DEAR ABBY: I have been talking to a man for a little more than a year. Things are wonderful between us, but he doesn't seem to want to make a commitment. It's not that I feel he's using me for sex, because he shows me off to his friends, we go out together and he texts or calls daily.

He's kind, and I don't have a single bad thing to say about him. BUT, when I bring up going further, he runs in the opposite direction. He clams up and I can barely get a word out of him. How can things be so great, yet he is so unsure about wanting me to be his official girlfriend?

We act like each other's significant other without having the title. We have taken numerous vacations together and he trusts me to watch his house when he's out of town. I feel confused, and as much as I hate to admit it, I'm hurt. I know he cares for me, but at what point is it time for me to move on? -- COMMITTED IN MISSOURI

DEAR COMMITTED: Your question is a valid one. You have been seeing someone for a little more than a year who has made it obvious that he wants to keep his options open. Because he refuses to discuss the issue, you need to decide how much more time you think is practical to invest in a relationship that may go nowhere. After that, set a deadline and be prepared to move on.

You appear to want different things. I cannot make such a personal decision for you; this is something you will have to decide for yourself.

DEAR ABBY: You have printed letters from readers asking what to do with old love letters (either before they die or when they are found after a death). Let me share my story.

One evening, shortly after our mother passed, my siblings and I were going through some of her belongings and came across correspondence between her and our stepfather, written before they were married. My sister and I began putting them in chronological order and took turns reading them aloud. The content was spicy (their behavior was somewhat frisky!).

Our brother covered his ears, claiming his mom would never behave that way! My sister and I, on the other hand, were laughing and delighted to learn about these intimate and romantic details of the early days of their relationship. My (adult) daughter's eyes were bulging, but I reminded her that Grandma was her age once, as was I!

My advice is to treasure these precious memories and preserve them for your children and grandchildren. As for us, we have scanned the letters into our family's digital archive so they will be available for future generations. -- JUST WANTED TO SHARE

DEAR JUST: Thank you for sharing. Not all people are comfortable thinking about their parents as sexual beings. If your mother was as "frisky" as the letters revealed, I hope you have labeled them "X-rated" so they won't shock more members of your family.

DEAR ABBY: Please give me a tactful way of explaining to my son and daughter-in-law that their "born again" religious pressure makes me uncomfortable, and I'm not interested in changing my views in any way? -- CONTENT IN THE EAST

DEAR CONTENT: Thank your sweet son and daughter-in-law for their concern and state that you are comfortable with your spirituality just as it is. Then ask them to please not bring this up again because, when they do, it makes you uncomfortable.

DEAR ABBY: My husband's uncle died by suicide in his home six months ago. It was a shock to the entire family. Since the funeral, we have helped to settle his affairs, including cleaning out his home to get it ready for sale.

My husband's cousin (the uncle's daughter) has had an understandably difficult time coming to terms with the loss of her father and has decided to purchase the house and reside there. She hasn't sought grief counseling and uses social media as a therapeutic outlet.

Many in the family believe she's making a mistake spurred by grief. She wants to hold family gatherings and holiday celebrations there. Those of us who helped clean out the house do not want to go back there. The loss is still recent, and the memories of the scene are still fresh.

How can we tell this cousin we are uncomfortable visiting the home without causing her more grief? We want to be supportive, but it's just too hard to walk back into the place where he ended his life. -- TRAUMATIZED IN MISSOURI

DEAR TRAUMATIZED: Your husband's cousin is trying hard to deal with her grief, however ill-advised her method may be. Everyone has been supportive, but someone needs to speak honestly with her and let her know that what she is fantasizing about isn't going to happen.

The person closest to her needs to speak frankly -- for the family -- about their reluctance to visit the house again. Once she knows, she may be less eager to buy her father's home. Yes, she could probably use some grief counseling, and it's available to families who have experienced the kind of trauma she has. A resource that could help is the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (988lifeline.org), but that poor, grieving woman has to be willing to ask for it.

DEAR ABBY: When I'm invited to a friend's house for dinner and asked to bring dessert, I always make something fresh and delicious for that evening. Lately, I'm noticing that several friends, when invited to my house or another friend's party, are bringing along half-eaten desserts from the previous evening's family dinner.

I think this is rude. It's like they're saying, "You're not worth the effort." Is this a new trend, or am I too sensitive? -- IRRITATED IN IDAHO

DEAR IRRITATED: You're not too sensitive, and if this is a new trend, I haven't heard of it. Many hosts serve fresh food to their guests and are careful about how it is presented. By that I mean, it is not half-consumed and doesn't look like leftovers. If the "several friends" who do this don't have time to prepare something to bring, they should buy something and bring it whole.

DEAR ABBY: I have been in love with a married man for more than 16 years. It started before he married, but I was married at the time, so he married her. He always told me he wouldn't leave his wife, but I hoped he would.

Three weeks ago, I told him I could no longer go on this way and to have a great life. Two weeks later, he emailed me asking if he was still in my heart and said he was having doubts about his marriage. We live 400 miles apart, but I drove to see him last weekend.

He told me he loved me, which he's never admitted before, and said he isn't sure what he's going to do. Now I don't know what to do, either, or how to act. Do I keep moving on to find someone else in case he doesn't pick me, or contact him so he doesn't lose sight of me? -- HURTING HEART IN VIRGINIA

DEAR HURTING HEART: This person told you he would never leave his wife, and for 16 years he has stuck to his word. He told you he loves you because you drew the line. This is his attempt to reel you back into a relationship that is headed nowhere. Please, for your own sake, keep moving and do not contact him again.

DEAR ABBY: Nine years ago, I severed all ties with my mother-in-law after she accused my husband of sexually assaulting his sister when she was in her teens. His sister died nine years ago from starvation after she was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Since then, I have not spoken to his mother. However, two of my children are recently married. I'm starting to feel guilty for not telling her that her two grandchildren got married. Should I say something to her? -- FEELING GUILTY IN ILLINOIS

DEAR FEELING GUILTY: I do think you should speak to her. It is a shame that she has lost both of her children. If you think it would make her feel better, you and your husband could tell her about the weddings -- but only in the context of healing the breach that may have been created because of a delusion suffered by your late, mentally ill sister-in-law.

DEAR ABBY: My 21-year-old grandson is a dramatic and arrogant know-it-all. My issue is that he's disrespectful to me, especially in social situations. He'll roll his eyes or flap his arms around as if I have two heads. He's actually mean-spirited. I'm not sure how to handle it. Should I simply ignore him, or should I confront him with how I feel? -- MISERABLE GRANDMA IN OHIO

DEAR GRANDMA: You should definitely tell him how you feel if you haven't already done it. He's acting like an overgrown adolescent. If his behavior continues, avoid him, if possible, as you would any other person who treats you with disrespect.

P.S. Also give serious consideration to "avoiding" him on his birthday, at Christmas, during graduation and any other gift-giving occasion.