Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: I am a man in my 50s. A few months ago, I had a routine doctor's appointment, with a new primary care physician. I intended the appointment to be a complete, regular physical. I don't (thankfully) have any major physical health issues that I know of. But I was always taught it is wise to have periodic physical exams, in case there is a less obvious medical issue, as well as get to know one's doctor.

I went for the physical exam. I was not asked to undress as I have been with all my previous doctors. The doctor seemed nice, but I found it strange that I wasn't examined physically. I find it hard to understand how a doctor could properly examine me without me undressing. The doctor should be used to seeing bodies, and I cannot understand why the doctor or staff were reluctant to ask me to undress.

I found this all very confusing. Perhaps there was some miscommunication? I don't know if this is unusual, temporary or a new normal that I haven't heard about. Next time, should I be more clear about wanting to be examined thoroughly, or should I change doctors? -- COVERED UP IN VIRGINIA

DEAR COVERED UP: Contact the doctor, explain that in the past you have always had a complete physical which involved you disrobing and ask why it didn't happen during your last visit. If the answer you receive is unsatisfactory, change doctors.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married nine years. We are active in our church. I am very involved with our women's ministry, but my husband has an issue with our leader, "Nedra." Nedra has bad-mouthed my husband to my face. I went to my pastor with the issue, and I am, basically, waiting on God to fix it.

Our WM team meets multiple times a week, which means I leave my husband home alone for dinner on those nights. (I always make sure he has dinner when I'm not home.) Our meetings can go on for an hour and a half to two hours, and my husband is always upset when I get home from them.

I don't know what to do. He's not upset that I'm going to the meetings; he's upset at how long they last. Nedra doesn't like him, and he doesn't like her, especially since he knows what she said about him. I feel stuck in the middle. What do I do? -- LADY OF FAITH IN TEXAS

DEAR LADY: If these meetings occur more than twice a week, your husband may have a point. Whether he and Nedra like each other is beside the point, unless what he resents is that you are with that "witch." He may feel it encroaches on time you should be spending together. It's time you and your husband have a calm discussion about the frequency and length of those meetings so an acceptable compromise can be reached. Start now.

DEAR ABBY: My husband loves cooking for the family. Unfortunately, he's a horrible cook. My kids hate what he prepares, so most of the food goes in the trash.

I have had many conversations with him about this, begging him not to do it and telling him if he wants to cook, he should make something for himself. His reply is always, "I'm not forcing you guys to eat my food. You are welcome to eat something else." But when we do that, he sulks and ruins everyone's day, so we end up giving in. I don't know how to get through to him about this. -- TASTES BAD IN THE EAST

DEAR TASTES BAD: You can talk till you're blue in the face, and your husband still won't get the message because he doesn't want to hear it. He doesn't care about the waste.

Of course, you and the kids could explain exactly what you don't like about what he has prepared, and offer suggestions about the seasoning, etc., which might help him. And perhaps you could all cook together from time to time.

In the future, when your children achieve independence and the family gathers, each family member may want to bring their food with them. However, while they live under your roof, they'll have to accept what their father insists on giving them.

DEAR ABBY: My son is getting married in Mexico in six months. I would like to take a special friend with me as my plus-one. My wife has dementia. It is quite severe, and she has been in a care facility for two years. She no longer recognizes anyone, including me. Would it be wrong to take my lady friend to Mexico? We haven't been intimate yet, but romance at the beach in Mexico is very possible. What do I do? -- UNCERTAIN IN IOWA

DEAR UNCERTAIN: Your son's wedding is not the time to "surprise" anyone with this lady's presence. Depending upon how large your family is and how close you all are, some people may already be aware that you're involved with someone and why. But ask your son and his fiancee if bringing her would be disruptive, and gracefully base your decision on their response. A wedding is supposed to be about the bride and groom on their special day with no distractions.

DEAR ABBY: I heard my old high school boyfriend was arrested. It made the news. I hadn't seen or heard from him in more than a decade. While I'm relieved that I dodged a bullet (I am happily married to someone else now), I feel terrible for his mom. We are still friends on social media and keep up with each other. Should I reach out to her in what must be a humiliating and concerning time, or should I keep to myself? -- HESITANT IN TEXAS

DEAR HESITANT: Because you and this woman have a relationship that extended beyond the one between you and her son, by all means reach out. Tell her you heard what happened, and that you care about her and want to be supportive. She may or may not contact you, but she'll know you care about her. Knowing someone cares could make all the difference for her.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a cross-dresser who is able to enjoy wearing women's clothes in private at home. With Halloween around the corner, I want nothing more than to be fully dressed as a woman and go outside to experience how it feels. I want to wear a nice dress, high heels, pantyhose, wig, makeup, etc.

My wife knows I enjoy dressing up and tolerates it. But she's unwilling to let me express myself out of the house or help me with the process. How can I get her to help me get dolled up and experience being a woman for one night? I feel so deprived not being able to be who I want to be. -- DRESSED AND READY

DEAR DRESSED: Halloween is the one night of the year when many people, yourself included, can decide to dress up and become who they really are (or would like to be). Because your wife won't assist you, consider visiting a makeup counter and asking one of the salespeople to help with your makeup that night. And, if nothing in your closet suits the real you, rent or buy an outfit for the occasion. You do not need anyone's "permission."

DEAR ABBY: A very good friend and neighbor sold a Taylor Swift ticket to my 15-year-old daughter for $900. I should mention, my daughter would have given her right arm for the chance to go to the show. The original ticket was purchased for $300, including fees. Initially, my friend wanted to sell it for $1,000, but she offered a "discount" because my daughter's 16th birthday was coming up.

I can appreciate the value of the hottest ticket in town and that it comes with an inflated price tag. However, from my point of view, it was merely a transaction meant for my friend to make a handsome profit off of my kid. I'm extremely disappointed at the price gouging, and now I think of the woman differently. I have been avoiding her because she will likely become defensive. Am I wrong in thinking her actions were not that of a good friend after all? -- FEELING SWINDLED IN THE WEST

DEAR FEELING SWINDLED: Because your neighbor sold the ticket to your daughter at three times what she paid for it, I would have to agree; she acted more like a ticket broker than a good friend. I see no reason why you should cut her off completely, but now you know she's a shark when it comes to "business," so keep your eyes open. On the upside, your daughter got to live her dream that night, and many of the fans who saw Taylor Swift in action have said it was the best show of their lives.

DEAR ABBY: What's the best way to tell your siblings you think it's time to stop exchanging Christmas gifts? We're all in our 60s, and, frankly, I don't feel they are ever very enthused about what we get them. It just seems like it's time, anyway. -- DONE IN NEW YORK

DEAR DONE: The best way to convey that message would be verbally, so you can explain that you are all long past childhood and feel a cheery Christmas greeting would suffice. And the best time to give them the news would be well before the Christmas holidays.