DEAR ABBY: A close male friend, "Will," ended our friendship without warning. I didn't know he had such strong feelings about my current arrangement. I have been dating a married man, "Bart," whose wife suggested he get himself a girlfriend if he wanted sex/intimacy/companionship. She also told him she would "never want to sleep with him again." It has been 10 years since they were last intimate or even shared a bed. They don't live together; Bart lives in his guest house. They share a son, which is why he doesn't want to leave.

As a parent, I understand. It's why I stayed in my own marriage for so long. The circumstances are less than ideal and something I never thought I'd be a part of, but I haven't felt this wonderful in years. My ex-husband and I were never this compatible. When I'm with Bart, it's magical, and I believe it's mutual.

For this choice of mine, Will has severed our friendship. He did it via text. I'd told him about it two weeks earlier, and he advised me to be careful. He called Bart and me "cheaters," but it's not exactly like that. I'm deeply hurt over this loss. I want to know if Will is in the wrong or if I am. -- NO CHEATER IN ARIZONA

DEAR NO CHEATER: Does who is "right or wrong" matter at this point? Your friend Will does not approve of your affair with Bart because of his marital status and has chosen to distance himself. That's his privilege. You made an adult decision to engage in this relationship, and it has cost you a friend. Live your life, but don't be shocked if others also feel the way Will does.

DEAR ABBY: I've been dating a wonderful guy for the last six months. Our relationship is great, but he has an ex who is much younger than us (a 16-year age gap). He started seeing her while she was pregnant by someone else. He stayed with her until the baby was 3, but, given the circumstances, he continues to get the baby for weekends, etc. He is not on the birth certificate, but the baby knows only him as her dad.

My problem is the ex. She constantly calls or texts him for money or to say she bought things for the little girl. She has called him to come over to hang out, and, most recently, asked him to co-sign for a new car for her.

I'm not OK with the lack of boundaries, and I have said so. He hears me and has told her several times to back off, but she doesn't listen. It's causing arguments between us. The child isn't his actual child, but that fact obviously isn't changing anything. Should I walk away? -- THIRD WHEEL IN THE EAST

DEAR THIRD WHEEL: Your boyfriend is clearly attached to the little girl. You can't change that, nor should you try. That said, he is still with you in spite of the fact that his ex may be trying to get him (and his financial support) back. Whether you should grit your teeth and tolerate it isn't something I can answer. Your boyfriend can, however, and whether you should walk away is a question you should be asking him.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend's mom has dementia. He asked me and my kids to move in with him and said he would marry me. In exchange, he expected me to quit my job and take care of his mom. I felt it was a disaster waiting to happen, and taking care of someone with dementia while raising two teenagers was a terrible idea, so I refused.

He put his mother in a nursing home, and now I am no longer treated the same by him. The woman is abusive. She hits and bites and isn't easy to deal with. Living with her would have destroyed our relationship and been stressful for my children. My boyfriend isn't the easiest guy to open up to. I'm sad and don't know what to do. -- TOO MUCH TO HANDLE

DEAR TOO MUCH: When your boyfriend proposed marriage, it wasn't because he loved you. He was looking for an easy solution (for him) to his mother problem. To expect you to quit your job and sacrifice your retirement benefits was nervy. You are not trained to care for a violent dementia patient. He treats you differently because he's angry you didn't go along with his plans for you. What you should do now is move on, because his resentment is unlikely to diminish.

DEAR ABBY: For the entirety of our relationship, my wife has never listened to me. It's literally the only thing I've ever asked her to do. She constantly tells me I have nothing worthwhile to say, without ever actually letting me finish a sentence.

My mother is coming into some money and offered me a sizable sum, provided I don't tell my wife. I'm seriously considering "taking the money and running." I can no longer deal with the constant emotional abuse. My wife treats her children the same way, and it's disgusting to me. What should I do? -- TEMPTED IN CANADA

DEAR TEMPTED: If things are as bad as you have described, talk to an attorney and legally declare your independence. After that's done, take your mother up on her generous offer.

DEAR ABBY: When I married in 1974, my mother had one of my wedding photos of me in my wedding dress and holding my bouquet. It was lovely, and she had it made up into a large 36-inch-by-26-inch portrait with a beautiful frame. It hung in my old bedroom until she passed away. I have had it in a closet in my house ever since.

I've asked my daughter and son if they would like to have it, and they don't. I'm wondering if I should throw it away or leave it up to them when I'm gone. Because we have always had a loving relationship, I don't want either of them to feel bad about disposing of it. -- PICTURING THE FUTURE

DEAR PICTURING: You must be sentimental about that portrait, or you wouldn't have kept it all these years. Because of that, I don't think you should toss it. After you are gone, your daughter or son may change their mind about having it. Let them decide when the time comes.

DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, my mother developed a small nagging cough, and her overall health started to decline. She entered the hospital on a Monday and by the end of the week, she had passed away from a very aggressive form of lung cancer. We were very close, and I was devastated.

I prepared the obituary and also posted an announcement on Facebook. For days, I heard from friends and family offering condolences. But I never heard a word from my husband's niece and nephew. My husband's sister and her husband (their parents) came to the funeral, even though the family lives in a state distant from ours.

I thought we were close to this niece and nephew. They each have children of their own, so they are neither young nor immature. I have been filled with resentment since then. I love them, which is why it hurts so much. I thought we were closer than that.

How can I get past this? I miss my dear mother and the advice and love she provided. After the funeral, I talked to my husband about how brokenhearted I feel. He is a practical person and said I should move on. Is he right? -- STILL HURTING IN ALABAMA

DEAR STILL HURTING: Please allow me to offer my sympathy for the loss of your mother, who obviously lives on in your heart. I don't know whether she would have said this to you, but I don't think she would have wanted you to harbor resentment.

Sometimes, people keep silent because they don't know how to express their feelings or are afraid they might say the wrong thing. I don't know why your younger relatives didn't reach out to offer condolences upon your mother's passing, but this may have been the reason. Practicing forgiveness would be healthier than nursing the resentment you are feeling now.

DEAR ABBY: How can I plan and enjoy holidays at my home with my three adult children? One daughter and her husband always find ways to hold imaginary grudges against our other two daughters. This daughter claims to be always left out, yet she never reaches out to her sisters or even to me and her dad. She and her husband fabricate things that aren't true and stop communicating with everyone. We are always left in the dark.

This has been going on during her entire married life. My husband and I have health issues and no longer want to deal with her childish drama. We would like to have all of us together for holiday get-togethers but can't because of their hard feelings over imaginary slights. -- DISCOURAGED IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR DISCOURAGED: If this has been going on ever since your daughter married her husband, he may be the one stirring the pot. It's a shame because what he's really doing is isolating her. I am sorry you didn't mention how you handle these temporary estrangements. My advice is to be your warm, friendly self. Continue inviting your daughter to these family get-togethers. If she shows up, great. If she doesn't, celebrate without her, which might be easier considering the tension she brings with her.