DEAR ABBY: I'm a cross-dresser who is able to enjoy wearing women's clothes in private at home. With Halloween around the corner, I want nothing more than to be fully dressed as a woman and go outside to experience how it feels. I want to wear a nice dress, high heels, pantyhose, wig, makeup, etc.

My wife knows I enjoy dressing up and tolerates it. But she's unwilling to let me express myself out of the house or help me with the process. How can I get her to help me get dolled up and experience being a woman for one night? I feel so deprived not being able to be who I want to be. -- DRESSED AND READY

DEAR DRESSED: Halloween is the one night of the year when many people, yourself included, can decide to dress up and become who they really are (or would like to be). Because your wife won't assist you, consider visiting a makeup counter and asking one of the salespeople to help with your makeup that night. And, if nothing in your closet suits the real you, rent or buy an outfit for the occasion. You do not need anyone's "permission."

DEAR ABBY: A very good friend and neighbor sold a Taylor Swift ticket to my 15-year-old daughter for $900. I should mention, my daughter would have given her right arm for the chance to go to the show. The original ticket was purchased for $300, including fees. Initially, my friend wanted to sell it for $1,000, but she offered a "discount" because my daughter's 16th birthday was coming up.

I can appreciate the value of the hottest ticket in town and that it comes with an inflated price tag. However, from my point of view, it was merely a transaction meant for my friend to make a handsome profit off of my kid. I'm extremely disappointed at the price gouging, and now I think of the woman differently. I have been avoiding her because she will likely become defensive. Am I wrong in thinking her actions were not that of a good friend after all? -- FEELING SWINDLED IN THE WEST

DEAR FEELING SWINDLED: Because your neighbor sold the ticket to your daughter at three times what she paid for it, I would have to agree; she acted more like a ticket broker than a good friend. I see no reason why you should cut her off completely, but now you know she's a shark when it comes to "business," so keep your eyes open. On the upside, your daughter got to live her dream that night, and many of the fans who saw Taylor Swift in action have said it was the best show of their lives.

DEAR ABBY: What's the best way to tell your siblings you think it's time to stop exchanging Christmas gifts? We're all in our 60s, and, frankly, I don't feel they are ever very enthused about what we get them. It just seems like it's time, anyway. -- DONE IN NEW YORK

DEAR DONE: The best way to convey that message would be verbally, so you can explain that you are all long past childhood and feel a cheery Christmas greeting would suffice. And the best time to give them the news would be well before the Christmas holidays.

DEAR ABBY: For the last six years, my partner and I have hosted family Thanksgiving dinners. I always spend more time and energy than I have to make it beautiful and successful. This year, I have neither the budget nor a desire for the stress. I made it known early that we wouldn't be hosting this year.

Surprisingly, my little sister volunteered to host, and she sent an invitation to the usual crowd. The next day, she called me to tell me that although she would host, she couldn't possibly be expected to do all that work, and she told me to bring the turkey.

She said I was free to cook it at my place or "come a bit early" to cook it there. Shocked, I told her absolutely not, because avoiding this responsibility was the reason I'm not hosting. I was planning on bringing a side or dessert as is usual for guests, but not the main dish. She got mad and said I was ruining Thanksgiving.

I feel a growing responsibility to help her out, even though I don't need the stress in my life right now, and I know once I start, I'll take control (with her encouragement). She has no idea the amount of work that goes into this meal every year, and I think it will be a mess if I don't help her cook and prepare.

Am I being selfish? Should I go early and teach her how to cook the turkey (and do everything else) for the sake of rescuing this dinner, which everyone has come to expect meets a certain standard? The thought is making me miserable, but I feel myself caving to my sister's tantrum. -- NOT FEELING THANKFUL

DEAR NOT FEELING: Tell your manipulative sister you will come to her place early and show her how to properly cook the turkey, but you won't be bringing anything other than the side dish you already plan to bring. (This may be a way to teach her some independence.) If she needs more outside help, she should contact the other guests and tell them what she wants them to bring.

You are a generous and caring sister, but enough is enough. Your Thanksgivings will be happier if you share the responsibility with other relatives. Also, remember that there are easier ways to manage holiday dinners than cooking all the food yourself. Many people buy a bird or a ham already prepared, and the same is true for the side dishes.

DEAR ABBY: Recently, my wife suggested I write my own obituary (I am almost 80) as her parents did. Because I remember dates and places she didn't know, I drafted the document. Everything in it is accurate, but I emphasized the positive and omitted the negative. Previous marriages? My wife thought mentioning them seemed like I was bragging, although it is factually accurate and the way I would like to be remembered. We haven't been able to settle our differing views. What do you think? -- ACCURATE IN THE WEST

DEAR ACCURATE: Not everyone wants to advertise the fact that they have had multiple marriages, but facts are facts. If this is how you wish to be remembered, it is YOUR obituary. You have the deciding vote, and your wife should refrain from making any more editorial comments.

DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law is a sweet retired teacher. She lives an active life volunteering at her local Boys and Girls Club and keeping up with her friends. The issue is, her mobility and her memory are in decline, and she and her family are in denial about it.

She still drives and has recently had several fender benders. She also admitted to getting lost on her way home from the store and needing to call her brother to find her. A fall resulted in a broken wrist. She thinks this is funny and isn't worried at all. She won't disclose anything about her health care, so we can't talk to her doctor.

My husband refuses to talk with his mom about plans for moving or getting more help at home, and my brother-in-law won't intervene. Both have ordered me to step back. We live a day's drive away, so if something happens, it's going to be hard to get to her in a hurry. Why am I the only one worried, and what can I do? -- WRITING ON THE WALL

DEAR WRITING: Even though your husband and his family refuse to acknowledge that your MIL may need help and an intervention, it doesn't mean she isn't a danger to the community when she's behind the wheel. Consider contacting the police department in her community to report your concerns. The local police can file an "unsafe driver" report to your state's DMV, which may require your MIL to take a driving aptitude test. Depending on the results, the DMV may impose driving restrictions or revoke her license entirely.

Additionally, it sounds like your MIL is not the only one having difficulty accepting her diminished condition. Continue talking to your husband and encouraging action before there is a crisis. The decline you describe (falls, getting lost, fender benders) could be early warning signs of dementia or other cognitive decline, which may grow worse.

Even as you take difficult steps that will likely put you at odds with your husband and his family, encourage your MIL to remain active doing the things she loves, but in ways that will keep her and those around her safe.

The Alzheimer's Association's Dementia and Driving webpage offers tips and strategies to discuss driving concerns with a family member, and its helpline experts at 800-272-3900 are available 24/7 to discuss this as well as a variety of other topics you may face as a family with your MIL.

DEAR ABBY: A friend came to my home while she knew I was away on vacation. I had a trusted painter doing some work in the house. The friend came over, walked in as though I had given her permission and looked through the house. I know this because the painter mentioned it to me afterward. The painter was upset to learn she had deceived him, and I'm appalled by her incredibly rude behavior. Can and should a friendship continue after such an invasion? -- PERTURBED IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR PERTURBED: I don't think so. I see no reason to cause a scene, but if I were you, I'd take three giant steps back.