DEAR ABBY: I am trying to come to terms with the passing of my wife, "Charlotte," a month ago. Many old friends and family have been supportive. What hurts, in addition to my grief, is the silence from a particular couple.

For years, we were very close with this family when we both had young boys growing up. We celebrated all the joys and life-changing events together, including going out to dinner every Friday and vacationing together. Once our boys were on their own, we gradually saw less and less of the couple, but still kept in touch occasionally.

When Charlotte passed, they were two of the first people I notified. They were out of town at the time, so I postponed her memorial a day so they could attend. I felt they were so important to us that they should be there.

I have not heard one word from this couple! They live a mile away, and I haven't received a dinner invitation or even a phone call. I'm shocked by their lack of caring, knowing I am home alone and devastated over Charlotte's passing. A simple phone call to ask how I'm doing would be helpful. What do you think about this? -- ABANDONED IN NEW YORK

DEAR ABANDONED: I am sorry for the loss of your wife. Because it is so recent, your pain must be overwhelming. Regarding this couple, I suspect that once your sons were grown, their friendship with you was already on the wane.

While it would have been compassionate for them to have stepped up when they received the news of your wife's passing, they (as many other people) may not have known what to say or do, so they did nothing.

If you wish to talk with them, by all means, call them. But when you do, do not expect them to offer more than cursory condolences. Concentrate instead on the friends who have shown they are willing to be there for you.

DEAR ABBY: I met a man online and have been dating him off and on for the past four years. His parents have been living with him since the pandemic, and I have yet to be invited to his home or to meet them. He is from Bolivia and says his parents want him to marry a Catholic Bolivian girl -- and someone without children. I am divorced, American and the mother of two.

He tells me he's afraid that if I meet them, our relationship will be over. He keeps saying they are moving back to Bolivia, but they are still here. I also have never met his friends. He says he never does anything with his friends, between his parents living with him and studying for his architectural exams. After all these years, I have yet to meet one of his friends. What should I do? -- OFF THE RADAR IN WISCONSIN

DEAR OFF THE RADAR: Recognize that this man may not have been entirely truthful with you about his circumstances. Bluntly put, he may be married, or he may not be who he has represented himself to be in other aspects of his life. Because your relationship hasn't progressed after four years of dating (off and on), what you should do is move on.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in a sexless 25-year marriage. It was not always this way, but any intimacy has been over for more than a decade. My wife's libido has waned, which I understand. What she does do is continually bring up issues about me from years ago as if they were yesterday.

I have my faults, like lack of communication and shutting down, which I have objectively thought about a great deal and tried to make things right. I'm not violent, I don't use drugs or abuse alcohol. She remains adamant in her distrust of me and punishes me by withholding all forms of intimacy.

We attended marriage counseling, where I listened to her and acknowledged my issues for redress. She, on the other hand, justifies her actions and behaviors. She has her own failings but doesn't want to hear how much her actions have hurt me. She also didn't listen to the counselor and will not hold herself accountable.

I feel so lonely. She thinks a lack of intimacy is fine for a marriage, and this is frustrating to me. I have brought this up to her numerous times, but she will not be moved. I could use your counsel on this. -- LONELY MAN IN GEORGIA

DEAR LONELY MAN: You tried counseling; counseling failed. Lack of intimacy (of any kind) is not "fine" for a marriage. Call an attorney and set yourself free.

DEAR ABBY: During my 30s (I am now mid-70s), I did some nude modeling for several reputable photographers, which resulted in some lovely portraits. A few of them have been framed and hang on my bedroom wall.

My family members are aware of them, but they are very religious (which I am not), so I don't know how to dispose of them. Should I try to sell them, and if so, how? Should I bequeath them to someone, or should they be left for my estate executor to deal with? What to do? -- PORTRAITS IN THE SOUTH

DEAR PORTRAITS: Definitely discuss this with your executor well before the need arises. If the photographers are well-known, go online and find out if there's a market for their work. Offer the portraits for sale and see if there is any interest. You could also bequeath them to an "open-minded" relative or friend. I wish you luck.

DEAR ABBY: In a response to "Ganged Up On" (Dec. 23), you stated that it is against the law to hit a child in California. It was in response to a woman whose mother-in-law spanked her grandchild. I was born in California and lived there more than 50 years, and I believe you misinterpreted the penal code.

It is not illegal to spank in California. It is illegal to use excessive force, or to cause traumatic injury when doing it. I don't personally believe that a child should be hit, but it is not "illegal." In fact, corporal punishment, not abuse, is legal in every state in the U.S. -- DENISE E. IN NEVADA

DEAR DENISE: Mea culpa. I stand corrected. You are not the only reader I heard from after printing that answer. Thank you for straightening me out about this.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a soft-spoken person. I work in a medical laboratory, and I am finally speaking up for what I believe in (after years of social anxiety and depression). At the last meeting, when asked by the manager for suggestions to improve the lab workflow, I spoke up.

Fast-forward to tonight. When I expressed some excitement about my idea, the site leader, a different manager, shot my idea down, saying, "It's not going to make a difference." This isn't the first time she has made me feel like my ideas are dumb or that I'm not intelligent, and I snapped. I asked her what ideas she had, and she looked as if I offended her, but she's done this numerous times since she came here. Meanwhile, she has her favorite person in the lab who gets away with murder.

Was I wrong for getting upset at her? I just feel like my suggestions go unnoticed or are scoffed at, but when another person comes up with something similar, she applauds them. -- HAD ENOUGH IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR HAD ENOUGH: Blowing up at the manager may have felt good at the moment after years of silence caused by depression and social anxiety, but it was the wrong thing to do. That kind of behavior does not belong in a professional environment. Favoritism happens in many work environments, and it can be frustrating. If you can't find a way to accept it, you might be happier working at a different lab.

DEAR ABBY: My stepdaughter has two children. She married a man who has one child, "Hayley." They have been married four years, and Hayley turned 18 last year. We have seen her only five or six times, and she seems uninterested in getting to know us.

The first Christmas, I went out of my way to give her gifts I thought she would enjoy as a teenager. The next Christmas, she didn't spend any time with the family, so I sent a gift home with her dad, but never heard a word from her.

Last year, Hayley graduated from high school and started working. Because we weren't going to see them at Christmas, I sent the other grandchildren gifts but did not include Hayley. My stepdaughter got upset because we left Hayley out. We explained that 1. She never acknowledges the gifts we send; 2. She is now an adult; and 3. We never see her. Are we wrong not to include her? -- PERPLEXED ABOUT STEPFAMILY ETIQUETTE

DEAR PERPLEXED: The answer to your question is yes and no. Hayley doesn't appear to be a "child" who is easy to love. She has certainly given you no reason to. However, in the interest of family harmony, it was wrong to exclude her entirely. Not knowing the young woman, it would be hard to know what she might have liked to receive. Next year, send her a coffee shop gift card with a sweet note so she won't feel she is being ignored as she has ignored you.

TO MY MUSLIM READERS: At sundown, it is time for the breaking of the Ramadan fast. Happy Eid al-Fitr, everyone. -- LOVE, ABBY