DEAR ABBY: My brother (eight years younger) has been hooked on drugs and in and out of jail for decades. Our father passed away five years ago. My brother lived with him in a different state until then. Prior to that, he stole from our mother and from me repeatedly.

He's a criminal and is currently in jail. When he's not in jail, he is homeless. Of course, the only time we hear from him is when he needs money. To top it off, my special-needs son recently passed away. Of course, my wife and I are devastated, although we have come to terms with the fact that he is in a better place.

With my brother back in jail, the focus has gone back to him. I have always tried to be a good brother, but I have now completely washed my hands of him. At this point, I need peace in my life, and as long as he is in mine, I will never have it. This crushes my mother, but it's how I feel. Right or wrong, I don't feel that just because someone is family, it gives them the right to make others miserable. I would love to know your thoughts on this. -- BETTER BROTHER IN FLORIDA

DEAR BROTHER: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your beloved son. That you feel you cannot handle the added stress of interacting with or supporting your drug-addicted brother (who has stolen from you) is understandable.

Do not allow your mother to guilt you into doing anything with which you are uncomfortable. If your mother decides to take him in when he's released, caution her to first remove any items of value from her home.

DEAR ABBY: Four years ago, a former friend, "Karla," offered me a nice oak side chair of hers. Karla said she had no use for it and assured me she wouldn't want it back. I accepted the chair and have used it since then.

When it was given to me, the back cushion was missing and the seat cushion was hard. After a couple of years, I bought nice fabric and had the chair repaired and reupholstered. It cost me $175. If I had thought the chair was on loan only, I wouldn't have done that. I sent her a pic of the finished improvements, and she replied that it looked nice.

A year later, she abruptly ended our friendship. She was angry with me because I had confused her airport arrival time and she had to wait an hour. Twice I apologized profusely, but Karla has not responded. (That was 14 months ago.)

Ten days ago, I received a text from one of her friends, telling me Karla wants me to return the chair she "let me borrow." The friend wanted to know when I could deliver it. I'm completely taken aback. She gave it to me! What is your take on this pickle? -- BAFFLED IN TEXAS

DEAR BAFFLED: Ignore the text. If Karla wants the chair returned, she should ask you herself. If she does, and if you agree to it, be sure she repays in cash the money you spent to have the chair refurbished.

DEAR ABBY: It seems I am a human landfill into which people dump their trauma. I'm not sure how this happened. It started three years ago, when an estranged friend called me and talked for more than an hour about what had led to him getting fired from his job. I was touched that he had reached out, and I expected us to resume our friendship, but he wasn't interested in much more communication.

Later, a work acquaintance invited me to lunch and began unloading the awful trauma she had endured 40 years ago. It was a one-way conversation, with not even enough pause for me to politely reaffirm what was being said. We never spoke after that because I left the company.

Now, a new co-worker I haven't made any personal connection with calls me a few times a week to "trauma dump." I try to change the subject, but her stories of abuse and peril never stop. In fact, I can put her on speaker phone while I loudly go about my business at home, and she'll continue talking. When she finally has had enough, she then abruptly ends the call.

I finally decided I'm done answering her calls. What can I do to ensure I am no longer seen as the trauma landfill? -- DONE WITH IT IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR DONE: This keeps happening because you are a caring, empathetic and polite person who has the patience to allow these people to dump on you. The next time it starts to happen, say this: "This must have been terrible, but I am not equipped to advise you about it. This is something that should be addressed by talking to a therapist" (or, in the case of the former co-worker who called you, HR). After that, be less available.

DEAR ABBY: Last year, a dear friend was attacked by dogs and killed. My family enjoys hiking on public trails. Lately, however, our walks have not been enjoyable. I become nervous and very upset whenever I encounter dogs off-leash. I usually end up expressing my fear and asking the owner to put their dogs on a leash.

My 16-year-old daughter is not comfortable when I do this. Her view is that the owners have trained their dogs well enough to be off leash. I disagree. I tell her that animals are unpredictable, and I am speaking out because my friend was killed by dogs. Please help us understand the best way to handle this situation which ends up in conflict. -- WALKING SCARED IN WISCONSIN

DEAR WALKING: Your daughter's view is naive. Although the majority of dog owners are responsible and socialize and train their pets, not all of them do so, and the result can be tragic. Your friend's death is an example.

When your daughter decides to hike, she should always have someone with her, and carry pepper spray or gel to ward off a (possible) attack not only by canines but also humans. (Sorry, that's a reality these days.) As for you, you might be better off emotionally if, for the time being, you get your cardio exercise on a treadmill in a gym or at home.

DEAR ABBY: I need a second opinion. My grandfather sold me an old farmstead that has been in the family for 200 years. Last week, he showed me a wooded area behind the barn with a human skull. He told me that when his father died more than 50 years ago, he was curious about how long it would take a body to decompose, so he left his body in the woods to keep track of its progress. He has 50 years' worth of pictures and notes. He told the rest of the family that Great-Grandpa had been cremated, and apparently no one questioned him about the ashes.

At this point, the skull is all that's left. I checked with a lawyer, who tells me that in my state no laws were broken. That said, I don't want my great-grandfather's skull sitting in the woods behind my barn! My husband says I should quietly bury it, burn the pictures and the notes and forget about it. That just doesn't feel right to me.

It feels like I'm helping my grandfather get away with something and it feels "icky." Should I tell the rest of the family, or continue allowing them to believe that Great-Granddad was cremated? I'm resenting my grandfather for putting me in the middle of this, and any advice you have would be greatly appreciated. -- BOUGHT MORE THAN I BARGAINED FOR

DEAR BARGAINED: Your letter is a first. Why do I get the impression that your grandfather must have HATED his father to have treated his remains so disrespectfully? The farmstead and everything that goes with it is yours now to keep or dispose of.

What you need to do is decide whether to donate your great-grandfather's skull to a medical or dental school (or coven?), place it in a columbarium or bury it on your property. As to whether to tell the rest of the family, what positive thing would be accomplished by sharing this unpleasantness with them? You are a caring individual; let your conscience be your guide.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a full-figured 25-year-old woman who lives at home. My family has three dogs. Every night, I go into my mother and father's bedroom to pick up the youngest one to hold for a few minutes and say goodnight. The dog likes to sleep closer to the middle of the bed, so I need to bend over to reach the dog. When I bend over, my mother gives me a "look" because she says my shirt starts to reveal my body and I should be "mindful" of my dad.

I wear long T-shirts, long pants, and sometimes bras when I'm around the house because I'm trying to be mindful of my dad and younger brother. I want to be free to not think I need to cover up when I'm doing something small like picking up the dog. Dad is a good man. He has never disrespected me in any way as I matured into a woman, so my mother's extra "carefulness" bothers me. What should I do? -- JUST WANT MY DOG

DEAR JUST WANT: Because at 25 you are still living under your mother's roof, you should respect her wishes. Once you get a place of your own, you can bounce around as much as you wish.