DEAR ABBY: I grew up in a big lower-class family in which there has always been drama, fights, gossip, etc. I made a vow to myself that when I had my own family, I would raise them better. I keep myself and my children distanced from all of that. Am I wrong for keeping them away from my family? I don't like drama or problems. Sometimes I miss my family, but after a while, I get overwhelmed. -- SEPARATE IN CHICAGO

DEAR SEPARATE: As a parent, your responsibility is to protect your children. If you feel exposing them to something might be harmful, you are within your rights to keep them away. However, if you are raising your children in a healthy environment, exposing them to your family drama in limited doses isn't likely to be harmful. Afterward, if your relatives behaved badly, use it as a teaching moment. Use them as a "bad example" and point out that in YOUR family, you do not behave that way.

DEAR ABBY: I am a single man who recently turned 40. I am looking to find a wife who, like myself, has never been married and has no kids. I joined several dating websites, but most of the women are divorced or widowed or have kids.

I just discovered a new dating website for single, never married people. I'm not sure if I should join it, but having a website designed for people like me is a great idea. I have read that 25% of all Americans have never been married. Pew Research just reported a brand-new poll and millions of Americans have never been married, so I am not losing hope. Should I join? -- CONTEMPLATING IN FLORIDA

DEAR CONTEMPLATING: By all means, explore that new dating site. When you do, expect to meet women who are considerably younger than you. Remember, however, that once you connect, you will have to take all of the precautions that people on other sites do to ensure that you do not get misled. Dating, regardless of how you meet someone, can be risky. I wish you luck.

DEAR ABBY: I have a neighbor who lives across the street. She's in her late 70s. We've been friendly until recently, when she came to visit with me for coffee. We talked about many different things that day. She had brought me a present and homemade cookies, which was nice.

When I mentioned something that apparently she didn't like or believe, she stood up, announced that she didn't come over to feel "uncomfortable" and left in a huff! I emailed her and sent a handwritten apology, but she hasn't spoken to me since. What should I do with her unopened gift and cookies? I don't feel comfortable accepting them. -- DAZED AND CONFUSED

DEAR D & C: How sad that your neighbor wasn't able to tell you what it was you said that made her so uncomfortable she felt she had to end the relationship. (Perhaps you could have straightened it out at the time.) However, her decision seems to have been made, and you will have to accept it. Because you now feel uncomfortable accepting them, return her gift and the cookies.

DEAR ABBY: I am 34 and recently found out I have started menopause. I knew it might come early for me because most of the women in my family began in their 30s and were done by 50. I have no biological children and now probably never will. I guess I waited too long for the right time, the right person, etc. I was always careful to use birth control when I became sexually active and never left it up to my partner.

I am now having a hard time coping with this feeling of loss. I know I shouldn't be grieving something I never had, but I find myself tearing up thinking about it. I'm angry at myself for missing out on it. I have been married to a wonderful man for almost two years, but we have been together for 10. I wanted to be married and financially stable before having children.

I feel like I'm being punished. My poor husband takes the brunt of my frustrations and anger, which isn't fair, and I apologize when it happens, but I find myself slowly drifting into isolation because of it. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm sad, angry, frustrated and empty. I wish I had an answer or anyone who understands to just hear me. Any advice? -- GRIEVING IN OREGON

DEAR GRIEVING: Your feelings are understandable. It's time to seek counseling for help to stop blaming yourself or your husband and cope with your feelings of sadness, anger and frustration. Once that is done, it may be time to consider your options for fulfilling your maternal instincts. These include fostering, adoption, surrogacy and volunteer mentoring. Please consider them.

DEAR ABBY: Three years ago, I discovered I was being excluded by my co-workers. I have tried to not let it bother me, but it's starting to wear me down emotionally. I work in a dental office with a staff of seven women. I have worked with two of them for almost 20 years, and I always thought we had a friendship because we would go to lunch together and occasionally do things outside of work.

Three years ago, I learned they have a group chat with two of the other women and have gotten together outside of work and didn't include me. What bothers me most is they laugh and talk in front of me about the funny memes and videos they send each other.

I'm tired of being excluded, and I don't understand why they have done it. We all get along, so I'm not sure why this is happening. Any advice on what I should say or do? -- APART IN ILLINOIS

DEAR APART: Folks are entitled to socialize (or not) with anyone they would like after work. However, to treat you the way they have been seems insensitive, bordering on rude, and you have every right to say so the next time it happens. It may lead to a "difficult" discussion, but you have a right to tell them how it affects you. Do not depend upon your co-workers to be personal friends, which may not be possible. I encourage you to cultivate social relationships outside the office from now on.

DEAR ABBY: Years ago, my spouse's friend "Valerie" invited us to lunch. I had never met her, but had previous contact with her through email. Valerie clearly did not like me. We sat over lunch for four hours, and during that time, although she sat across from me, she never looked at me, never spoke to me and never acknowledged my presence. It was humiliating and dehumanizing. Since we live in a different state, it was clear to me we would not be meeting again.

Well, Valerie has now renewed contact with my spouse through letters and emails, reestablishing old ties. I have asked her to not let Valerie back into our lives. I'm upset that she has accepted contact after how Valerie treated me. My spouse hasn't addressed Valerie's behavior, and at the time of the incident, I was asked to just let it go, which I did.

Now that Valerie has resurfaced, contacting only my spouse and addressing cards only to my spouse, it's clear the "game is on" once again. My spouse has not supported my feelings and refuses to acknowledge Valerie's rudeness during that luncheon visit.

I do not want to be friends with this person. My spouse has made clear she intends to remain in contact with this person and is not going to bring up "old dirt" with her. Am I wrong for asking her to forgo this friendship and not let this person back into our lives? -- UNACKNOWLEDGED IN OREGON

DEAR UNACKNOWLEDGED: No, you are not wrong. Ask your spouse why she is nurturing a relationship with Valerie and, if she would like to end your relationship, to please say so now because you feel threatened by what Valerie is doing. It's honest, and if your fears are true, it is better to know now.

DEAR ABBY: I've been seeing a man for about a year. For the most part, we get along fine. We spend a lot of time together, and he professes his love for me. His intentions are to be together forever, although there has not been a proposal. I think I could continue this relationship indefinitely.

There's just one thing: I'm not physically attracted to him. He is presentable and well-groomed, but it can't compensate for the fact that he is homely. I am, to put it plainly, a beautiful woman. I have always dated "in my league."

I am trying hard not to be shallow, but this bothers me greatly. Sometimes I'm just disgusted. I know we'll both age, but until then, he'll still be ugly. I do have feelings for him, so should I try harder to overlook his defects? -- TORN ABOUT HIM IN NEVADA

DEAR TORN: No! For both your sakes, please don't do that. The man you are writing about deserves someone who is more focused on inner qualities than you seem capable of. Forcing yourself to like him should not be necessary. Because this bothers you so much, do both of yourselves a favor and let him go.