DEAR ABBY: My niece, "Elle," and her husband, "Liam," have been self-employed for 20 years, but due to the economy, Liam decided to go into the workforce. He is now employed at a state job with great pay and benefits for them and their four children.

Our family is elated for him and his family, except Elle. It's unbelievable how determined she is to get her husband fired. She can't stand for Liam to be away from her. She fights daily with him, telling him he has "chosen a job over his family." They were always a nice family unit, but now Elle is destroying it because of the insecure, overbearing control she needs to have. It's heartbreaking to see, especially since their teenage kids are looking for other places to sleep due to the constant arguments.

I wish I could make Elle understand that this job means they will no longer be struggling financially, but she doesn't care. She wants to be near Liam at all times. The situation is awful. I can't believe they may end up in divorce court because her husband got a great state job. Your thoughts on this, please? -- HELPLESS IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR HELPLESS: I think your niece's insecurity and insistence on having her husband on a short leash at all times is unhealthy, to say the least. She needs professional help, and Liam should insist upon it. If she refuses, he will then have to decide whether the current status of their marriage is something he wants to tolerate for the foreseeable future and plan his next steps accordingly.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I retired six years ago and moved from California to Texas. I have two grown sons, and my husband has two grown daughters still living in Cali. My husband's oldest daughter (50) just came to visit along with her 10-year-old daughter.

On the Sunday they were to leave, my husband was to take them to the airport in the morning and leave me home to read my Sunday paper. Before they left, his daughter wanted a picture of all of us together. I told her I didn't want a picture taken in my nightgown, but she said it would be only from the neck up. I acquiesced, and she took the shot.

Two days later, former clients of mine from California posted on Facebook how glad they were to see me look so happy in retirement. My husband showed me the Facebook posting of me from the waist up in my nightgown on his daughter's page!

I don't go on Facebook, I don't want my likeness on Facebook, and I'm not happy that after expressing my feelings about having my picture taken in my nightgown, his daughter put me on Facebook. Isn't it common decency to ask someone before arbitrarily posting their picture on Facebook? -- NOT HAPPY IN TEXAS

DEAR NOT HAPPY: I am going to assume that your husband's daughter didn't post the family picture on her page to inflame you. She may have forgotten her promise to you. Because this isn't the impression of your happy retirement you want to convey, ask her to take it down and hope she complies. If she doesn't, do not pose for any more family pictures when she's behind the camera.

DEAR ABBY: I am a gay man who matched with another guy on a dating site two years ago this month. At first, we texted constantly. No one has ever made me feel the way he made me feel through texting alone. He displayed qualities that set him apart from anyone else I have talked to. We made a date, but he canceled at the last minute because of cold feet. He requested more time to get to know each other before meeting.

For the past two years, we have continued to message each other, though not nearly as often. He says he very much wants to meet, but says he's intimidated by my accomplishments in life and is convinced I won't like him. (Abby, he is more accomplished than most of the guys I date.)

I have tried desperately to convince him to meet me so we may both find out if we are a good match. In the meantime, I continue to date other guys because I want to find someone to share my life with. But I refuse to put my life on hold in a vain hope that we might someday meet.

However, my desire to meet him overshadows most of my attempts to date others. His statements that he badly wants to meet me but is afraid to do so is incredibly frustrating. Should I block him from contacting me further so I might focus on looking for someone else? Or should I keep doing what I've been doing? -- FRUSTRATED IN KENTUCKY

DEAR FRUSTRATED: There may be a logical reason why this relationship has not progressed. The man with whom you are communicating may not at all be who he says he is. Because you have invested so much time and emotion in trying to meet him, offer him one more chance to meet.

Tell him that if he can't bring himself to do that, you are ending the relationship and will block him from contacting you further. Then follow through. Consider it to be taking a giant step forward in your life. You deserve better than the teasing you have been receiving.

DEAR ABBY: It seems that doctors' offices have it set up to automatically send you emails and/or text messages to confirm your appointments. It is convenient, but they send them repeatedly, starting a week or two prior to the appointment. Why? It seems like overkill to me. Once should be enough, unless they feel we're unable to remember when we have an appointment.

Before the internet, we made our next appointments, if required, at the doctor's office upon leaving and were given a card showing date and time. That was all we got! You marked it on your calendar at home, and life went on. Abby, do you agree with my frustration? -- BLUNT GUY IN NEVADA

DEAR BLUNT GUY: No, I do not. Sometimes folks forget to enter that information into their calendar and the result is that the medical and dental professionals get stood up. If the reminders become annoying, you can always delete them when they pop up. If this is your biggest problem, consider yourself lucky.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have dated for seven months. We have a good relationship in terms of compatibility. We are both Christian and educated, and we have good professions. We are fun-loving and both of us like to invest and travel. He enjoys my company and says I am the girl with the best qualities he's ever dated.

But I do have one issue: He stays in close contact with his former on-and-off girlfriend of 10 years and other women he dated. When I asked him about it, he said he cares about other people and likes to keep in touch with them.

An example: Last year when he was single, he wanted to take his long-term ex-girlfriend out for a day trip, dinner and a musical so she could get away from her apartment. Her daughter and grandkids, who were living with her, made her life very tough. My boyfriend and this ex also text each other often to keep up with each other's family and life.

I feel uneasy about this. Wouldn't most women? To me, if you don't think a relationship is working, you should stop seeing each other so you don't cause more confusion or stir up more emotion. How should I deal with this? I like this guy a lot and really think we have something going. -- SHARING HIM IN TEXAS

DEAR SHARING HIM: When people end long-term relationships, they don't all do it in the same way. Some of them have a dramatic blowup and never speak to the person again. Others remain friends for many years.

If your boyfriend's former flame has an adult daughter and grandkids, none of you are inexperienced kids yourselves. If you really want a future with him, you may have to accept that he won't be happy if you try to curtail his social contacts. If you can't summon up enough self-confidence to manage that, perhaps you should find someone else.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 68-year-old married man with no close friends. I worked for 35 years in my family-owned bar and restaurant, until they lost it. After that, I worked as an assistant manager in a few fast-food places, then as an assistant manager in a major pharmacy.

At 65, after three knee surgeries and a foot fusion, I retired from working full time. I now work part time for a physical therapy center, mostly to keep busy and make a few bucks. I have no hobbies or major interests. I have a few health issues, which are under control.

I feel lonely most of the time. I know a lot of people and get along with people -- I just feel lonely. I have two sons I'm very proud of who have families of their own, but they're busy with their lives. I have no one to talk to who won't judge me for feeling the way I do. Can you give me any direction of where to turn? -- A BIT LONELY IN THE EAST

DEAR LONELY: You say you are married. Is it a happy marriage? You also have part-time employment. These are things to be grateful for. Your persistent loneliness may be something to mention to your doctors. The problem could be emotional, spiritual, existential or physical, or it may simply be boredom. But the place to start would be a doctor or a spiritual adviser to help you get to the bottom of this.