DEAR ABBY: The first Christmas my future husband and I were dating, he gave me an angel ring. I asked him to take me to a bar where my best friend worked so I could show it to her. When I showed it to her, she told me her cancer had come back. I gave her the ring and told her to hang onto it, hoping it would give her the strength to fight another round.

Twenty years later, she became angry with me and wanted to end the friendship. I told her that it was OK and asked her to return the ring. Abby, my entire family saw my husband give it to me. But now she has made up this story about how she had put it on layaway for a year, and it never belonged to me. Even worse is that she played me. She never had cancer in the first place.

While we were at school, her parents emptied their house, except for the contents of her room and disappeared. My mom offered her a home, but she declined. She was into drugs. Yes, she had some tough breaks, but so have a lot of other people, and they haven't stolen or lied to their friends. We had each other's back for 40 years and now this has happened. I am heartbroken. She doesn't seem to care -- the layaway lie is her story and she's sticking to it. What do I do? -- LOST MY RING IN THE SOUTH

DEAR LOST: Accept that the ring is gone. Your drug-addicted "friend" stole it and may have sold it. You may not yet realize it, but you are fortunate that she's now out of your life. You may have thought she had your back, but you were mistaken. She is dishonest and vengeful. If you're looking for friendship, you need to look in another direction. You couldn't do worse than this.

DEAR ABBY: My sister, "Chris," has two adult sons; I have an adult daughter, "Dori." My husband, Dori and I are close and happy. Chris doesn't believe in having only one child and never misses an opportunity to point out to me what a hardship it is to be an only child -- e.g., "It will be so hard on Dori when you die."

Chris doesn't know why we had only one child and I will never discuss such a private decision. It infuriates me every time she implies that we have somehow denied my daughter complete happiness by not providing siblings. Dori has given no indication of being unhappy as an only child. What do you think about this? -- BOTHERED IN NEW YORK

DEAR BOTHERED: I am so glad you asked. Your sister's behavior all these years has been relentless and heartless. For whatever reason, she has it in for you and can't resist the urge to "stick it to you" whenever she sees the chance. I think you should distance yourself from Chris. Some people choose to have only one child and manage to raise a happy and well-adjusted offspring, as you have done. Others have just one child because they cannot have another.

DEAR ABBY: My parents have been divorced for 30 years. It was an unpleasant divorce because Dad had an affair with a woman he worked with and married her soon after. Mom was devastated. She and Dad were high school sweethearts.

Both have moved on from this -- sort of. Dad has since divorced, remarried and divorced again. He's now with a woman he isn't married to, but who is wonderful to him. My mom remarried to a lovely man she knew in high school. But she still talks about my dad and how he hurt her.

I knew about the affair when I was younger and, as I grew older, I discovered there had been many more affairs with other women. Mom takes some responsibility for the divorce. She mentioned that she wasn't always "there" for Dad because she had young children and was tired.

I recently saw my father. He talked about Mom and opened up a new can of worms. He confided that he always wanted to be a "one-woman guy" and have one wife, but not only was my mom rarely "there" for him, but they also didn't have relations for the first two years of their marriage.

Both parents are getting up in age now. Knowing this and the continuous blame game, should I bring this up to Mom the next time she talks about Dad in a negative light or let it go? -- PULLED IN TWO IN FLORIDA

DEAR PULLED: If you bring up what your father told you, it will only stir the pot. Let it go. But before you do, tell your mother you know the divorce was hurtful to both of them, and you would appreciate it if she wouldn't discuss it with you further.

As to your father, he had no business discussing what he did with you. If he brings it up again, remind him that his marriage to your mother was only his first marriage, and you don't want to hear it again because it was inappropriate.

DEAR ABBY: We have a couple we occasionally invite over for games and dessert. For the last several months, they have been asking me if the dessert I've made is from a mix. They are not joking; they are serious. I'm a good cook and baker. They've eaten here often and know I cook from scratch. I try to make something special every time they come. To ask if I used a mix is an insult and very hurtful.

I tried showing them the recipe for whatever dessert I've made for an evening, but it hasn't put the issue to bed. I invite them to our home less often because of this. If it were just me, I'd quit seeing them altogether, but my husband plays golf with the husband, and I don't want to mess that up.

How can I figure out why this started and get them to stop? If I get into it when it happens, it will ruin our evening. -- TRYING TO GET ALONG IN NEVADA

DEAR TRYING: Call the wife and ask her calmly and privately why she and her husband keep doing this. Remind her that she knows darn well that you prepare the food you serve them from scratch, and you are puzzled about why she has been implying that you didn't. Then let her explain.

After that, ask if she and her husband would prefer that, instead of you spending hours in the kitchen before their visits, you simply order pizza and a salad?

DEAR ABBY: I have a 25-year-old niece, "Meadow," who embraces the hippie lifestyle. She's kind and sweet and loves everyone. She has also opposed "the Establishment." She's heavily tattooed and has several facial piercings and thick underarm hair.

My son is the complete opposite. He is in the business world and is very professional in his manner and dress. He's getting married in three months to a lovely girl. Meadow is invited because she wanted to come. My son is nervous about her coming to the wedding. He doesn't know Meadow that well. They were close as kids but haven't seen much of each other in adulthood.

My son is worried Meadow will wear an outfit that will display the tattoos and her bushy underarm hair. He's afraid she will be a spectacle, and her appearance will become the focus of the wedding and not his lovely bride. He's also worried someone will ridicule or comment about Meadow, and he will then have to defend her, causing a disruption. None of us are close to Meadow or feel comfortable with her appearance. How do we handle her presence at the wedding? -- CONFORMING IN CAROLINA

DEAR CONFORMING: Excuse me. Who invited this counter-culture cousin to the wedding? The time to have raised these issues was before the invitations were sent out. If Meadow is already invited, it would be terrible to disinvite her.

If someone comments on her appearance, I'm sure it won't be the first time she has heard it. If it happens, resist the urge to rush to her defense. Simply explain calmly that Meadow is there because she's family. (It's the truth.) As to her upstaging your son's bride, that won't happen if Meadow is seated at a distance from the altar.

DEAR ABBY: I've been regularly attending exercise classes that are offered with the membership at my gym. One of the classes I particularly enjoy is taught by a very good instructor who is friendly and welcoming. She makes a point of speaking to everyone in attendance.

I have noticed over the last few weeks she has become decidedly unfriendly toward me. She avoids speaking to me, even though she speaks to everyone else in the class. This has been upsetting, and I realize I'm becoming depressed about it. I am not aware of anything I have done to provoke this.

Should I ask her if there was something I did to offend? Should I say nothing and continue attending her classes? Or should I just join other classes that are offered at my gym? I occasionally see her participating in other exercise classes I attend, and sometimes we are in the gym working out at the same time. -- ALIENATED GYM GUY IN GEORGIA

DEAR GYM GUY: I am a firm believer in the adage, "seek and ye shall find." Because this teacher seems to have cooled to you and you alone, pose that question. Then be prepared for an honest answer.