DEAR ABBY: When I am planning an event or making reservations, I have a friend who always wants to know who is being invited. She also wants to dictate how many guests I should invite. If she arrives late, she gets upset if I haven't saved her a seat next to me. She's very high maintenance.

We have been friends for many years, and I don't want to lose that, but she's getting on my last nerve. She makes any event that I plan nerve-wracking. I have tried talking to her about it, but her response is that she's sorry I don't understand her! Please help. -- MISERABLE PARTY PLANNER

DEAR PLANNER: You may want to maintain the relationship, but don't you think it's time you drew a firm line with this nervy, pushy woman? It doesn't take a genius to "understand" her. She is controlling and insecure, and you have allowed it.

The next time you plan a party, leave her off the guest list. You can be sure word will get back to her, and when it does, she will ask you why. When it happens, be prepared to calmly tell her exactly what you have written to me. You say you are down to your "last nerve." Believe me, telling her calmly is better than erupting.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I met our neighbor "Maggie" one day while she was walking her dog. She has since befriended me via additional meetings on the street and walks about once a week. She's 68, has been looking unsuccessfully for a job for three years and has financial difficulties. I have given advice to her on job searches.

I have noticed that she has taken pictures with me in them and pictures of the front of our house. I recently came home late, and she seemed to be lurking near the front of our house. She has asked about our alarm system and when we will be out of town. It is starting to freak me out. How do I unload this person and determine whether she is just troubled or dangerous? -- CREEPED OUT IN THE EAST

DEAR CREEPED OUT: Start being less available for those walks. Vary your schedule so she won't run into you as often. Use your alarm system religiously and install cameras in your home. In light of the crime situation in many communities, this is prudent, regardless of your concern about this neighbor, who may be harmless but whose behavior seems odd.

DEAR ABBY: I've been with a couple of different women and every time I take off my clothes, I get laughed at and told to get dressed. Why is that? -- IT'S A MYSTERY IN INDIANA

DEAR MYSTERY: You shouldn't be taking your clothes off with anyone unless you are absolutely sure that seeing more of you is welcome. That someone would laugh at you is insensitive and unkind. These are not the type of women you should be pursuing. Better luck next time.

DEAR ABBY: My first long-term girlfriend ghosted me. She died soon afterward, and I'm left with a gaping lack of closure. I'm 19. We had dated for four years and we were best friends. We didn't live together, but planned to in the coming months. I intended to marry her.

One day out of the blue, she cut me off. She had been acting depressed, but convinced me she was fine when I (gingerly) confronted her about it. She ghosted me the next day. She blocked me, changed her number and refused to speak to me when I showed up at her house. Everything to my knowledge had been fine between us.

Weeks later, she had a terrible accident at work, and died in the hospital. I learned about it only afterward, from her mother. Her parents have denied me access to her room, to some shared personal and sentimental belongings and wouldn't let me adopt her pets, which were sent to the pound. Most painful for me, they asked that I not come to her funeral. Her family believes that because we weren't married and we hadn't been dating at the time of her death that I had no place with her things after her death, even though we were best friends who spent almost half a decade together.

I never got to speak to her, say goodbye or receive any answers. My family isn't being kind about the situation, either. They feel the same way as her family does. I feel like a widow. I have many questions that will always be left unanswered. How do I move on from this? -- MOURNING IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR MOURNING: Please accept my deepest sympathy for your loss. It is regrettable that your family hasn't been supportive during this difficult time. A way to move forward would be through grief counseling. Your doctor (or your family physician) should be able to give you a referral. However, if that's not possible, consult your religious adviser or even the funeral director who handled your girlfriend's service, because that person may have a resource for you.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 69-year-old divorced female. I dated a guy 40 years ago for about three years. I broke up with him because he wanted to be with me 24/7. I'm classic rock; he's totally country. Music is important to me. (I play piano.)

He was a great guy who was always there for me. We enjoyed a lot of vacations together. When we broke up, he said he wouldn't call me. Three years later he called to tell me he was getting married, and asked me what had caused our breakup. I told him to give his fiancee some space.

Now he's divorced and messaging me. He says he wants me back, he has never stopped loving me and is more in love with me now than ever. I haven't responded. What should I do? -- TORN UP IN MICHIGAN

DEAR TORN UP: How do you feel about him? If you think with the passage of time you could be happy with him, agree to see him. If not, tell him you felt smothered by him when the two of you dated, and you have no interest in resuscitating a dead romance.

DEAR ABBY: My 28-year-old daughter moved back home when COVID hit. She works as an influencer and also has a part-time job as a content creator. She doesn't pay bills. My husband doesn't want her to pay rent, etc. I feel it's important for her to do so. She does pay for her groceries and gas.

She stays in her room day and night. She used to go out with friends, but now doesn't do anything. She says she has cyber friends. We have asked her to come out with us at times, but she refuses. Another problem is, she hasn't gone to the doctor or dentist in a very long time. I talked with her about it, and she blamed me for not taking her. I offered to go with her, but she doesn't do anything about it.

My husband doesn't think there is a problem, but I feel there is. I feel we have enabled her, although we didn't mean to. Should we be charging her rent? How do we get her to become more social? How do we get her the right help so she can move forward in life? -- CONCERNED MOM IN RHODE ISLAND

DEAR CONCERNED MOM: A step in the right direction would be for your husband to take his head out of the sand and admit that his daughter may have a problem. The next step would be to have a frank talk with her and tell her that if she is going to continue living with you, she must agree to have medical and dental checkups. Go with her so you can understand what is going on, because your daughter appears to have some emotional issues. Her "world" may be on the web, but unless she can find one on terra firma, expect her to be under your roof forever.

DEAR ABBY: I've been in a relationship with my partner (we're both male) for more than four years. He argues nonstop about everything from politics to why the squirrel outside ran across the street. Daily, I hear him complain about everything, from the news to the grocery list, laundry, you name it.

A friend of mine will be in town this weekend. He invited my partner and me to a football game. When I shared this with my partner, he immediately declined, complained about the invite and said he'd rather stay home. I've had it up to here with his negativity, and I have decided to end this relationship.

I'm not happy with this, and I have decided that if my out-of-town friend wants me to start a new life with him, I would be all for it. I'd rather be happy and not have to deal with this. Life is too short. Your thoughts? -- DONE WITH IT IN COLORADO

DEAR DONE: If you are not happy with your partner, level with him about it. If counseling would improve things, see if he's willing to give it a try. If not, consult an attorney who specializes in family law and proceed with ending the union.

A word of caution, however, and I cannot stress this too strongly: You implied that you would like to be romantically involved with the friend who invited you to that football game. JUMPING INTO ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP BEFORE YOU HAVE RECOVERED FROM THIS ONE WOULD BE A HUGE MISTAKE. Give yourself time to detoxify. Meet people. Date around. You will have plenty of fun if you do, and less of a chance for another failed relationship.