DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend's mom has dementia. He asked me and my kids to move in with him and said he would marry me. In exchange, he expected me to quit my job and take care of his mom. I felt it was a disaster waiting to happen, and taking care of someone with dementia while raising two teenagers was a terrible idea, so I refused.

He put his mother in a nursing home, and now I am no longer treated the same by him. The woman is abusive. She hits and bites and isn't easy to deal with. Living with her would have destroyed our relationship and been stressful for my children. My boyfriend isn't the easiest guy to open up to. I'm sad and don't know what to do. -- TOO MUCH TO HANDLE

DEAR TOO MUCH: When your boyfriend proposed marriage, it wasn't because he loved you. He was looking for an easy solution (for him) to his mother problem. To expect you to quit your job and sacrifice your retirement benefits was nervy. You are not trained to care for a violent dementia patient. He treats you differently because he's angry you didn't go along with his plans for you. What you should do now is move on, because his resentment is unlikely to diminish.

DEAR ABBY: For the entirety of our relationship, my wife has never listened to me. It's literally the only thing I've ever asked her to do. She constantly tells me I have nothing worthwhile to say, without ever actually letting me finish a sentence.

My mother is coming into some money and offered me a sizable sum, provided I don't tell my wife. I'm seriously considering "taking the money and running." I can no longer deal with the constant emotional abuse. My wife treats her children the same way, and it's disgusting to me. What should I do? -- TEMPTED IN CANADA

DEAR TEMPTED: If things are as bad as you have described, talk to an attorney and legally declare your independence. After that's done, take your mother up on her generous offer.

DEAR ABBY: When I married in 1974, my mother had one of my wedding photos of me in my wedding dress and holding my bouquet. It was lovely, and she had it made up into a large 36-inch-by-26-inch portrait with a beautiful frame. It hung in my old bedroom until she passed away. I have had it in a closet in my house ever since.

I've asked my daughter and son if they would like to have it, and they don't. I'm wondering if I should throw it away or leave it up to them when I'm gone. Because we have always had a loving relationship, I don't want either of them to feel bad about disposing of it. -- PICTURING THE FUTURE

DEAR PICTURING: You must be sentimental about that portrait, or you wouldn't have kept it all these years. Because of that, I don't think you should toss it. After you are gone, your daughter or son may change their mind about having it. Let them decide when the time comes.

DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, my mother developed a small nagging cough, and her overall health started to decline. She entered the hospital on a Monday and by the end of the week, she had passed away from a very aggressive form of lung cancer. We were very close, and I was devastated.

I prepared the obituary and also posted an announcement on Facebook. For days, I heard from friends and family offering condolences. But I never heard a word from my husband's niece and nephew. My husband's sister and her husband (their parents) came to the funeral, even though the family lives in a state distant from ours.

I thought we were close to this niece and nephew. They each have children of their own, so they are neither young nor immature. I have been filled with resentment since then. I love them, which is why it hurts so much. I thought we were closer than that.

How can I get past this? I miss my dear mother and the advice and love she provided. After the funeral, I talked to my husband about how brokenhearted I feel. He is a practical person and said I should move on. Is he right? -- STILL HURTING IN ALABAMA

DEAR STILL HURTING: Please allow me to offer my sympathy for the loss of your mother, who obviously lives on in your heart. I don't know whether she would have said this to you, but I don't think she would have wanted you to harbor resentment.

Sometimes, people keep silent because they don't know how to express their feelings or are afraid they might say the wrong thing. I don't know why your younger relatives didn't reach out to offer condolences upon your mother's passing, but this may have been the reason. Practicing forgiveness would be healthier than nursing the resentment you are feeling now.

DEAR ABBY: How can I plan and enjoy holidays at my home with my three adult children? One daughter and her husband always find ways to hold imaginary grudges against our other two daughters. This daughter claims to be always left out, yet she never reaches out to her sisters or even to me and her dad. She and her husband fabricate things that aren't true and stop communicating with everyone. We are always left in the dark.

This has been going on during her entire married life. My husband and I have health issues and no longer want to deal with her childish drama. We would like to have all of us together for holiday get-togethers but can't because of their hard feelings over imaginary slights. -- DISCOURAGED IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR DISCOURAGED: If this has been going on ever since your daughter married her husband, he may be the one stirring the pot. It's a shame because what he's really doing is isolating her. I am sorry you didn't mention how you handle these temporary estrangements. My advice is to be your warm, friendly self. Continue inviting your daughter to these family get-togethers. If she shows up, great. If she doesn't, celebrate without her, which might be easier considering the tension she brings with her.

DEAR ABBY: I'm married, and in my mid-40s. My wife and I have a robust social life, for which we both feel very lucky and blessed. We have amazing friends who are a wonderful support system and with whom we go out regularly.

Lately, our wives have been wanting to go to dance clubs, where the majority of people are half our age. I'm the youngest of the husbands in our friend group. We go along despite feeling uncomfortable. We get weird looks and the occasional comment, and it's awkward being there.

We've talked about it among the guys and agree this is a tough situation. We've had conversations with our wives about feeling uncomfortable, and we all got similar responses, like "Well, then don't come." The one or two times I've sat out, my wife was cool toward me for several days afterward.

She really enjoys going to clubs with her friends and I don't want her to stop enjoying her life. I also understand she feels safer in those environments when I'm around. It's just hard for me and my buddies to feel like losers or people who are "much too old to be at the club," despite the fact that we're with our wives. Is my perspective valid? Or do I just need to suck it up? -- SUPPORTIVE HUSBAND IN TEXAS

DEAR HUSBAND: No guy is "too old" to go dancing. If your problem is that you feel weird doing it, you and your friends should consider signing up for some dance lessons. (No, I am not kidding.) With someone who is experienced and has the patience to teach you, you might actually have fun. Those who have two left feet or no sense of rhythm should consider another activity on the nights their wives go dancing.

P.S. Your wife should not punish you for feeling awkward about going to those clubs. She should instead be trying to help you.

DEAR ABBY: I had an unpleasant experience when I joined a friend and a friend of hers at a restaurant for dinner recently. I arrived at the agreed-upon time, actually early, and expected to find them waiting in the lobby for me. They were nowhere to be seen, so texted my friend several times to tell her I was there and to ask where they were. I finally walked around the crowded restaurant and found them seated and eating salads and rolls. They had already ordered their dinners. I was angry.

I thought it was poor etiquette since I was right on time. At least they could have waited to order and start eating. I repeat: I was not late. I will never agree to dine with them again. What do you think of this? -- OFFENDED IN THE EAST

DEAR OFFENDED: I think your friends were rude. It certainly didn't make you feel welcome. If you could text them, they could have responded to let you know when and where they were seated. I don't blame you for being reluctant to dine with those two again. If you did, there's no guarantee you wouldn't be treated the same way.