DEAR ABBY: A good friend of 20 years has been homeless for several months. After a short stint of staying in various Airbnbs, she is now mostly living in her car. She has a good-quality, FREE living option available to her. But it would require her to move five hours away, and she doesn't want to leave her job here. Meanwhile, I have a guest room.

Since experiencing homelessness, my friend has stayed with me and my family on three different occasions, each time for about a week. But it's not a sustainable or long-term option. Long story short, we don't want a roommate.

The last time she stayed with us, my friend turned down an affordable living situation with a roommate because the house was too "gross" for her. I found it frustrating. Housing in our area is expensive, and she works part-time at most. Her talk of getting more work has gone nowhere so far.

I know I shouldn't take on her problems as my own. But it's hard to wonder about my friend's safety, where she's showering, charging her phone, keeping her food cold, etc., while my guest bedroom sits empty. Am I wrong not to open up my home to her indefinitely? I feel like she's one car lease payment away from sleeping under a bridge. On the other hand, she has options she's refusing to take. What does a good friend do in this situation? -- FORTUNATE IN OREGON

DEAR FORTUNATE: If one is wise, she lets her friend live the life she has chosen (in her car) without intervening further. As kind as you are, you cannot rescue someone who is unwilling to help herself.

DEAR ABBY: My youngest son married and moved across the country to the West Coast. They did this because his wife is very controlling -- her mother lives there and she pressured him into it. They then had three children, who, because we live on the East Coast, we unfortunately rarely see.

My son is now having serious marital issues because his wife and mother-in-law have teamed up against him after his father-in-law died from COVID. He wants to leave his wife and return to his family here, but won't do it because of the kids. He's at his wits' end and doesn't know what to do. Any suggestions? -- SADDENED IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR SADDENED: Advise your son that he should discuss his problem with an attorney who specializes in family law and a licensed psychotherapist to help him through this difficult period. If he separates from his wife and mother-in-law, he could still be near the kids and involved in their lives without being double-teamed, which should bring him some relief. After you have suggested this, step back and let your son work his way through this. Be supportive from a distance and stay out of the line of fire.

DEAR ABBY: My young daughter is the half-sister of a famous athlete's wife. They were married last year and invited my daughter. A week later they disinvited her! There is a 20-year gap in their ages, but my daughter looks up to her half-sister. My daughter's feelings were really hurt. My feelings may have been even more hurt. All of her other siblings were there, as well as several other family members.

We were never told why my daughter was disinvited. Her father did not stand up to his older daughter for breaking his younger daughter's heart. My daughter is getting older, and she knows who her brother-in-law is when she sees him on TV. How can I stop being angry at these people for hurting my baby? -- FURIOUS MAMA IN MICHIGAN

DEAR MAMA: You stated there is a 20-year age gap between your daughter and the bride. Is it possible that the bride and her famous fiance had concerns about someone so young (7, 8, 9?) at their high-profile wedding? Before your resentment continues to build, try having a rational conversation with your daughter's half-sister so you fully understand the circumstances. While I do not support disinviting someone from a celebration, it's possible that the invitation was sent in error.

DEAR ABBY: My son, who is 32, moved back home six months ago. He's a college graduate with a degree in business, which he has never used. He works as a valet at a well-known golf and spa resort. He has no health insurance and stays in his room a lot playing video games. How can I help him find himself? -- KID'S MOM IN FLORIDA

DEAR MOM: Is your son suffering from depression or some other emotional problem? Is he at least paying rent? If the answer to that question is no, help your son "find himself" by encouraging him to become independent and by refusing to continue allowing him to avoid accepting responsibility for himself by hiding in his room playing video games. Start now, or you will be writing me in another 10 years with this same issue.

DEAR ABBY: For his 60th birthday, my niece gave her brother a handmade quilt of pictures of their paternal grandmother and her second husband. There was not one picture of his maternal grandparents, who practically raised them. Their mother (my sister) argued with me that I was wrong to question why our parents were excluded. I would love to know your opinion. -- WONDERING IN THE EAST

DEAR WONDERING: I am glad you asked. This was none of your business, and you should have stayed out of it. Although you are entitled to your feelings, your niece gave her brother a gift from the heart, which took time and effort to create. You were wrong to criticize. If you feel she left some relatives out, create a family album for your nephew and give it to him.

DEAR ABBY: Our son plays a college sport for which he receives four complimentary tickets for each game. It works out well because there are four of us in his immediate family.

However, my husband has been asking friends of his to join us at games by offering them free tickets. Our son then must find a teammate with unused tickets and ask for them. My husband gives no warning. He just announces a couple of days prior to a game that he has invited so and so. Then, on game day, we are responsible for getting these friends in and seated with us.

More than once, we haven't been able to enter stadiums and see our son before games, or the beginning of a game, because his friends are late and he must stay behind to meet them.

I think it's inconsiderate to me and our son that my husband turns it into a three-ring circus. He thinks "the more the merrier" and isn't concerned about the hassle he creates for our son or my feelings. Am I being irrational? -- IRRITATED IN THE EAST

DEAR IRRITATED: You are not being irrational. Your husband behaves this way because HE doesn't have to bear the burden of the inconvenience he causes. If you would like to put an end to what he has been doing, make HIM responsible for buying his friends' tickets and missing the start of the game if they are late. Stop making it your problem and place it where it really belongs.

DEAR ABBY: I have a serious problem I have lived with for practically my whole life. I'm sloppy. I am incapable of keeping my surroundings clean and taking care of my belongings. Each time I resolve to get busy and clean up my house or car or whatever, I become overwhelmed with anxiety and nothing gets done. Being unable to keep my surroundings clean and take proper care of my possessions has led to some very unpleasant situations in the past. I can no longer afford to continue this pattern of behavior. Please tell me what to do. -- SLOPPY JOE IN INDIANA

DEAR JOE: You have already taken the first step, which is admitting you have a problem with which you need help. You might feel less overwhelmed if you take on these projects one at a time. Start with one drawer or counter before moving on to the next.

An important next step would be to tell your doctor what has been going on, and ask for a referral to a psychotherapist who can help get to the root of your anxiety. Talking with a mental health professional and possibly taking medication could be helpful, and I hope you will consider it. I applaud you for reaching out. You are not alone in having this issue.