DEAR ABBY: My daughter, who is in eighth grade, has slowly come out as lesbian. She enjoys makeup and fashion, but isn't absolute in presenting in a feminine way. She is an artist and a musician, is very creative and enjoys being unique in her style sense.

Some of the students have tried to project onto her that she's actually transgender, which she is not. They ask if she is a boy or a girl even though she is obviously female. As she walks through the campus and in class, the kids holler in front of the campus monitors and teachers, "Is 'it' a he/she/it?"

My daughter is being shunned in PE even though she is very athletic, belongs to Junior Lifeguards and excels at this every summer, and she's a wonderful cross country runner. She is becoming discouraged at school even though she is an A-B student, and she no longer wants to go to PE because of the harassment she's receiving in front of teachers.

I have complained before and was told students have been spoken to, but I find it kind of shocking that they keep doing this in front of the teachers and hall monitors, who do nothing about it unless I say something. What are your thoughts? -- FIERCE MAMA IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR MAMA: All students deserve to get an education free from harassment. Talk to your daughter. Assure her that you love her and you will support her any way you can.

Because the teachers have done nothing about the harassment she's receiving and the administration has been unresponsive, consider transferring your daughter out of that school and into one that is progressive -- with artistic and creative teachers and students. (Obviously, your daughter's school isn't one of them!)

If things cannot be improved at her school, consider consulting a civil rights attorney and ask at the nearest LGBTQ center about counseling for your daughter. For support for yourself as well as your daughter, research the nearest chapter of PFLAG, the nation's largest family and ally organization for LGBTQ individuals. Its web address is pflag.org.

DEAR ABBY: I was invited to a child's birthday party that included the adults in the family, and was given specifics about what time to arrive, etc. I arrived on time. As I started to put out the food I had brought (after spending hours shopping and preparing it) the hostess told me in front of the guests that there was too much food and to put mine away. I complied because it was the mannerly thing to do.

The next day, her husband asked me whether it had made me feel "sour" in a way that suggested that had been the intent. What would you do to maintain dignity? I had absolutely no idea what to do. -- CONFUSED AND HURT IN THE EAST

DEAR C&H: You handled the situation properly. Because of what the husband said, have a discussion with the hostess and ask what it was all about.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for 25 years. Right now, our marriage is in trouble because I have been ordered to rekindle a relationship with his mother, whom I haven't spoken to in six years.

In my opinion, the woman is toxic. For 17 years, she has essentially stabbed me in the back. At my husband's request, I forgave her each time. I love him, but I have come to realize he always takes her side. In his eyes, she can do no wrong.

Six years ago, we had an issue regarding her spanking my children. I asked to meet in a neutral location to discuss it, but she and my husband's stepfather refused. To resolve the situation, I agreed to meet at their home under one condition: If an argument began, my husband and I would leave. We even drove there separately.

Upon our arrival, my father-in-law began screaming at me, so I left, and I've had no contact with my in-laws since. My husband says if his mother goes to her grave without this issue being resolved, he'll never forgive me. I told him I did nothing wrong and I have no intention of rekindling a relationship with his mother.

To top it off, my husband and his mother have been putting ideas into one of our children's heads, and now he is telling me I make everything awkward and I should fix the problem. Help! -- GANGED UP ON

DEAR GANGED UP ON: In California, it is against the law to hit a child. If Granny's old-fashioned method of discipline is ongoing, you cannot reconcile with her, and the children should be kept away from her.

If this was a one-time incident, tell your husband you will forgive his backstabbing witch of a mother one last time. However, if she raises a hand to one of the children again, you will call child protective services and a lawyer because she's a menace.

DEAR ABBY: I need help deciding whether I should attend a wedding. I avoid crowds for health reasons. My son's girlfriend's older sister is getting married. Although my son has been seeing his girlfriend for more than seven years, I have never met any of her family, nor have I been invited to any events. I suspect it may be career-related, although I'm now retired. The bridal couple is requiring all guests, male and female, to wear black. I don't own a black suit. My guess is this invitation is a cash call. Your thoughts? -- UNDECIDED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR UNDECIDED: Because you do not know your son's girlfriend's family and don't want to buy a black suit, in addition to the fact that you avoid crowds for health reasons, you are off the hook. If you do receive a formal invitation, send your regrets and a nice card wishing the joyful couple a lifetime of happiness together.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 42-year-old male, married for 19 years with three teenage children. My wife recently decided to return to work after staying home with the kids as a full-time mom. She's an elementary school teacher and has a male co-worker.

For six months, this co-worker has been texting her constantly, sometimes every day for several weeks at a time. Along with work-related texts, he asks for advice regarding his recent breakup with a longtime girlfriend. He has also been sending random texts late at night asking how she's doing, and "checking in" messages.

Two weeks into summer break, he messaged her asking her how her summer was and telling her what's going on in his life. I have confronted her about the borderline inappropriate texts he sends, and she assures me nothing is going on between them. She says she's "handling" it by not responding to his texts but will not tell him to quit texting her.

I have never met this guy, but feel I need to have a conversation with him explaining my concerns. Emotional affairs are real, especially in a workplace. Even though I trust her, I don't trust him, and I feel disrespected. I understand they work together and need to communicate, but this feels wrong. Any advice would be appreciated. -- EXCESSIVE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR EXCESSIVE: I urge you to forget about confronting your wife's co-worker. Try this instead: Tell your wife you want to meet and get to know this co-worker and suggest the three of you (or four, if he would like to bring a date) meet for a casual lunch or dinner. If you do, it will give you insight into what is going on. He may be quite a bit younger, trying to be friendly and asking for dating advice because he thinks of her as a mentor. I do not think this has anything to do with respect or lack of respect for you.

DEAR ABBY: The few times I have been able to visit some dear extended family, the hosts have left me elsewhere for most of the day. During my last visit, the husband and wife left me with in-laws, nieces and nephews for 12 hours at a time while they worked. They didn't mention this as we arranged the visit.

I wouldn't have visited if I had known they would leave me to go do something more important. While I adore my young nephews and nieces, I prefer to visit the folks who actually invited me. What can I do? -- LEFT IN LOUISIANA

DEAR LEFT: I am wondering whether these relatives invited you to visit, or if you invited yourself. If it's the former, tell them that if you had realized they'd be so scarce, you wouldn't have come. If your relatives' schedules are so full that they can't reserve time to be with you, consider renting a car so you won't be so dependent on them for transportation. Either that, or cut your visit short because you aren't enjoying it.