DEAR ABBY: I recently found out that my 20-year high school reunion took place and I wasn't invited. I'm still occasionally in touch with several friends from high school and easy to find on social media. I did attend my 10-year reunion, although I may not have received an invite myself because I went as part of a group.

I wasn't very popular or close to the "in" crowd in high school, but I was social, albeit quirky. I'm sure it was a simple oversight, but I'm having trouble getting past this. I keep thinking about the trope of the loser in high school coming back to the reunion to shine.

Abby, I feel pathetic because I wasn't even asked. I'm not sure I could have gone because I have two babies at home, and we are still somewhat COVID-cautious, but it hurts not to have been invited. Any suggestions for how to stop feeling slighted? -- UNWELCOME IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR UNWELCOME: Think back. Did you sign up for the alumni association when you attended that 10-year reunion? I'll bet you didn't because if you had, they wouldn't have left you alone and you would be receiving appeals for money and current information. I am pretty sure your omission from the guest list was an oversight. To prevent it from happening again, all you have to do is be proactive about making sure you are included in the next one.

DEAR ABBY: My common-law husband and my daughter don't get along. Even though he is good with kids, she doesn't want him around her children. The last time we were at her home, he got upset with me. He demanded we leave and went out to the car to wait for me. (I had told my daughter we were staying for two nights; this happened after one night.) My daughter felt he was disrespectful. She was upset and asked me what was going on. I became upset and my granddaughters saw me crying, which got them upset. My daughter then informed me she doesn't want him around her kids again.

Now, a year later, my husband still will not acknowledge any wrongdoing, nor will she. I'm stuck in the middle. He has threatened that if I spend time with her, he will spend time away from home. I am not choosing him over my kids. How can I handle this? -- JUST WANTS PEACE IN CANADA

DEAR JUST WANTS PEACE: Handle this by stepping out of the middle. If you want to see your granddaughters, visit them alone. If your common-law husband follows through on his threat to spend time away from home, that would be the perfect time for him to do it. If you can't trust him while you take a little family time off, then you don't have much of a marriage -- common-law or otherwise.

TO MY READERS: The eight days of the Jewish holiday of Hanukkah begin at sundown. Happy Hanukkah, everyone. A joyous Festival of Lights to all of us. -- "LATKAS" OF LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: Three days before my daughter "Ginger's" wedding, her fiance called to announce that he could not marry her because she's bisexual. It's something he knew about for a year but waited until three days before the wedding to mention.

Needless to say, my husband and I were shocked, embarrassed and devastated. We had gone to a wedding with Ginger and her fiance the Saturday before her wedding date, and they were excited about their own wedding, talking about the home they were building and about having a baby. By the following Wednesday, it was over! She has reimbursed us for half of our expenses for the wedding.

Ginger has since been involved mostly with women who have stolen from her, treated her badly and lied to her. We no longer trust our daughter because we thought she was happily engaged, but she lied when she told us how happy she was and how great she and her fiance got along. We cannot accept the current situation, and our relationship with her is now very strained.

We told her to live her life but not to bring these women around. Since then, she has chosen to stay away. We miss our daughter but are not willing to accept this behavior. We don't think Ginger is even trying to gain back our trust. Please give us your best advice. -- LOST IN LOUISIANA

DEAR LOST: Has it occurred to you that your daughter may be a lesbian who tried to appease you and her father by claiming to be bisexual? It is a blessing to all concerned that the wedding was canceled.

If you're a regular reader of my column, you surely must be aware that some women have dysfunctional "manpickers." In your daughter's case, she's having the same problem choosing her female partners. Rejecting her because you don't want "those women" around is not the solution to her problem. Instead, suggest she seek counseling at the nearest LGBTQ community center so she won't continue seeking love in all the wrong places.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I were excited to go on an $11,000 Caribbean cruise. His 22-year-old son was not that enthusiastic. We invited him to join us for dinner, shows or to play games, but the majority of the time he refused. The only time he'd join us was for events that were paid for in advance.

He called his mom, grandmother and girlfriend every night, but not once did he call his father's mother. To me, it seems like he's not interested in his father, grandma or me. The moment we arrived home from vacation, he bolted out the door to meet his girlfriend and slept at his mom's house. What can I do to bring this family together? -- SOCIAL DISASTER

DEAR SOCIAL DISASTER: Although at 22 your boyfriend's son is legally an adult, he didn't act like one on that trip. In fact, he demonstrated that he was uninterested and didn't want to interact with his father or with you. It is nice of you to want to bring him and his dad closer, but it's time for you to step back and let them work it out. Nothing you can do will fix this.

DEAR ABBY: A woman where I work refuses to acknowledge me. Every day for the past nine months, she walks by my desk and ignores me even after I've said "Hello" or "Good morning." I hate to seem petty, but I don't get how someone can be so rude.

Has workplace culture become so impersonal that people no longer have or employ basic social skills? It costs nothing to say hello or to smile -- it's the least she could do. -- FEELING INVISIBLE IN LOUISIANA

DEAR INVISIBLE: Of course the woman's behavior is rude, and even somewhat hostile. You might ask her if you have offended her in some way and see what kind of reply you receive. I agree that there has been a general decline in basic good manners over the last 10 years. However, one never knows what burdens those we encounter might be carrying. Depression, anger and stress can affect the way we treat others. My advice would be not to take this personally and, because you know she's not open to exchanging social amenities, to stop what you have been doing.

DEAR ABBY: Four years ago, I lost my husband of 20 years. After it happened, I told his younger brother, whom he was closest to, that I was going to write about him. However, some things have stopped me. I lost our dog six months ago and watched her follow a similar path as my late husband, which hurt me deeply. The other reason is, I believe his family may not want to know the truth.

His brother thinks my husband was a great man. He did have good qualities, but he wasn't the saint his brother thinks he was. He was emotionally abusive and he raped me numerous times. He often yelled at our dog for simple things, and he wasn't faithful, either. So -- should I write the story they don't want to hear? -- PEN IN HAND IN TEXAS

DEAR PEN: They say the pen is mightier than the sword. But if you want to continue to interact with these former in-laws, refrain from the temptation to use it to cut their brother down to size.

DEAR ABBY: My grandson's ex-wife is instructing their four children to "be mean" to his new 6-year-old stepdaughter. The children are all under 12. We do not speak to the ex-wife, but what can we do to stop this destructive behavior? -- APPALLED IN GEORGIA

DEAR APPALLED: I am so glad you wrote. Your grandson's former wife is behaving like a vengeful witch. That she would use the children to hurt a blameless child is appalling. You may be able to defuse some of this by sitting the "grands" down and explaining what you expect of them. Tell them that the little girl is not to blame for their parents' divorce, and that you expect them to treat her the way they would like to be treated. Then enforce the rules, as their father should.