DEAR ABBY: I recently watched a video of the founder of Overeaters Anonymous, Rozanne S., telling the story of founding the program and her own struggles with food. In it, she mentioned that your mother had been instrumental in getting OA information out to the public and was responsible for its growth.

Abby, OA saved my life, and I'm grateful to Rozanne and to your mother. After 39 years in the program, I have released 120 pounds from my top weight. I'm now at a healthy weight and have been for most of 39 years. Beyond the weight loss, I have sanity, freedom and healthy relationships in my life. I came in only to lose weight, but the clarity I derived from working the 12 steps is the most important thing I have ever done in my life.

I'm glad I didn't have to rely on a drug to help me lose weight, and I found that working on what's inside helped to make the outside a normal weight. My only regret is that more people aren't aware of the program and still believe the solution is to "just lose the weight."

In the introduction to my first OA book, it said, "Thin will not make you well, but well will make you thin." Today, I love myself as I am -- something I never thought would be possible. -- JOE A. IN HOUSTON, TX

DEAR JOE: Thank you for your sweet letter. I remember my mother's interest in Overeaters Anonymous and her respect for its founder. I once had the pleasure of meeting Rozanne, a lovely woman, as well. As I'm sure most of us know, people have been known to eat for reasons that have nothing to do with physical hunger.

The introduction of weight loss drugs has hit like a tidal wave and, for some, it has been like a miracle (so far). However, for those wanting a more conservative approach, or who cannot tolerate the side effects of these drugs or afford the cost, Overeaters Anonymous may provide a successful path to weight loss.

There are more than 6,500 OA meetings worldwide, in 77 countries. This includes 2,500 virtual meetings taking place almost any time of the day from other locations around the world. Readers, if you're interested, you will find more information about Overeaters Anonymous at OA.org. Like any 12-step program, there's no membership fee, but donations are welcome.

DEAR ABBY: My parents are in their 70s. They live in a retirement community. As they have gotten older, they have become more private. They no longer want their children or grandkids around. Recently, I received a call telling me that they would not be answering phone calls anymore. I have stopped by their house, but they do not answer the door. What little relationship I had with them no longer exists. Advice? -- WANTING TO CONNECT

DEAR WANTING: You cannot force your parents into unwelcome contact. If you are concerned about their welfare, contact the police and ask them to do a wellness check because their behavior has changed. However, if everything checks out, you will have to accept that this is what your parents want and abide by their choice, as difficult as that may be.

DEAR ABBY: We invited a couple for a short visit to our remote country cabin. Afterward, I discovered a pair of pink panties lying on the road in front of our mailbox. When I picked them up with a stick to carry to the trash, I realized they were a pair of clean pink panties I had misplaced. They must have stuck to the sheets I had placed on the bed immediately before our guests arrived.

Now I can't stop wondering what this couple must have been thinking when they tossed the panties. This may not seem like a serious issue, but it has become a source of embarrassment for me every time I meet these folks. Should I explain the panty situation or let it go? -- RED-FACED IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR RED-FACED: Don't get your panties in a twist. The next time you encounter the couple, ask if they have encountered a pair of pink panties that you misplaced around the time they came to visit.

DEAR ABBY: I was watching a police video on the internet, and I spotted the woman who lives in the apartment next door. I know it's her because of the prominent tattoo on her chest. She was being arrested for drunk and disorderly conduct.

She went ballistic on the cops. First, she screamed and fought back. Next, she sagged and started sobbing at the top of her lungs. Then she started laughing maniacally. I'm afraid to live next to her now. Should I show the video to the apartment manager and ask that she be removed? -- SCARED IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR SCARED: Although the police video was understandably upsetting, I am not sure that showing it to the building manager would be enough to have the woman evicted. It might, however, be a valid reason for you to move out of the building. If you are truly fearful, consult an attorney who specializes in real estate law who can advise you on possibly breaking your lease.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I are considering a move to another state to be close to our son and his family. Here's our dilemma: We have four lifelong friends who are respected and successful local real estate agents, each of whom would expect to be selected as the listing agent of our home.

Choosing one would, undoubtedly, leave the other three hurt and offended. (They all know each other.) We feel our only option is to choose an outside agent to sell our home and to explain our rationale to our friends before the property hits the market. What say you, please? -- HARD CHOICE IN THE SOUTH

DEAR HARD CHOICE: There is more than one way to handle this. The first would be to use the outside agent and possibly alienate all of your lifelong friends. Another would be to tell all of them you plan to move to another state to be closer to your children and see which one of the four offers you the best deal to represent you in the sale.

DEAR ABBY: My fiancee has a number of male friends she has known for years. One of them stops off at her work, brings food and gifts, and may go out with her after hours. Another called her one evening and invited her out for drinks to celebrate his promotion.

At a recent party, another one had his hands on her back or shoulders whenever he spoke to her (she was wearing a silk blouse). Prior to that, she had left with him to go to the ATM holding his hand. At another party, I practically had to wrestle another "friend" away from her so I could sit next to her at dinner and later stand next to her for the group picture.

When I tell her I'm upset about this, especially that she is allowing it to go on, she tells me they have been friends for years and there is nothing sexual going on. (In fact, she says I'm the ONLY man she knows who thinks that way.) She says, "We're all just touchy-feely." Observing these goings-on, I don't see any of her other male or female friends touching anyone else like this.

I would never touch another woman who was in a committed relationship. She insists it's just me, and that if I say anything, she will be upset. So, here I sit, stewing, while her supposedly non-sexual friends paw at her and vie for her attention. Advice? -- SEETHING IN NEW YORK

DEAR SEETHING: Yes. Your fiancee has made it plain that she doesn't plan to change. This is why you should stop seething and end the engagement. Unless you enjoy pain and anxiety, this isn't the girl for you.

DEAR ABBY: I have one grandchild and another on the way. I have been struggling lately with all the rules and boundaries my children are placing on me. I realize that with the internet and the new parent courses, they are receiving more information than I ever did.

The latest issue is with my daughter who is due in a few months. We are very close, but suddenly she says I will need to shower and wear clean clothing before seeing her child. She's afraid of third-hand smoke. I am, unfortunately, a smoker.

I would never smoke around her baby. I don't even smoke in the house, but she has told me it's her rule. I have read everything about third-hand smoke and haven't found any statistics about the amount of exposure it would take to harm a baby.

I'm going to try to quit, but I think this is crazy. She hasn't said anything about cleaning products, food or anything else. Am I wrong in thinking this is over the top? -- SAD SMOKER IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR SMOKER: As a longtime smoker, you are probably no longer aware of how unpleasant the smell of tobacco can be for nonsmokers. It clings to the smoker's hair, skin, clothing and surroundings. You are entitled to think whatever you wish, but as you stated, this is your daughter's rule, and if you are going to interact with that grandchild, you will have to respect it.

I truly hope you will be able to overcome your tobacco addiction and cuddle the baby. If you do, you will be doing all of you (including yourself) a favor.