DEAR ABBY: I worked for 11 years in the accounting department of a busy law firm. During my tenure, my three much younger colleagues married and started families. Due to the inevitable trials of raising kids, planned, unplanned and often simultaneous absences became commonplace, which left me to run the department alone.

During my last performance review, which I presumed to be confidential, I shared with our boss my exhaustion and health-impacting stress. My appeal for additional personnel was rejected. Rather than address the matter in the context of firm productivity, our boss informed each of my co-workers that I had complained about their chronic absenteeism, drawing charges that I, a middle-aged male with no children, was "insensitive" to their familial obligations.

I mended fences to the best of my ability but resigned shortly thereafter. I never confronted my boss, and he was never aware I had any knowledge of his manipulation. He now contacts me monthly to feign concern for my health and tell me how much I am missed, all of which is disingenuous.

As my former colleagues have now left the firm and face no retribution, I would like to end his contacts with an appropriate expression of my contempt. Or should I simply block him and be done with it? -- MOVED ON IN ARIZONA

DEAR MOVED ON: As a former employee of that firm, you are under no obligation to have any more contact with your former boss. If you are still in the working world, refrain from venting about your contempt. Simply express that you prefer he not call you again. If he asks why, you would be within your rights to tell him you know he violated your confidence, which is why you left the firm.

DEAR ABBY: Last year, I reconnected with a childhood friend. We met for dinner a few times with our husbands, and everything seemed fine. They keep asking us to take a trip together, but I don't feel we know them well enough to spend that much time with them. I'm also becoming uncomfortable when we are together.

She says things like she told her mother she was meeting me for dinner and her mother said, "I'm jealous." Her husband tells me she says I'm her favorite person, EVER. She constantly sends me silly things on social media. I have now backed off even meeting them for dinner because I feel crowded by her.

She recently texted me asking if she had done anything to offend me. I explained that I had a lot of work issues right now and was not good company -- I hoped it would be enough. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I don't want to encourage her friendship, either. Should I leave it alone, or say something more? -- SMOTHERED IN GEORGIA

DEAR SMOTHERED: Listen to your intuition. I don't think you need to do more than you are already doing, which is distancing yourself. If you are confronted directly again, remind her that you and your husband are busy people and you do not have the time to devote to cultivating a closer social relationship.

DEAR ABBY: My mother is toxic. She had a terrible childhood, and she takes it out on me and my younger siblings. I live far away; they live in the same town as she does. If they don't drop everything for her and do what she wants, she calls them selfish.

Because I had to leave town to get my life together, I am accused of "abandoning" her. I am called selfish and also accused of not loving her. A couple of months ago, we all blocked her on social media because she berates us constantly. We told her to get a therapist.

Today, my sister sent me screenshots of Mom berating her again on Facebook. In the texts my sister sent, Mom said she got a psychotherapist who says we are all psychotic.

Abby, why wouldn't the therapist see how delusional and toxic my mother is? Why would a therapist feed her delusions? Where do we go from here? Must I block my mom forever and never talk to her again because her therapist won't help her? -- INCREDULOUS IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR INCREDULOUS: Your mother may have been less than truthful about seeing a therapist. I doubt she has found a licensed mental health professional who would diagnose you and your siblings as suffering from psychosis without having met you. Perhaps the sister who shared the screenshots can tell you what that mental health professional's name is so you can check their credentials.

You left town because you wisely decided to improve your mental health. If you must block your mother and not communicate with her, do not feel guilty for protecting yourself.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 24 years. We make a good living. I earn considerably more than my husband. From the beginning, he has asked me to split everything with him. (He's not the "provider" type.) He views me as a roommate, financially speaking. He was used to having his parents bail him out of financial situations.

I am tired of being the provider. I pay half the mortgage and far more on other expenses. I also do all the cleaning, laundry, cooking and dishes, and I've been picking up after him for 24 years. I have a full-time, highly stressful job and come home from work with chores to do. He works from home and takes naps and siestas during the afternoon.

He brings nothing to the marriage beyond paying his half of the bills. I am no longer physically attracted to him. You can't blame me. Most women are not attracted to men who cannot provide. We have one child. I can't breathe and would rather die young than grow old in this hopeless, depressing arrangement. I just need validation that I shouldn't be putting up with this. -- PROVIDER IN THE WEST

DEAR PROVIDER: I don't know how many other women would tolerate the kind of marriage you have described, but many do. You are entitled to your feelings, but before doing anything rash, it's important that you discuss this with an attorney who specializes in family law. According to the law in the community property golden state of California, your husband could wind up with half of your hard-earned assets.

DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship with "Ben" for 13 years, but I have been to his parents' home only twice. I really love him. We never go anywhere or do anything together. He has never given me a gift for any occasion or "just because." Material things don't matter to me, but if he thought to get me something, it would make me feel he cares.

Ben is always gone, and I'm always alone. He is very selfish. How can I help him understand that I have feelings and I matter as much as he does? -- MISSING SOMETHING IN MISSISSIPPI

DEAR MISSING: People demonstrate their feelings for each other in different ways. From what you have written, it appears the man you have been with for 13 years spends the exact amount of time with you that he wishes, with little to no regard for your needs.

You could talk at Ben until the cows come home, but he won't get the message. For your sake, invest no more time in this man. Concentrate on finding a partner who is willing to give you what you need. If you do, you'll have a happier life than the one you are living now.

DEAR ABBY: A friend's daughter moved in with me to attend college so she would not have to commute. At the time, I was out of state with an ill family member. While I was away, my bathroom was repainted without my permission. Had I been asked, I would have said NO.

I, and many others, think this was totally inappropriate. It's still unsettling to me, even though it happened a couple of years ago. How do I put this behind me? -- COLOR-CORRECTED IN TENNESSEE

DEAR COLOR-CORRECTED: I understand why you are still seeing red. You were generous, and your hospitality was violated. What the girl did was nervy. (I hope you made her restore it to the way it was, but I suspect you didn't do that.)

A way to put this behind you would be to consider it a lesson and, in the future, before allowing anyone to stay in your home, establish a set of ground rules that includes "no altering the premises in your absence."

DEAR ABBY: I have an unusual situation and don't know what to do. I've been married for 28 years. My husband likes to urinate outside. We have a patio just outside our kitchen window, and I can't stand the smell anymore.

Our neighbors have complained to him and have asked me to make him stop. I have asked him nicely, I have begged, I have gotten angry and I have cried. Nothing makes him stop. Last year, he was arrested for urinating in a public park. Please help me figure this out. -- AT THE END OF MY ROPE IN WISCONSIN

DEAR 'END': For some men, their home is their castle, and their yard is their kingdom. Your husband seems to like marking his turf -- literally. (Dogs do this as well.) Because you can't make him see reason, it may be time for your neighbors to report him to the authorities for exposing himself in public.

And, between you and me, that he would urinate in a public park may indicate that he's slipping mentally, which should be mentioned to his doctor.