DEAR ABBY: I am a lesbian who recently experienced heartbreak by falling in love with my mentor and boss. I didn't want it to happen, but it did. The time we spent together was a balance of bliss and fear. My heart and soul feel that she feels the same way about me. I left my job because my feelings for her became so overwhelming, I could no longer cope.

She knows how I feel about her, and she has shown interest in me in the past. She is not gay, but I do know of straight women who have fallen in love with one woman in their lives. We have a 15-year age difference. That doesn't matter to me. I'm absolutely crazy about her. I dream about our Victorian home together and a beautiful garden and life. I want nothing else but to make her happy for the rest of her life, make her breakfast every morning and beautiful dinners every night.

We are no longer communicating, upon her request. I want to heal my heart and live my life. It's so hard to let go of her, but I know I should. On the other hand, something tells me I should wait for her. How can I move forward and find the love I deserve in this life? -- CRUSHED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CRUSHED: If you really want to find the love you know you deserve, then you are going to have to find someone who is ready and willing to provide it. This person is not. She was interested in you only as a friend and an employee. Asking you to stop communicating with her was a strong message.

It may take time and even psychological counseling to help you disengage from your fantasy of an idealized life with this woman. But for the sake of your sanity, it's important that you try.

DEAR ABBY: My son got his girlfriend pregnant. She already has a 7-year-old by another man. Her mother kicked her and the baby out right after the baby was born. She had no other place to go, so I had her, her child and my grandbaby stay with my husband and me. What a big mistake that was!

All we asked of her was to clean up a little bit around the house. She lives here rent-free. She buys her food and will cook sometimes for herself and her children, but she leaves the pots and pans and dishes for me to do. She won't lift a finger to do any other household chores. She works only part time, and I watch both kids when my son can't. Am I wrong to be angry that she won't help out? -- DOING IT ALL IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR DOING IT: I'm glad you asked. This appears to be an example of "no good deed goes unpunished." That said, you are wrong to be angry at your son's girlfriend. You should be angry at yourself for tolerating her selfish behavior.

She and your son should be working toward being independent. They are a family now. Lay down the law to your son and this young woman. Tell them exactly what you expect of both of them -- and that if they don't comply, they will have to make other living arrangements. Then enforce the rules. If you do, you will be doing all of you a favor.

DEAR ABBY: My husband rarely says "thank you" and almost never apologizes for anything. The other day, I was at an office party to which family members were not invited. I brought home a plate of food for my husband, for which he refused to thank me when I hinted that a "thanks" might be nice, especially since it was dinnertime.

The office "lunch" had been hours ago, and I had brought nothing for myself. He said because I hadn't come home when I said I would, he didn't feel the need to thank me. When I told him it's common courtesy to thank people, he continued arguing and eventually threw the plate of food across the room. Now he won't apologize for that either. He feels he was justified in throwing the food.

Abby, my husband is a college professor and well-educated, yet he often overlooks common courtesy. He usually walks fast and ahead of me when we're going places. He never says, "You look nice," and he leaves the house without mentioning where he is going. It doesn't concern him that it upsets me, as he is convinced that he is right about everything. The food-throwing is an extreme example of his behavior, but it has me concerned about his mental health at this point. Advice, please. -- NEVER THANKED IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR NEVER THANKED: Your husband's mental health is fine. What you have described in detail is not new behavior. The professor has been an educated boor for years and is clearly unwilling to change. I would question your judgment for having tolerated his disrespectful behavior for the length of time you have because he has shown you repeatedly that your feelings are of little consequence to him.

DEAR ABBY: My sister lost her husband a year ago. She has three grown children, but she has a fractured relationship with her 30-year-old daughter. I am heartbroken because I have two daughters and I can't imagine what my sister is going through.

My niece was close to her father and has thrown in my sister's face that he was her person and she told him everything. My niece and I have a good relationship, and she confides to me things she does not speak to her mother about.

I am debating whether to speak to my niece to get a sense of what her issue with my sister really is. My niece blames her mother for everything. I'm not sure if trying to help will backfire. Please help. -- INVOLVED AUNT IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR AUNT: I am sure you mean well, but I don't think it would be helpful to insert yourself as a mediator between your sister and your niece. For whatever reason, your niece felt more comfortable confiding in her late father than in your sister. Stating that fact out loud was not "throwing it in someone's face."

Your relationship with your daughters is clearly different from the one your sister has with hers. Unless you want to alienate your niece, let the two of them work it out.

DEAR ABBY: I am one of the younger children of eight. One sister is deceased, which leaves seven of us to care for our father, who has had dementia since our mother passed. The four oldest are retired. The youngest three still work.

I believe we all should take responsibility for our father. Two of the older siblings are my sisters. I live on the other side of the country. I still work full time, but I take a leave for two months every year to care for Dad. The other 10 months of the year, my sisters take care of him.

I think this should be a "child thing" instead of a "girl thing." If everyone did their share, no one would be overwhelmed with Dad's care. How do I get my brothers to step up? The two who are retired refuse to do anything. One is still working, but he's a teacher and off all summer. My younger brother helps when he can, but he and his wife still work full time. They can't afford to take time off like I do.

My older sisters aren't in great health, and I'm afraid one or both will die because they have taken on too much responsibility. What advice can you offer? -- DIVIDING IT UP IN WASHINGTON

DEAR DIVIDING IT: There are other ways to help with caregiving than in person -- one is with money. The family members who are stepping up should insist that the brothers who can't be bothered to do their part contribute to hiring someone to care for Dad if they are unable or unwilling to step up. If they refuse, and you have to go that route, an attorney might be able to convince them to do the right thing. Shakespeare's King Lear was right when he said, "Sharper than a serpent's tooth is a thankless child."

DEAR ABBY: While you occasionally print letters related to breast cancer, I don't recall seeing any related to male breast cancer. I am a male breast cancer survivor. I was first diagnosed in 2008, with a recurrence in 2018, and I have been amazed by the number of people I have spoken to who don't realize the fact it exists. Granted, breast cancer affects far fewer men than women, but it is serious, nonetheless.

Every year there is an entire month that is dedicated to Breast Cancer Awareness, yet most of the information is aimed toward women. This means we remind 50% of those who can get this disease that they need to be vigilant while ignoring the other 50%. Like most conditions, if you have a family history of breast cancer, it is important to be mindful. Abby, do you agree we need to get the word out? -- SURVIVOR IN OHIO

DEAR SURVIVOR: I certainly do. Male breast cancer is rare, but it does happen. (It has been mentioned in my column before.) Some famous men who revealed they'd had breast cancer are television host Montel Williams, Peter Criss of the rock group Kiss, Richard Roundtree, the original "Shaft," and Sen. Edward Brooke (who lived to the age of 95). Thank you to all of them for speaking out. Any man who knows there is a history of breast cancer in the family should mention this to his physician and take their cue from their doctor.