DEAR ABBY: I recently married and was excited to be part of my husband's family. My own siblings and I are not particularly close. During COVID, one of my husband's sisters started a family text chain in which they share what's happening in their lives. I thought it was a great idea.

Not technically being a family member yet, I understood why I wasn't included in the thread. But after our wedding, I wasn't added to the chain. Come to find out, none of the spouses are included. I have also learned from my husband that his mother really had no use for any of her kids' spouses, because technically "we are not one of them."

They aren't sharing earth-shattering information with one another. It's normally fun stuff or things their kids are up to, etc. It is very hurtful that I'm not included. I have to hear everything secondhand from my husband.

Am I wrong to feel this way? I asked him to add me to the list and he tried, but he couldn't. Instead of pursuing it with his sister, he just dropped it. I have asked him several times to see what he can do, to no avail. I feel like he doesn't have my back. Your advice? -- LEFT OUT IN FLORIDA

DEAR LEFT OUT: Your husband doesn't have enough power in his family to do what you have been requesting, which is regrettable. Rather than pout, consider starting a text chain of your own, comprising of all the outcasts who have been excluded from the "our bloodline and nobody else" chain. It might be fun, and you may find it's a club that is welcoming and has some interesting things to say.

DEAR ABBY: My wife of 26 years is having an affair with another (married) man. We have teenage kids and so does he. She has been having him over and meeting him out for the last four months. The kids have noticed how she takes off in the middle of the day for hours to do a "solo hike." Several times, my teenage daughter has called me at work, frantic, saying Mom is not answering either of her phones and was supposed to pick her up at the agreed-upon location.

My wife claims to love us both and wants to continue both relationships. For our family's sake, it is sad that this has happened. He is the manager of a local business, and I encounter him from time to time. I want to ask him how he thinks this is OK. What should I do? -- SHARING HER IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR SHARING HER: Make up your mind about what kind of a marriage you want. If it's what you are experiencing now, do nothing. However, if it isn't, tell your wandering wife she must end the affair now. Offer her the option of counseling to see if you can get your marriage back on track.

Instead of talking with the man she's having the fling with, tell his wife what has been happening if she's unaware. That your wife is so irresponsible she would leave her daughter stranded while she's "hiking" is disgraceful. If your wife refuses counseling, contact an attorney.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 32-year-old woman who has been with my boyfriend, my first and only partner, for 11 years. Overall, our relationship is healthy. He's smart, kind, supportive, caring, loyal and funny. I can see us getting married and living a happy life together.

The problem is, aside from a few short-term gigs, he hasn't had a job for the last six years, when he left his office job to move with me for my career. I've done well. But although he has applied for all sorts of jobs -- sales, admin, medical, police, government, fast food -- no one has hired him.

Last year, he developed a heart condition, and he can no longer perform physical labor. He also suffers from depression. So, I've been paying for nearly everything. I'm lucky not to have credit card debt, but at age 32, I have no retirement savings. My job barely covers living expenses for us and our pets.

I want to progress in life and have an equal partner. We've discussed marriage, and I think he's "the one." But how long should I hold out hope of him finding a job? Do I just keep on hoping, or do I consider ending things and breaking both our hearts? -- BURDENED IN FLORIDA

DEAR BURDENED: Has it occurred to you that the reason the man you love has been unable to find employment all this time may be connected to his depression? It would benefit you both if he consulted a doctor and sought treatment for it. Free and low-cost counseling is available through the county, as well as through colleges and universities with departments of psychology. Please explore this before ending your relationship because it could be the solution to your problem.

DEAR ABBY: My sister has become very interested in Zen meditation. I'm afraid she has become obsessed with it. She spent a week at a special meditation workshop during which she said she meditated all day, every day to the point that her back hurt from sitting so much. She's now saying she wants to become a Zen priest, which necessitates spending three months at a Zen center meditating constantly.

My sister has a husband and two teenage daughters I think she's neglecting. She earned a master's degree in economics at a prestigious university but works only part time as a bookkeeper to allow more time for her Zen center.

How can I politely persuade her to focus on her family and career, and let Zen meditation be her hobby rather than the focus of her life? -- PRIORITIES IN THE WEST

DEAR PRIORITIES: Your sister is an adult, intelligent and capable of making her own decision about the path in life she chooses. Nowhere did you state that her husband and children disagree with it. I do not think your input on this subject, regardless of how "politely" you offer it, will be welcomed. Keep your opinion to yourself unless asked for it.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together almost 20 years. I used to be happy in our relationship, but over the last year or two, he has changed. He gives me no physical affection and constantly showers love on his new dog. When I ask for more affection, he accuses me of being jealous of the dog. I'm not! I love the dog, too. I'm just sick of asking for more from him and not getting it.

I used to feel hurt. Now I feel like maybe I should end our marriage. His lack of affection or compliments has turned me cold to him. What should I do? -- CRAVING HUMAN AFFECTION

DEAR CRAVING: Something has changed. Your husband appears to be using the dog to stay away from you. If you can, try to get him to agree to a session with a licensed marriage and family therapist to discuss your issues. If he refuses, schedule some appointments for yourself, to help you rationally decide whether you want to remain married under these circumstances.

If the answer to that question turns out to be no, gather as much information about the assets you and your husband share after almost 20 years of marriage, and contact an attorney.

DEAR ABBY: I was widowed 10 years ago and have been with my boyfriend (a friend of my late husband's) for nine years. We live together. He's legally married but lives his life as if he is not. I do not want a commitment, but I do feel his being legally married is interfering with furthering a true relationship. What are your thoughts regarding continuing this relationship? -- COMPLICATED IN NEW YORK

DEAR COMPLICATED: Your boyfriend (of nine years!) may be separated, but he's legally married. Although you say you don't want a commitment, you deserve a partner who is not attached to someone else. You should have moved on as soon as you knew it wasn't in his game plan.

DEAR ABBY: I understand sometimes people need time and space. I have a friend who, for the second time, has pushed our friendship aside, claiming he needs "time and space." I haven't heard from him in several months. The issue I'm having is, I don't feel like HE should get to decide when it's OK to come back into my life at HIS convenience. I'm not a hotel to check in and out of whenever he feels like it.

If/when he decides to contact me again, like he did the last time, is it OK for ME to be upset with him this time? I don't want him to think I am available at his convenience. -- BACK AND FORTH IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR BACK AND FORTH: Not only should it be OK for you to express that you're upset, but it would also be OK for you to tell this person you are not a yo-yo and sever the string. That way YOU get to decide whether you even want him back and not vice versa.