DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 28 years. Last year I was diagnosed with cancer. It was discovered because of a seizure I had at work. They put me in an ambulance, took me to the hospital and did a CT scan, which revealed my stage-4 cancer. Prior to this, my wife didn't work, while I had a well-paying job. This instantly reversed for obvious reasons.

My wife was extremely attentive. She started taking me to all my appointments and spent a lot of time with me in the hospital on her days off. This was about a six-month ordeal, and long story short, when I saw my doctors last week, they announced that after 35 radiation treatments and seven chemo treatments, they can no longer find any visual evidence of the cancer. I was so thrilled I cried.

Since then, my wife has been drinking heavily and getting angry with me just about every night. I don't know what's going on with her or what to do. She's the best woman I've ever met, and I don't want to lose her, but she's starting to become violent. Could you give me some advice? -- RECOVERING BUT CONFUSED

DEAR RECOVERING: Your wife may be reacting to the trauma she suffered when you became ill, which meant she had to become the primary caregiver. This, however, does not excuse her excessive drinking and violent episodes. Of one thing I am certain: You MUST NOT allow the status quo to continue, regardless of how much you love her. She should be evaluated by her doctor to see if something is medically wrong with her. And the two of you need to get into counseling right away, and because she can't handle her drinking, she may need to start rehab or join a self-help group.

DEAR ABBY: My 22-year-old stepdaughter has been receiving very large Venmo payments into her bank account. I know this because my husband, her father, is also on the account and I have access to it. We have asked her several times where the money is coming from. The first time, she lied and said it was from dog walking. (She has a history of lying.)

She has recently started claiming that her old "boyfriend" from four years ago -- whom she broke up with because she found tons of photos of half-naked women on his phone -- was sending her money. Abby, this isn't $20 or even $100. It's thousands of dollars EVERY month. Her ex was a delivery driver. No way can he make that much after-tax money. Where do you think she's getting the money? I say sex, but my husband refuses to believe it. What should I do? -- SUSPICIOUS IN TEXAS

DEAR SUSPICIOUS: I, too, suspect that your stepdaughter may be involved in something sex-related. She could be an escort, have found herself a sugar daddy, or be participating in a sex webcam show. She could also be involved in selling illegal drugs.

Because your husband refuses to believe his daughter would do anything illicit, for the sake of your marriage, take a step back. Wait to see what transpires. His daughter is an adult and is responsible for making her own decisions. Because she has trouble telling the truth, there is nothing you can do to help.

DEAR ABBY: I recently started planning my wedding. Half the friends I want as bridesmaids are very conservative. They think sex is sacred and should be talked about only discreetly, not joked about, mentioned on TV, etc. I used to hold similar views, but I no longer do. Neither do the other half of the girls I want as bridesmaids.

My dream bachelorette party is the kind you see in movies, a group of girls going out on the town getting tipsy -- maybe being a little stupid -- nothing dangerous, with sexy games/favors and casually swapping sex tips and double entendres. That may not be possible with my straight-laced friends, whom I really like and would like to include.

I pick up on others' feelings easily, so I can't ignore when someone around me is unhappy. I want all my girlfriends to enjoy the party, but two or three of them won't appreciate the humor of drinking from a phallus-shaped straw. Should I split the guest list and have one prudish party and one sexy one? -- GOOD/BAD GIRL IN THE EAST

DEAR GIRL: That's an excellent idea! And we all know which one you are going to enjoy.

DEAR ABBY: I just found out my husband has been texting with his high school sweetheart for the last three years. He contacted her and shares all day-to-day activities, like our vacations, new dog, etc. She lives 2,500 miles away. She's divorced, retired like us and has children and grandchildren. I snooped and read his email. I can tell by her responses that she is being polite.

I don't understand why he contacted her after so many years and why he shares everything with her, as we have a close relationship and share everything. He did mention a year ago that he was in touch with her. I didn't think much about it then, but now that I know how long this has been going on, I'm wondering why. Should I be concerned about this? -- PUZZLED IN MAINE

DEAR PUZZLED: What is happening could be innocent, or it could be crossing a line. You will never know until you discuss this with your husband. You may not have to disclose that you read the texts if you say you recalled him mentioning that they were in touch "a while back" and let the conversation evolve from there.

DEAR ABBY: I recently received an Evite to a surrogate baby shower. I was happy to attend. Each guest was asked to bring a box of diapers, our favorite children's book and a donation to help cover the surrogate expenses. A written explanation of how expensive the surrogate process is was also included.

In my opinion, when the couple started the surrogacy process, they were aware of how expensive it would be, and to ask the shower attendees to contribute to it is a little nervy. Was this proper etiquette? -- WONDERING IN NEVADA

DEAR WONDERING: No. Soliciting the donation was over the top. I can't help but wonder how many invitees declined the invitation because of it. To ask for money was tacky.

DEAR ABBY: I've been with the same guy for almost five years. I was madly in love with him the first three years, but after I had my daughter, things slowly changed. We haven't been intimate in a while. I had some female issues I wanted to take care of, plus I'm not physically attracted to him anymore. He makes little comments about it to make me feel bad. He doesn't want to discuss anything, so talking to him is impossible.

We broke up a few months ago but got back together. He moved all his stuff out, so now he makes me feel guilty, telling me he has nothing and our house doesn't feel like his anymore. By the way, he doesn't pay for rent or household expenses like groceries, etc. I pay for everything because he doesn't work. Yet I have to give him money for his gambling addiction.

I don't want to be with him anymore. But the last time we broke up, he was terribly verbally abusive, and I don't want to go through that again. What should I do? -- INDECISIVE IN ILLINOIS

DEAR INDECISIVE: Tell him you no longer want to be his sugar mama; he will have to find someone else to feed him and finance his gambling addiction. Do NOT do it while the two of you are alone. Make sure to have several friends or relatives with you for moral support and to help him collect whatever things he has at your place. If you do, it may curb his verbal abuse. After that, change the locks on your doors and do not admit him to the house again. If he forces his way in, summon the police. If you don't rid yourself of him, he will suck you dry.

DEAR ABBY: My in-laws live 90 minutes away, so when they visit, they usually stay with us for a night or two. I don't mind hosting them. They are delightful people, and we always have a good time. However, now that they're getting older, I'm wondering what the etiquette is for sleeping arrangements.

We don't have a guest bedroom, so they sleep on a pullout sofa with a pillow topper. While they've never mentioned it, I know it's not all that comfy, and I know they have some age-related aches and pains. When my grandparents stayed with us when I was a kid, they usually slept in my sister's double bed, and she slept on the floor in the room I shared with my other sister.

Would offering my in-laws my son's double bed be a good idea going forward? (Something about offering the master bedroom seems weird.) I'm fortunate to have great in-laws and would like to do right by them. It's just a night or two, after all. What would you recommend I do? -- COMFORT CREATURE IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR COMFORT CREATURE: Ask your in-laws whether they would be more comfortable if you changed their sleeping arrangements. If they say yes, have a chat with your son, explain the problem and tell him you want him to sleep on the pullout sofa bed when his grandparents are visiting.