DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law on my wife's side stayed a week and a half with us in Florida. I love her very much, and we all had a lovely visit. She has stayed with us before, alone and with my brother-in-law. We welcome them with open arms. Family means a lot to us.

Now to the problem: After she left, I found an envelope with a thank-you card and $200 in it. I feel insulted, as they are always welcome here. We are not a B&B. This is the first time something like this has happened. We have a nice home, but my wife was complaining about money issues in front of our company. We are going through a rough patch at the moment, but we are not broke or destitute. Compared to us, my in-laws are wealthy.

My ego is bruised. We are better off than most people and are blessed with all we do have. I want to send the money back with a gracious thank-you note, but my wife says no. I am angry with her as well. Was she out of line for not keeping our money situation private? -- FUMING IN FLORIDA

DEAR FUMING: Please don't be angry about the gift, which was given with love. Write the sister-in-law a gracious thank-you note, keep the money and tell her she doesn't need to give you more because your situation isn't dire. I don't think your wife was out of line -- I think she was simply chatting with her sister when she made the remark.

DEAR READERS: On Dec. 6, I published a letter from "Lost in Louisiana," whose daughter's fiance canceled their wedding three days prior to the event "because she's bisexual." The parent was worried about her daughter's new choices in female partners and upset that she had lied, and requested her daughter not bring these women around. After responding to the letter, I heard from members of the LGBTQ+ community -- in particular, bisexual people -- saying I "could have done better" with my response.

I have since learned that the bisexual community is the largest segment of the LGBTQ+ community, the least visible and the most misunderstood. This has contributed to perpetuating the myth that bisexuality is a halfway point between straight and gay, a "stepping–stone" to people coming out as lesbian or gay, or an identity people claim in order to deny being lesbian or gay. Not true. Being bisexual simply means that the person has the capacity to be attracted to people of different genders. And because one is bisexual does not mean they cannot be monogamous.

I regret that I didn't point out to the parents that their unsupportive response may be a reason their daughter had not come out to them as bisexual earlier. Further, I could have suggested that to become a safe, loving and affirming presence for their daughter, they educate themselves about bisexuality. If they do, their daughter may be more open to hearing their concerns about her choices in partners, which is less about the gender of those partners and more about their treatment of their daughter. -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: Our wonderful daughter has her doctorate. She's a hardworking professor, a job she loves. Her husband, "Phil," has three master's degrees and also his doctorate. In their 20 years of marriage, he has not worked a single job. He would say he is a writer, but if I am generous, he has earned perhaps $250 during their marriage.

Phil is rude, disrespectful, stunningly immature, a bully, toxic and passive-aggressive. He drinks too much and goes to the gym three hours a day. I worked as a psychiatric social worker. My wife of 42 years, who has never said one negative thing about anybody, refers to our son-in-law as "the Grump." Their 10-year-old son is a joy and a blessing to be with. Unlike his father, he has a work ethic and is kind and grateful.

I fully understand we don't control anybody else and often cannot even influence their choices. Over the years, we have spent many nights in tears over what Phil has done or said to us. We have been very generous to them during their marriage. We wish we could keep our daughter and grandson and give Phil a one-way ticket. Our daughter seems reasonably happy in the marriage, but we suspect she's afraid to say anything for fear of being bullied. Any thoughts? -- SEEING CLEARLY IN MAINE

DEAR SEEING: Your daughter has stayed married to this "winner" for a reason. If she is fearful of what will happen if she speaks up about her feelings, it seems to me her husband may have more to lose than she will if he gets out of line. You are entitled to share your feelings about him, but in the final analysis, the choice is up to her about how she wants to live her life.

DEAR ABBY: I recently celebrated my sixth anniversary of sobriety. I keep having the same issue pop up time and time again, and I'm not sure how to deal with it.

If I'm invited to dinner with a friend or a group, when the bill comes, someone usually suggests splitting it evenly between the number of people there. My issue is that my water and my salad come out to an average of $30, including the tip. Meanwhile, other members of the group order several alcoholic beverages, which in Los Angeles aren't cheap.

The first time it happened, I'd had dinner with a friend and left the restaurant asking myself why my tab was $80 when it's normally $40. What's a polite way of expressing that I would like to pay only my portion of the bill? I don't want to seem cheap, but fair is fair. -- SOBER AND SMART IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SOBER AND SMART: I agree that fair is fair. That's why, the next time you go to a restaurant with friends, you should ask your server in advance for a separate check. If your companions ask why, explain the obvious -- that you are a teetotaler and prefer not to pay for alcoholic beverages you haven't consumed.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 41-year-old gay man. Although I was raised in a conservative, religious family, I'm out of the closet and proud to be living as myself. For much of my adult life, I have attracted mostly women. I have always tried to handle these situations with as much tact as possible. However, some women won't be let down easily. On the occasions when I have been forced to out myself to them, I have lost female acquaintances I really enjoyed spending time with or the friendship begins to deteriorate. I have tried introducing them to straight male friends and deflecting flirtatious banter. Am I confused, or do some women genuinely believe they can change my orientation? I don't want to give up on female friendships. Am I doing something wrong by being myself? -- OUT & PROUD IN THE WEST

DEAR OUT & PROUD: The women who are pursuing you for romantic purposes may be interested in you for that reason and be less interested in a platonic friendship. Years ago, a gay friend was kind enough to tell me, "You can't 'change' a gay man," and it was a lesson I never forgot. "Out" gay men can make great friends. That your female acquaintances are not open to it is their loss. You are doing nothing wrong. When this happens, express to the person that you are disappointed they seem unable to accept you the way you are, and move on. Not all women are this unenlightened, and many will welcome what you have to offer.

DEAR ABBY: I live in Chicago, where our spring and summer months are slowly contracting into a three-month period. I know you can't do anything about the weather, but the invitations to Saturday graduations and birthday parties are using up those long-awaited summer weekends to the point they have almost been monopolized. Working full-time Monday through Friday, I look forward to my weekends, especially in the summer, but I keep being invited to Saturday afternoon celebrations. I own a lake house. Some neighbors have boats, and I'd love to spend the majority of our weekends there. As much as I want to celebrate these life events, I also want to enjoy my summer. If they would have them on a Sunday, it wouldn't intrude on too much of the weekend. What is your advice? -- WARM-WEATHER LOVER IN ILLINOIS

DEAR WARM-WEATHER LOVER: I have good news and bad news. First, the bad news: It is unrealistic to expect schools to schedule their graduation ceremonies on a day that suits your schedule. The good news is, if you send a nice gift to the graduate, it will assuage their pain at your absence. As to those family celebrations, you have some important decisions to make about which invitations you must accept in order to avoid causing hurt feelings. However, my advice is essentially the same: Send a nice gift and a warm message of congratulations along with your regrets that you are unable to participate in the happy occasion "because of a prior commitment."