DEAR ABBY: I recently married, and my 19-year-old son and I moved in with my new husband. My son works full time and goes to school part time. My husband expects him to do dishes and other chores. My son does take care of the recycling and trash on a weekly basis. I work from home part time, and I don't mind doing the chores. This is causing a lot of contention between us. Am I wrong to defend my son? -- WILLING IN FLORIDA

DEAR WILLING: You should not have to "defend" your son. There are now three adults living under that roof. Your son is not a freeloader, he's working full time and taking classes. All three of you should be doing the dishes "and other chores" as needed. And you should all be in agreement about the timing and rotation of who will do what, and when.

DEAR ABBY: I'm irritated by my neighbors, and I don't know quite how to approach it. I live in a densely populated, but quiet, neighborhood. New neighbors moved in a couple of years ago, and after moving in, they hung a wind chime on their front porch. This isn't your average wind chime. If I had to guess, the chimes are at least five feet long.

At first, I didn't think much of it. These whimsical little melodies you hear every time the wind blows can be cute, I guess. But it gets quite windy here, and I'm constantly distracted by the loud, clanging chimes. I don't want to be the type of person who knocks on their door and tells them how I feel. I was hoping you could chime in. -- DISTURBED IN RHODE ISLAND

DEAR DISTURBED: Make it your business to find out what the noise ordinances are in your neighborhood. Then become the type of neighbor who knocks on their door. When you do, wear a smile and bring along a small gift.

Explain that you don't want to appear to be a complainer, but could they please modify those wind chimes, because on windy days the constant banging gives you headaches. If they are good neighbors and cooperative, be grateful. However, if they aren't, you may have to pursue legal means.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together for 12 years, but things have changed. We sleep in separate beds, we both work and we spend little time together, and we can't have a decent conversation.

I feel like I have a roommate who just comes and goes as he pleases. He always has an excuse for not spending time with me and our daughter. I don't feel like we are married anymore. What should I do? -- DISSATISFIED IN VIRGINIA

DEAR DISSATISFIED: Tell your husband you feel like you are living with a roommate rather than a spouse. Tell him you miss the closeness you once shared, and ask if he is willing to work on it. What is currently happening isn't fair to you or your daughter. Then make an appointment with a marriage counselor to discuss the state of your marriage -- with him, if he's willing -- or without him.

DEAR ABBY: My 30-year-old stepson, "David," is a convicted sex offender, currently serving a 15-year sentence for possession of child pornography and having inappropriate conversations with a preteen that almost went further. This was his third arrest for the same thing. David is also mildly autistic.

I am beside myself. Because of David's autism, his family looks the other way about his crimes. They all send him money, call him, buy him things, etc. I have kids of my own, and, frankly, the whole situation makes me want to vomit. I hide how I feel and try to be there for my husband because he loves his son, and it pains him to see David in prison. He also has been wonderful to my kids and raised them like his own.

I'm dreading what is going to happen when David is out of prison. He has nowhere to go, and I know he's going to want to live with us. I am 1,000% against this, and I truly believe it could happen again.

My kids will be adults soon and away at college when he's released, so I can't use that as an excuse for him not to live with us. I also don't want my home address on the sex offender registry. The street where I live is full of children. What can I do?

I don't want to lose my husband over this. I love him with all my heart, which is why I can't tell him how I feel. Every time David speaks with his dad, he tells him he wishes he were home with him. Please help! -- STEPMOM WHO'S DREADING IT

DEAR STEPMOM: It is time to have an honest talk with your husband about this. When a sex offender is released from prison, there are stipulations in place. One of them is being forbidden to live close to young, vulnerable children. Because your street is populated with them, David may not be able to live with you. This is something you and your husband need to be communicating about as David's release draws nearer, because it will have an impact on your lives.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I are part of a three-couple group who enjoy dining out as well as entertaining in our homes. However, while my wife and I and one other couple serve as hosts, the third never invites us into their home. They often suggest a menu or an occasion for us or the other couple to serve when we host.

This has gone on for at least five years. Both wives (who do most of the work for whatever in-home event there is) don't seem bothered by it, but it irks me. Is there a way to kindly suggest the third couple host without causing a problem? -- FAIR IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR FAIR: There can be several reasons why people behave as this couple does. They may not be confident in their cooking skills or the appearance of their home. However, they should attempt to make up for it in other ways such as offering to bring food or beverages, or by doing the cleanup after the dinners. I see nothing wrong with asking the couple the reason for their reluctance, as long as it is done privately.

DEAR ABBY: My son, who is in his senior year of high school, is dating a beautiful, sweet girl I'll call "Amanda." I'm very fond of her. This is an exciting year for them both because soon she will be shopping for her graduation gown. Amanda told me her mom has said she will have to wear her older sister's dress. (Her sister graduated seven years ago.) Finances are tight for their family. I asked Amanda how she feels about it, and she isn't happy.

I would love to buy her a gown. I remember being in high school and how exciting it was to be able to buy a new gown. My daughter is two years older and says that soon the girls in school will be talking about shopping for their new gowns. I really want this experience for Amanda.

The problem is, I don't want to offend her or her mother with my offer. Should I stay out of this? Should I approach her mother? I have met her mom only a couple of times, and I don't want to step on any toes. Even if my son and Amanda are not together by the time graduation happens, I would still want her to have a dress of her choosing and all the experiences that come with it. -- OFFERING ASSISTANCE IN CANADA

DEAR OFFERING: You are a caring, thoughtful, generous woman. However, the subject of Amanda's family's finances is sure to be a delicate one. Do not discuss this with Amanda yet. Consider reaching out "mother-to-mother" and explaining that Amanda mentioned she might be wearing her sister's dress for graduation.

Explain to Mom that you care about Amanda, and suggest that if she would allow it, you would love to take them both to lunch and to shop for a dress she might like. Tell her you would like that to be your graduation gift to Amanda or, if this is something she'd prefer to be just between the two of you adults, you would reimburse her for the expense. Then cross your fingers. You are a sweetheart.

DEAR ABBY: My oldest daughter, "Teri's," mother-in-law snooped into Teri's text messages and found a cartoon I had sent of two early Colonials at a bar, one saying to the other, "I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch." An argument ensued over her looking at the texts without permission. Shortly after, I received a text from her mother-in-law with a middle finger emoji.

I live in the same city the mother-in-law lives in. Teri lives far away. Sooner or later, our paths will cross, and I'm not sure what I should say or do. My text was meant as a joke -- though I must admit the mother-in-law is not an easy person to get along with. I did not respond to her emoji. Actually, I blocked her number on my phone. What should I do? No one has ever given me the finger before! -- HUMOROUS DAD IN THE SOUTH

DEAR DAD: There's always a first time. Tell the woman you are sorry "if her feelings were hurt" and explain that the cartoon was a joke, rather than a judgment of her personally -- or, when you see her, laugh about the emoji, which was probably also meant as a joke.