DEAR ABBY: For nearly three years, I have been seeing a man who later asked me to move in with him. He abruptly stopped emailing me four months ago. I waited several weeks and then emailed him, telling him how upset and hurt I was and asking what was going on. I found out -- not from him -- that he has been in a relationship with another woman for the last five years. I am furious! I am at a loss about what I should do. -- SHATTERED IN OREGON

DEAR SHATTERED: The man may have abruptly stopped communicating with you because the woman he has been involved with found out about the romance he was having with you. Have you heard from him since? (If not, she may have rendered him speechless.) It's important you find a way to discharge some of your righteous anger. Believe it or not, physical exercise can help. Talking to friends or a therapist may also lessen the urge to explode. Learn whatever lesson there is to learn from this and move on. Do not let it rule your life. Everyone makes mistakes, and he was one.

DEAR ABBY: Without consulting me, my husband gave my father's U.S. Army uniform to my brother complete with honor patches. My sister-in-law now wears it as a fashion statement, saying that she is a "Sullivan." This is not sitting well with me. She is only a Sullivan by marriage.

I feel it is disgraceful to prance around in something you haven't earned, and it's insulting not just to my late father, but to all who have served. Her father also served, but she isn't wearing his uniform. -- DISRESPECTED IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR DISRESPECTED: Your husband should not have given your brother the uniform without first consulting you because it wasn't his property to give. What your SIL is doing with it seems less like a fashion statement and more like an example of "stolen valor," which may be offensive to many people, particularly those who have served. It is not a crime by virtue of the fact that she isn't impersonating a soldier. But it would be in better taste for her to wear her own father's uniform rather than your dad's.

DEAR ABBY: What's the best way to deal with an "overgifter"? My friend of 10 years is one, often giving gifts beyond holidays and birthdays. Every time we hang out, she gives me something, either food or small trinkets. I asked her three years ago to tone it down. Two years ago, I sent her a letter saying I value our friendship and, for me, the best gift is quality time. She stopped for a while, but six months ago, she started up again.

Abby, I throw away all her gifts. They are usually stale or expired foodstuffs or trinkets I don't have the space to store. I'm trying to find a way to make my boundaries clear. But I don't want to hurt her feelings in the process. -- TOO MUCH IN WASHINGTON

DEAR TOO MUCH: Because your friend may have forgotten, remind her that you do not want her giving these gifts and that the most treasured gift she can give you is time with her. Explain that her continuing to do it is making you uncomfortable. Then cross your fingers and hope that this time she gets the message. If she doesn't, you will have to remind her yet again.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married 32 years. I cannot remember the last time he asked me about my day, let alone my life, without a prompt from me. I feel ignored and emotionally neglected. After years of this treatment, I'm no longer willing to tolerate it.

He doesn't engage with me verbally unless he has a question or a complaint. If I laugh out loud at something I am reading, he never asks what's funny. We do love each other, but we have very different personalities. I respect his introversion, and he respects my need for social engagement. His career demands very long hours, and I understood that from the start. We have been living parallel lives most of our marriage.

Our children are grown and out of the house. He is a good man. He tells other people how much he loves me and how beautiful I am, but he doesn't say it to me. I try to engage him in basic small talk and hug him every day, but he doesn't respond or take the initiative.

Years ago, he volunteered that he wasn't seeing someone else. I am not, either, but I do have a standing offer from an old flame who does talk with me and does tell me how fine I look. I would never disrespect my husband by having an affair, but maybe it would get my juices flowing again. Is there anything to salvage here? -- DISSATISFIED IN TEXAS

DEAR DISSATISFIED: An affair might get your juices flowing again, but not with your husband, so I don't advise it. You and your husband may love each other, but unless you are willing to stay on a starvation diet, it may be time to make some decisions about whether the status quo is how you want to live the rest of your life. Do not attempt to do this alone. A licensed marriage and family therapist should guide you -- and him.

DEAR ABBY: I recently reconnected with an acquaintance who has now become a dear friend. I have at least one meal a week with her and her family. I suffer from misophonia, and they are always quite in tune, asking if the volume is too loud on the TV or whatever.

However, while we are eating, there is a lot of lip-smacking and open-mouth chewing by my friend and her 17-year-old daughter. I love them, and I try to ignore it, but it's extremely difficult. I remember my friend doing this 20 years ago when we were teenagers.

I know it's not my place, but is there anything that can be said? I worry about this girl heading off to college soon with such deplorable table manners. They are otherwise wonderful, amazing friends. -- HEARS TOO MUCH IN NEW YORK

DEAR HEARS: I agree that atrocious table manners can be a handicap when young people fly the nest. You can, as tactfully as possible, remind your friend ONCE about your hearing disorder and that it is magnified when she and her daughter chew with their mouths open. If that doesn't help, however, you may have to stop being a dinner guest.

DEAR ABBY: I host holiday meals for my out-of-town family. During the last one, my cousin's 5-year-old son ran up and down the upstairs hallway pretty much nonstop the entire time. The floor is ceramic tile, so when he did this, it made a huge racket and shook the house. The pounding frayed my and my husband's nerves, but we didn't say anything because I was afraid it wouldn't go over well.

In the future, I asked if he can be told we have a house rule of no running inside. I also asked if there is a game or something I can buy to keep him entertained or redirect him if he starts doing it again. I was then informed that "this is just what children his age do and it is impossible to get them not to run." Trying to compromise, I asked if it could be limited to the three-season room, the outside or the basement, and was told they probably won't come then.

My mother was just diagnosed with a serious illness, and I would hate to not have part of the family here this year because of this. Was my request out of line? Is there another solution? My cousin and her family say their homes are too small to host, and no one wants to go to a restaurant. -- UNNERVED IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR UNNERVED: If this is "just what children his age do," then one or both of the child's parents should take their son outside so he can burn off some of that energy. (It's not unlike what some pet owners do out of respect for their hosts' house rules.) I have seen parents do this in restaurants when their child becomes disruptive, so it's not unheard of.

If your cousin considers this too much of a burden, then please accept that she has chosen to be absent, and do not let it diminish your good time when the next holiday rolls around.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have two kids -- a 3-year-old who has see-through pale skin and blond curls, and a 4-month-old with an olive complexion and straight brown hair. When we are out together, people often ask me if my kids have the same father. Is this a polite question? The potential answer could involve sharing intimate details of my relationship history or our fertility. No one is entitled to any of those answers in casual conversation, so why do they ask?

This happens so often that our preschooler has started to wonder aloud who her brother belongs to, if not her daddy. It makes me crazy. I have plenty of answers lined up for the impertinent question, but how do I keep people from asking in the first place? -- MOM OF BEAUTIES IN PUERTO RICO

DEAR MOM: There is no end to the nosy, rude and sometimes stupid questions people ask. Your answer should be, "If you will forgive me for not answering you, I'll forgive you for asking me that." However, there is no way to stop a stranger from asking a question in front of your children, short of carrying cotton candy and stuffing it in their mouth. (Note that I'm not suggesting you use a dirty diaper.) Be sure to explain -- and repeat as needed -- to your preschooler that not all siblings look alike, and her sibling absolutely belongs to her daddy and to her.