DEAR ABBY: My young adult child came out to us as transgender several months ago. My husband and I, along with her siblings, are supportive and love her unconditionally.

She recently decided to share the news with her grandparents, sending a heartfelt email along with a couple of resources specifically for grandparents. One grandparent has been completely supportive, immediately started using the correct name and pronouns, began doing some research and continues to treat her as the amazing young adult she is.

The other grandparents sent a text that pretty much said, "We love you because you're family, but we don't really support you." They have had no contact since. My child is extremely disappointed, and my heart breaks for her. She (and we) knows she may lose friends and family over this, but I guess we always hoped grandparents' love was unconditional. What advice do you have for her and for us to continue to support her? -- UNCONDITIONALLY IN OREGON

DEAR UNCONDITIONALLY: Your daughter is fortunate to have loving, supportive parents, siblings and one grandparent who is willing (and able) to accept her as her true self. She needs to be prepared for the fact that not everyone will do that.

This other set of grandparents appear to be less open to learning and less flexible in what they are able to accept. Your daughter should continue on her own path and not permit their judgments to define her. If she can do that, she'll be happier.

DEAR ABBY: Last year, my husband and I relocated to my hometown, which I left 40 years ago. We are happy with our choice to return. Our problem is my friend "Shirley," who I have known since grade school. Shirley has always been a high achiever, but lately she has been taking credit for our positive life decisions.

At the dinner party we threw to thank neighbors and childhood friends for supporting us through our move, Shirley dominated the conversation about her role. When I reconnect with former classmates, if she is around, she inserts herself and makes the conversation about her, or puts me down by making passive-aggressive comments.

Shirley's had a rough life, so I have chalked it up to her needing a win. But now she's doing this with my husband, and it has crossed the line. She didn't do this when we lived out of state. What can I do to put our friendship back to a more equal footing? -- REACHING THE LIMIT IN OHIO

DEAR REACHING: Please reread your letter. The person you have described is not a "friend" -- she's an insecure, jealous individual you happen to have known for a long time. She needs to be the center of attention regardless of how it makes you appear. Do NOT fool yourself into thinking you can make someone like this into a friend. The less you see of Shirley, the better off you and your husband will be.

DEAR ABBY: I've been seeing a man, "Barry," who worked with my younger brother. They had an altercation at work, and Barry was terminated for misconduct. My brother, "Rob," is upset with me because I still see him. Barry did reach out to Rob to apologize and see if they could move on. While my brother has forgiven Barry, he has chosen to have no contact with him, and continues to want to control the narrative.

Am I wrong for going against my brother and continuing the relationship? I was in prior abusive relationships that Rob wasn't concerned about. But when it is about him, he lets me know he's "disappointed" or worried about my well-being. I have set boundaries with them both, but that altercation was between them, not me. -- TORN IN SOUTH DAKOTA

DEAR TORN: The altercation between your brother and Barry must have been a doozy for him to have lost his job. You mentioned that you have been in "prior abusive relationships," which tells me your man-picker may be somewhat skewed. Barry may have anger management issues that need to be addressed.

Like it or not, your brother is right that Barry could be dangerous. The altercation may have been between them, but what's to prevent your boyfriend's volatile temper from erupting on you? Your relationship with Barry could be hazardous to your health, which is why I am urging you to move on and find someone more stable.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in a loving relationship with my wife, who is 10 years older. Last year, we discussed her retiring from the workforce. She's 63 and has worked her whole life. We weren't 100% prepared for this move financially, but I'm happy to see her happy, enjoying time with the grandkids and doing other things.

Here's the rub: She gets bored sometimes. When she gets bored, she spends money and arranges things for us to do that I dislike -- like going camping. I still work full time, and I enjoy my weekends at home relaxing. I think it'd be helpful for her to find a part-time job. I have suggested it, but then she gets hostile and asks if I think she's wasting her time. It becomes an uncomfortable conversation.

Any suggestions about what I can say so I won't tick her off while helping her realize she could find something else to keep her busy and contribute financially? -- TRYING TO KEEP UP IN ARIZONA

DEAR TRYING: Tell your wife you are happy she is enjoying her retirement, but you are still fully employed. Then remind her that when she decided to leave the workforce, you weren't fully prepared for it financially. Explain that for the time being, you need the weekends to rest, not to go camping, which is one of your least favorite things to do. And while you're at it, mention that you know she enjoys shopping, and a part-time job would give her more discretionary money to do it. I don't think that any of those statements should be inflammatory.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for two years, together for five. He's a wonderful man I love dearly. I always felt called to be a mother, and he has expressed the same about being a father. He would be an incredible father, and I'd love nothing more than to raise children with him.

The conflict is that, over the past year or so, I have learned much more about pregnancy and childbirth and what they can put the mother through emotionally and physically. A number of my friends who have given birth recently had serious complications.

Abby, after learning all this information, I'm terrified of being pregnant. So many things can go wrong, and I have a chronic illness that likely will be exacerbated by pregnancy. I also question the ethics of bringing a child into this world, knowing how horrible a place it is, and there are so many children who need a home already, but that's minor compared to my fear of health issues.

My husband does not want to adopt our first child unless we are unable to conceive or I am unable to carry the child, but he's open to adopting after we've tried for one of our own. Adoption or surrogacy isn't financially feasible for us anyway.

I don't know how to tell him I don't want to carry a child -- ever. We are a little older, so my biological clock is ticking. How can I get over my terror to give us something we both deeply want? -- TERRIFIED IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR TERRIFIED: I discussed your letter with Beverly Hills OB/GYN Michele Milovina. The first words out of her mouth were, "That's a very common question," if it makes you feel any better.

Dr. Milovina went on to say that if someone (like yourself) is afraid because of a preexisting health condition, it's time to schedule a preconception visit with their OB/GYN or with a perinatologist. A perinatologist is a physician who specializes in high-risk pregnancies. You can then get real percentages and numbers and make an informed decision.

If you are still fearful, a reproductive psychiatrist (yes, there is such a specialty) may help to quell your fears. You can include your husband in these visits because this is a decision that should be made together with him.

DEAR ABBY: I'm part of a group of four girlfriends. We gather for all of our birthdays and treat the birthday girl to dinner at a restaurant of her choice. However, one girl in the group orders several expensive cocktails, and the bill comes out to be a fortune. She seems to have no regard when it comes to the bill.

This friend's birthday is coming up soon, and she has chosen a very pricey restaurant where the bill will be a minimum of $900 for four people. I'm scared to think about it. How do we nicely tell her she has gone overboard, or do we just not say anything at all? -- TOO MUCH IN MIAMI, FLA.

DEAR TOO MUCH: What "we" say to the birthday girl is that her choice of this restaurant is going to cost more than any of you can comfortably afford, and to please make another selection that will fit into your budgets. Order a bottle of wine and skip the cocktails.