DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend is the loveliest, smartest, most compassionate and supportive person I know. We have been together for a year and a half. When we first met, we hung out a few times. When I told her my feelings toward her, she responded that she was in an open relationship, so I backed away.

Months later, we met up again. I helped her with a carpentry project, and she said she was done with the open relationship stuff and wanted a monogamous relationship. I agreed. We have a caring, supportive relationship that means the world to me.

Multiple ex-boyfriends call her and want to hang out, and she wants that, too. What bothers me is worrying the exes' intentions may not be good, yet she feeds into it and tells me I need to trust her. I struggle with jealousy, anger and distrust when this happens, and I have shared those feelings with her, but she can't let these folks move on. She says I'm stealing her freedom and controlling her by asking her to ignore them. This is the biggest problem in our relationship, but everything else is great. Are my emotions wrong? -- INSECURE IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR INSECURE: Your emotions are not "wrong." Your emotions are your emotions. Sometimes there is sacrifice involved when we form new relationships. Your girlfriend may have many fine qualities, but if she can't understand that you feel these former lovers are a threat to your relationship, rather than attempt to "control her," realize she isn't the girl for you. Sorry!

DEAR ABBY: I have developed several serious health conditions that won't get better. I am at high risk for respiratory illnesses. Even a common cold can have a serious impact on my life. My family just doesn't get it. My husband does not understand my situation and my needs. His social life puts me at risk, yet he continues to attend large gatherings and events such as concerts. I have had COVID twice, and avoiding hospitalization is crucial. I'm currently on oxygen and will be until I die.

There are places I would like to visit, and things I would like to do while I still can. But my husband balks, especially if his plans need to be changed. I can't do these things or travel without assistance. I NEED him now. With every "not now" and "we will see," I grow increasingly frustrated and depressed. What can I do? -- BUCKET LIST IN KANSAS

DEAR BUCKET LIST: Recognize the person you married is selfish and self-centered. "Not now" and "we will see" mean NO. (What a guy!) His refusal should not mean you mustn't enjoy the activities you dream about. You may, however, have to become creative and arrange for someone other than your husband to accompany you. He may not like it, but please consider it.

DEAR ABBY: With no discussion, my husband decided to retire two years ago. He said he would just take Social Security and we'd be fine. He failed to take into account that he was underage for Medicare, and all of his dental and medical bills would become my responsibility since I'm still working. Luckily, I convinced him to leave SS alone, and to roll his 401(k) into an IRA.

There have been bumps. He spent several months sitting all day long unless I asked him to do something specific. I finally put my foot down, and he's now responsible for evening meals, cleanup and laundry. Unfortunately, he does little beyond that. Most of our conversations begin with, "I watched a video today ..."

Abby, I have been working since I was 13, and I'm tired of working, too. I find myself angry and jealous of my husband's laziness. I have started eating and drinking more than I used to, and we have no sex life. I have no energy to garden, go out after work or do anything on the weekends.

Any ideas about how to rid myself of the jealousy? I think if I could do that, I'd start to feel better about the rest. -- WORKING GIRL IN TEXAS

DEAR WORKING GIRL: Although you identify your problem as "jealousy," I'm not sure that's what I'd call it. Some classic symptoms of depression are ones that you listed in your letter -- exhaustion, losing interest in things you used to enjoy, lack of energy, overeating, drinking, etc.

It's time to consult your doctor about these symptoms, as well as the fact that you have now been forced to carry more responsibility in your marriage. You may need counseling or medication, and your doctor can refer you to someone who can provide them.

It also wouldn't hurt to encourage your husband to get out of the house and exercise his brain and talents by volunteering in the community. If nothing else, it would enable him to bring more interesting dialogue into your conversations. Exposure to people with other interests and opinions could stimulate him, and you.

DEAR ABBY: I need advice about people who are dishonest. I have been to several baseball games and wrestling events where people paid for lower-priced seats but then sat in the more expensive seats. I know I shouldn't let it bother me. However, I feel this is unfair.

I want to say something to the staff, but I don't want to be "that" person who causes trouble. When my boyfriend and I buy the cheaper seats, that is where we sit. It's the right thing to do. How do I stop letting the actions of others disturb me? -- HONEST IN WISCONSIN

DEAR HONEST: I heard a line in a play years ago that stuck with me. It was written by Voltaire, and it goes, "Cultivate your own gardens." To me, it means concentrate less on what others are doing and more on the standards by which I live my own life.

You have every right to be disgusted when you see people cheating. But allowing it to become a preoccupation is a distraction, and it only lessens your own good time. (Cross your fingers and hope the folks who bought those seats show up and embarrass the cheaters.)

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for two years. We rushed into marriage, unfortunately, before getting to know each other very well. Whenever we have a disagreement, he gives me the silent treatment for days. Sometimes, it lasts weeks.

He won't eat anything I cook or help around the house. If I'm in one room, he will lock himself up in another one. He sleeps on the couch or on a pull-out mattress. Eventually, he will end it by returning to our bed and trying to initiate intimacy. I usually accept, but the issue never gets resolved or discussed -- we just carry on. When I've tried discussing the issues, he says, "Don't start!"

I'm fed up with his childish behavior. We have a 7-month-old baby and children from my previous marriage, so it has become increasingly difficult for me to leave him. He's not the type to go to therapy. He will admit we have communication issues, but that's the extent of it. I've reached the point that I no longer care about our marriage, and if I had the means, I'd happily leave. Please help. -- SILENT TREATMENT IN THE NORTHEAST

DEAR SILENT TREATMENT: Because your husband doesn't want to go to therapy does not mean you shouldn't. When you tell him that you plan to schedule some sessions, expect him to find a dozen reasons why you "don't need it" or to go into another silent phase. Therapy for you would be illuminating and could help you decide how much longer you want to tolerate an increasingly intolerable living situation.

DEAR ABBY: We recently attended the wedding of a close family member on my husband's side. All went seemingly well until the next day when I was sharing snapshots of the beautiful day with my stepdaughter.

I promptly received what I'll call a form letter via text from her, saying: "Hi! As the holidays approach, we're sending this message to our close family members. With flu season coming up and a rise in COVID cases, we're asking everyone to not kiss the baby. This is also a reminder not to take or post photos of the baby. We take lots of beautiful photos of her and if you'd like some, we are happy to send them to you. Our goal is to minimize her media presence until she's old enough to consent to how her pictures are used."

When I spoke to other family members, I realized none of them had received this message. I'm hurt. I spent what I thought was a beautiful day at a family function, taking snapshots of the event and of our grandchild. Now here's a text telling me not to take pics of her. I don't know how to handle this. -- JOY DESTROYED IN THE WEST

DEAR JOY DESTROYED: You are the only person who received that message because you are the only person who was taking photos. Parents are entitled to decide whether they want pictures of their children posted on social media. You should always ask whether it's OK to post pictures of an event or a child before doing so. Now you know how your stepdaughter feels about it, so "handle this" by apologizing for any mistake you might have made.