DEAR ABBY: I'm a professional, well-educated adult who moved back home because of concerns about my father's health as well as having landed a much better job. As an extra perk, I've been able to save money to pay toward my student loans, as well as spoil my parents a bit as they grow older.

I recently gifted my parents (for the second time) their dream vacation. They loved it the first time and never imagined they'd be able to do it twice. Because my parents still have a minor child who cannot remain alone, I am choosing, as I did last time, to use my personal vacation time to babysit. My mother has been planning the details of her upcoming trip and has now asked me to take more time off work so they can have a road trip after their vacation.

Abby, I am already draining every bit of my time off for their weeklong vacation and will not be able to have a vacation myself until later in the year when I accrue more time. I know she's requesting this to make the trip more fun for my father. Although I am a generous and patient person, this has left me feeling almost speechless, a bit unappreciated and frustrated. Am I overreacting? Should I find a way to extend their trip? -- LIMITED IN OHIO

DEAR LIMITED: The answer to both of your questions is NO. Your mother apparently doesn't appreciate how generous you have been in providing these vacations for her and your father. If she wants to extend their holiday, she should make her own arrangements for your sibling to be supervised if she and your dad won't be available to do it themselves. Shame on her for trying to foist that responsibility onto you.

DEAR ABBY: I lost my darling wife recently. Her death was a shock to everyone. She was placed on life support for a short period while the medical staff performed tests to determine the extent of her injuries. When it became apparent that she would spend the rest of her life in a vegetative state, no decisions had to be made by her family or by me.

My wife had an advance directive in place stating she did not want to remain living in this condition. I was extremely fortunate in that no one in her family wanted to contest the document. As hard as it was for me to discontinue life support, I knew it was what she wanted. She passed peacefully, quietly and quickly.

Abby, please encourage your readers to make the time and make the effort to have an advance directive drawn up, whatever their desires may be. It was my wife's last gift to me, and I will be forever grateful for it. -- REMEMBERING HER IN ARIZONA

DEAR REMEMBERING HER: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your wife. I appreciate you taking the time to share this important information with my readers and me. Your letter serves as a reminder that all end-of-life documents should be reviewed regularly to be sure they reflect one's current thinking.

DEAR ABBY: My niece, "Elle," and her husband, "Liam," have been self-employed for 20 years, but due to the economy, Liam decided to go into the workforce. He is now employed at a state job with great pay and benefits for them and their four children.

Our family is elated for him and his family, except Elle. It's unbelievable how determined she is to get her husband fired. She can't stand for Liam to be away from her. She fights daily with him, telling him he has "chosen a job over his family." They were always a nice family unit, but now Elle is destroying it because of the insecure, overbearing control she needs to have. It's heartbreaking to see, especially since their teenage kids are looking for other places to sleep due to the constant arguments.

I wish I could make Elle understand that this job means they will no longer be struggling financially, but she doesn't care. She wants to be near Liam at all times. The situation is awful. I can't believe they may end up in divorce court because her husband got a great state job. Your thoughts on this, please? -- HELPLESS IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR HELPLESS: I think your niece's insecurity and insistence on having her husband on a short leash at all times is unhealthy, to say the least. She needs professional help, and Liam should insist upon it. If she refuses, he will then have to decide whether the current status of their marriage is something he wants to tolerate for the foreseeable future and plan his next steps accordingly.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I retired six years ago and moved from California to Texas. I have two grown sons, and my husband has two grown daughters still living in Cali. My husband's oldest daughter (50) just came to visit along with her 10-year-old daughter.

On the Sunday they were to leave, my husband was to take them to the airport in the morning and leave me home to read my Sunday paper. Before they left, his daughter wanted a picture of all of us together. I told her I didn't want a picture taken in my nightgown, but she said it would be only from the neck up. I acquiesced, and she took the shot.

Two days later, former clients of mine from California posted on Facebook how glad they were to see me look so happy in retirement. My husband showed me the Facebook posting of me from the waist up in my nightgown on his daughter's page!

I don't go on Facebook, I don't want my likeness on Facebook, and I'm not happy that after expressing my feelings about having my picture taken in my nightgown, his daughter put me on Facebook. Isn't it common decency to ask someone before arbitrarily posting their picture on Facebook? -- NOT HAPPY IN TEXAS

DEAR NOT HAPPY: I am going to assume that your husband's daughter didn't post the family picture on her page to inflame you. She may have forgotten her promise to you. Because this isn't the impression of your happy retirement you want to convey, ask her to take it down and hope she complies. If she doesn't, do not pose for any more family pictures when she's behind the camera.

DEAR ABBY: I am a gay man who matched with another guy on a dating site two years ago this month. At first, we texted constantly. No one has ever made me feel the way he made me feel through texting alone. He displayed qualities that set him apart from anyone else I have talked to. We made a date, but he canceled at the last minute because of cold feet. He requested more time to get to know each other before meeting.

For the past two years, we have continued to message each other, though not nearly as often. He says he very much wants to meet, but says he's intimidated by my accomplishments in life and is convinced I won't like him. (Abby, he is more accomplished than most of the guys I date.)

I have tried desperately to convince him to meet me so we may both find out if we are a good match. In the meantime, I continue to date other guys because I want to find someone to share my life with. But I refuse to put my life on hold in a vain hope that we might someday meet.

However, my desire to meet him overshadows most of my attempts to date others. His statements that he badly wants to meet me but is afraid to do so is incredibly frustrating. Should I block him from contacting me further so I might focus on looking for someone else? Or should I keep doing what I've been doing? -- FRUSTRATED IN KENTUCKY

DEAR FRUSTRATED: There may be a logical reason why this relationship has not progressed. The man with whom you are communicating may not at all be who he says he is. Because you have invested so much time and emotion in trying to meet him, offer him one more chance to meet.

Tell him that if he can't bring himself to do that, you are ending the relationship and will block him from contacting you further. Then follow through. Consider it to be taking a giant step forward in your life. You deserve better than the teasing you have been receiving.

DEAR ABBY: It seems that doctors' offices have it set up to automatically send you emails and/or text messages to confirm your appointments. It is convenient, but they send them repeatedly, starting a week or two prior to the appointment. Why? It seems like overkill to me. Once should be enough, unless they feel we're unable to remember when we have an appointment.

Before the internet, we made our next appointments, if required, at the doctor's office upon leaving and were given a card showing date and time. That was all we got! You marked it on your calendar at home, and life went on. Abby, do you agree with my frustration? -- BLUNT GUY IN NEVADA

DEAR BLUNT GUY: No, I do not. Sometimes folks forget to enter that information into their calendar and the result is that the medical and dental professionals get stood up. If the reminders become annoying, you can always delete them when they pop up. If this is your biggest problem, consider yourself lucky.