DEAR ABBY: I moved to a smaller city from a larger one seven years ago. There are fewer businesses here. I often struggle to get home repairs done because people here operate on "regional time," meaning they get to stuff when they feel like it, if they feel like doing it at all.

Some of my home repairs had to wait nine to 12 months, in spite of weekly or biweekly follow-ups to check the status of repairs and parts. Often, I receive no response to my inquiries. What they call regional time, I call rude, inconsiderate and a waste of the time I must spend following up.

It's not like I can take my business elsewhere, because they realize they are the only business in town that can do the needed repairs. I have tried things like buying them lunch when they show up in a reasonable amount of time to thank them for their "outstanding" service, but it seems to have no effect on improving service in the future. Any thoughts on how to light a fire under their backsides? -- PROMPT IN CANADA

DEAR PROMPT: You might offer these tradespeople a generous gratuity if they show up in a reasonable amount of time and do a satisfactory job. Other than this, my only suggestion would be, in light of the emotional cost of dealing with these issues in a small community, to consider returning to the big city.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a married professional woman with three kids, a demanding job and responsibility for my aging parents. I don't have a lot of downtime. Really, there isn't any downtime. I'm barely balancing the things on my plate and caring for my family.

Other than them, I have few people I'm close with because I don't have the time or capacity to do more. I know I can be the bad friend who asks for more help than I can give, and I'm working on being better.

We have a new neighbor I like very much who has been trying very hard to make friends. She's invited me out twice and stopped by to chat several times, but I'm always busy. It would be lovely to have a friend in the neighborhood, but I truly can't make time for anyone else.

The next free evening I have is five weeks from now, and then only if I can find a babysitter. Is there a way to say to someone, "I'd love to be friends -- in two years when things slow down"? -- OVEREXTENDED IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR OVEREXTENDED: If you can pause long enough for a 10-minute conversation with this woman, explain it to her as you have to me. Tell her you like her very much, but your schedule is so crammed right now that the first opportunity you have to get together is five weeks from now IF you can secure a babysitter. That way she won't feel personally rejected.

TO MY READERS: I wish you all a joyous, meaningful, healthy and safe Christmas. Merry Christmas, everyone! -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: My daughter, who is in eighth grade, has slowly come out as lesbian. She enjoys makeup and fashion, but isn't absolute in presenting in a feminine way. She is an artist and a musician, is very creative and enjoys being unique in her style sense.

Some of the students have tried to project onto her that she's actually transgender, which she is not. They ask if she is a boy or a girl even though she is obviously female. As she walks through the campus and in class, the kids holler in front of the campus monitors and teachers, "Is 'it' a he/she/it?"

My daughter is being shunned in PE even though she is very athletic, belongs to Junior Lifeguards and excels at this every summer, and she's a wonderful cross country runner. She is becoming discouraged at school even though she is an A-B student, and she no longer wants to go to PE because of the harassment she's receiving in front of teachers.

I have complained before and was told students have been spoken to, but I find it kind of shocking that they keep doing this in front of the teachers and hall monitors, who do nothing about it unless I say something. What are your thoughts? -- FIERCE MAMA IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR MAMA: All students deserve to get an education free from harassment. Talk to your daughter. Assure her that you love her and you will support her any way you can.

Because the teachers have done nothing about the harassment she's receiving and the administration has been unresponsive, consider transferring your daughter out of that school and into one that is progressive -- with artistic and creative teachers and students. (Obviously, your daughter's school isn't one of them!)

If things cannot be improved at her school, consider consulting a civil rights attorney and ask at the nearest LGBTQ center about counseling for your daughter. For support for yourself as well as your daughter, research the nearest chapter of PFLAG, the nation's largest family and ally organization for LGBTQ individuals. Its web address is pflag.org.

DEAR ABBY: I was invited to a child's birthday party that included the adults in the family, and was given specifics about what time to arrive, etc. I arrived on time. As I started to put out the food I had brought (after spending hours shopping and preparing it) the hostess told me in front of the guests that there was too much food and to put mine away. I complied because it was the mannerly thing to do.

The next day, her husband asked me whether it had made me feel "sour" in a way that suggested that had been the intent. What would you do to maintain dignity? I had absolutely no idea what to do. -- CONFUSED AND HURT IN THE EAST

DEAR C&H: You handled the situation properly. Because of what the husband said, have a discussion with the hostess and ask what it was all about.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for 25 years. Right now, our marriage is in trouble because I have been ordered to rekindle a relationship with his mother, whom I haven't spoken to in six years.

In my opinion, the woman is toxic. For 17 years, she has essentially stabbed me in the back. At my husband's request, I forgave her each time. I love him, but I have come to realize he always takes her side. In his eyes, she can do no wrong.

Six years ago, we had an issue regarding her spanking my children. I asked to meet in a neutral location to discuss it, but she and my husband's stepfather refused. To resolve the situation, I agreed to meet at their home under one condition: If an argument began, my husband and I would leave. We even drove there separately.

Upon our arrival, my father-in-law began screaming at me, so I left, and I've had no contact with my in-laws since. My husband says if his mother goes to her grave without this issue being resolved, he'll never forgive me. I told him I did nothing wrong and I have no intention of rekindling a relationship with his mother.

To top it off, my husband and his mother have been putting ideas into one of our children's heads, and now he is telling me I make everything awkward and I should fix the problem. Help! -- GANGED UP ON

DEAR GANGED UP ON: In California, it is against the law to hit a child. If Granny's old-fashioned method of discipline is ongoing, you cannot reconcile with her, and the children should be kept away from her.

If this was a one-time incident, tell your husband you will forgive his backstabbing witch of a mother one last time. However, if she raises a hand to one of the children again, you will call child protective services and a lawyer because she's a menace.

DEAR ABBY: I need help deciding whether I should attend a wedding. I avoid crowds for health reasons. My son's girlfriend's older sister is getting married. Although my son has been seeing his girlfriend for more than seven years, I have never met any of her family, nor have I been invited to any events. I suspect it may be career-related, although I'm now retired. The bridal couple is requiring all guests, male and female, to wear black. I don't own a black suit. My guess is this invitation is a cash call. Your thoughts? -- UNDECIDED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR UNDECIDED: Because you do not know your son's girlfriend's family and don't want to buy a black suit, in addition to the fact that you avoid crowds for health reasons, you are off the hook. If you do receive a formal invitation, send your regrets and a nice card wishing the joyful couple a lifetime of happiness together.