DEAR ABBY: Out of nowhere, my husband announced he thinks we should unfriend each other on Facebook. I got upset and told him it would make me feel insecure about us, because I think there is no reason for it. I find it very suspicious, and if there is a reason, I think we should split up. He unfriended me anyway. He called me closed-minded and said I value Facebook over our marriage. Is he right? -- SOCIAL MEDIA-MINDED IN GEORGIA

DEAR S.M.M.: No, he's not right. Your husband's announcement was a red flag. When a spouse does what your husband has done, it's usually because he doesn't want his partner to see what he is posting and doesn't want to be monitored.

You need to discuss this further so he can explain his reasons. If the discussion is not productive, offer your husband the option of counseling with a licensed marriage and family therapist. If he refuses, consult an attorney so your interests will be protected.

DEAR ABBY: I have failed in a 30-year relationship and as a father of five. After feeling terrible for a number of years, I was finally diagnosed with a blood disorder. I was prescribed a chemotherapy pill and, two years later, was diagnosed with extreme neuropathy. Depression set in. I let myself go and rarely got out of bed. My wife complained because she wanted me to be more involved with the children, but I failed.

We are now going through a divorce. I have been cut off from my 13-year-old son, and I don't know how to reconnect. He's the youngest of my kids, and he's very special to me because he is adopted, as was I. I need help. I'm not good at asserting myself. Please help me because my heart is broken. -- NEEDS HELP IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR NEEDS HELP: The individuals who can provide the help you are looking for would be your divorce lawyer and a licensed mental health professional. The former will see to it that your legal rights as a parent are enforced; the latter can help you become more assertive as well as, hopefully, reconnect with your youngest child. Your heart may be broken, but it will heal more quickly if you start now.

DEAR ABBY: Our church has a potluck every Saturday. How do we deal with the freeloaders -- an adult family of three -- who never bring anything? They jump up to be first in line, don't help clean up and never fail to take leftovers home with them. They act like they deserve free meals. We are a small church and could use an extra dish, help in cleaning up, etc. Thank you for your advice. -- OUTRAGED IN OREGON

DEAR OUTRAGED: "Someone" -- preferably, but not necessarily, the religious leader of your church -- should take the family aside privately and explain the "rules" to them. It may not happen until the rest of you complain about what's going on. If that family cannot afford to bring a dish, the least they could do is assist with cleaning up.

DEAR ABBY: My fiance and I are engaged to be married soon, but we live (and will continue to live) in separate cities. We are in our mid-50s with children, and it's the second marriage for each of us.

My fiance isn't very verbal about his desires, but we talk with each other every day and we live together about half the time. I want to make sure he isn't lonely and isn't wanting more when we're apart, but I'm not an openly sexual person, and I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable engaging in video chat intimacy with him. I have raised the topic with him. He suggested I write to you and see what you suggest. -- LONG-DISTANCE WIFE-TO-BE

DEAR WIFE-TO-BE: If you both agree, I'm suggesting you and your fiance give it a try. If you do, it may not only enhance your married life but also teach you both how to discuss what you need from each other, which could only bring you closer.

DEAR ABBY: My husband of six years has left me for my sister. I'm brokenhearted because I thought he was the love of my life. I thought the six years we had together were wonderful for both of us.

I don't know how to continue on. My mental health is at an all-time low. Friends have tried to reach out to me, but I push them away because I no longer trust anyone. I'm afraid they, too, will hurt me. I am no longer in contact with my sister.

Should I allow my friends to comfort me, even when I have issues with them? Or should I try to heal on my own? My life is in ruins, and I can't seem to rise up from it. -- BROKEN IN THE CAROLINAS

DEAR BROKEN: Friends reach out because they care about you and want to support you. Please give them a chance to do that. If you have a religious adviser, talk to that person as well. Your life may seem like it has sunk to an all-time low, but it isn't over unless you allow it to be.

Your ex may have seemed like the love of your life, but please know you can do better. Dogs are more loyal than he was. Once you have accepted that fact, you may be able to move on. Talking to a licensed psychotherapist would be an excellent step. You can heal from this, but not until you make up your mind to allow it.

DEAR ABBY: I am writing you for two reasons. I am 60 years old and still a virgin. I like men, but I'm not much interested in dating. Is this normal? The second reason is, lately, I have been thinking about my mortality. I have promised myself for years that I would get a Bath and Body Works holiday package. It's $30 with a $30 purchase, so $60. I have rolled my coins and have more than $60. I'm not a wealthy woman. What do you think? -- BUCKET LIST IN THE EAST

DEAR BUCKET LIST: Not everyone has a strong sex drive. That you are still a virgin at 60 is normal for YOU, so stop worrying about it. As to the holiday gift you would like to give yourself, I say go for it. You only live once, so splurge and cross it off your bucket list with my blessing.

DEAR ABBY: I was divorced four years ago after a 27-year marriage. Unbeknownst to me, my ex-husband hadn't paid taxes for 17 years. We were always pretty strapped as a couple and the parents of four. Money was a constant worry, and I foolishly let him handle it all.

I am now on my own and pay everything on time, but my credit is still poor. I have been dating someone for 2 1/2 years. He has no children. He has a college degree but no savings at all, and he's $80,000 in debt. He lavishes me with gifts for birthdays. He's madly in love with me and incredibly kind and thoughtful. The sex is good, but I don't love him as much as he loves me. Our politics are opposite. He loses his temper now and then, and his finances are a mess. I have broken it off seven times.

He's now selling his house and planning on moving in with me. I have an engagement ring, and I'm afraid of what it will do to him if I end it again. I'm also afraid of being alone. We get along well and have fun, but I don't want the money worry. I know he would split the bills, but my income is small and will shrink further when my alimony is done. Help! -- MONEY MESS IN MICHIGAN

DEAR MESS: Before this relationship goes a step further, PLEASE discuss the implications with an attorney! You have hooked up with yet another financially irresponsible man. You may "know" he would split the bills when he moves into your home, but you'll have no guarantee unless you have it in writing, reviewed by an attorney and notarized.

It goes without saying that if you actually would consider marrying this person (in the near or distant future), you will need a prenuptial agreement in place. There are worse things than being alone, and one of them would be to tie yourself to someone who can't control his temper and can't handle money.

DEAR ABBY: I had an unfortunate incident at my son's wedding 11 years ago, for which I feel people are still judging me. I was sick in the months before my son's wedding and had just returned to work. The week of the wedding, my husband was in the hospital. He was discharged the morning of the wedding, with IV antibiotics to be given at home by me for several weeks. The wedding was big and beautiful. Classy.

During the reception, my husband's family read a poem they had written about my husband's medical problem to those in attendance. I was upset and decided to calm down by taking a walk around the neighborhood. While I was walking, the dance with my son was called, but I wasn't there. Instead of rescheduling for when I returned, my mother-in-law danced with my son. This was deeply upsetting to find out afterward. I don't think my husband should have let his mother do that. What are your thoughts? -- CAN'T LET GO IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR CAN'T LET GO: I think what's past is past, what's done is done, and you should stop dwelling on something you cannot change. If there is fault to be found, you all own a share of it. Now let it go.