DEAR ABBY: I have been married 27 years with two kids. My wife recently revealed to me that she was raped when she was 14 but said it wasn't violent. She also said she had several adult partners when she was 15 and 16. We had discussed our past prior to marriage, and these things weren't mentioned. If they had been, I wouldn't have married her.

I have a hard time even looking at her now. I feel like telling her I want a divorce, but I'm looking for a second opinion about what I should do. Am I being ridiculous for wanting a divorce over things that happened 35 years ago? -- THROWN IN MISSOURI

DEAR THROWN: Consent laws can be confusing and can change over time, and a lot may depend on the age of each partner. However, rape is rape. When your wife was 15 and 16 an adult may also have been breaking the law by having sex with her, even consensually. After all this, she might have benefitted from counseling (if any was offered).

Your wife may not have previously discussed this because she was afraid your reaction would be as over the top as it has been. Before you decide to divorce her for being victimized as a teenager, I urge you to consult a licensed therapist either alone or with her. If you do, it will give you better perspective.

DEAR ABBY: My first real adult love was a woman named "Sasha." We had a whirlwind romance in the mid-'80s. At the time, I thought she was The One. The romance ended when she told me she was married. The last time I saw her was with her husband at a nightclub in the '80s.

I moved on and married someone else in 1990. I do, however, think about Sasha sometimes. I don't remember her married last name, so I can't locate her. My wife thinks it's insane that I would want to talk with Sasha. I want to ask her if our relationship was real and if she loved me. When traveling in the area where I met Sasha, I would look at people to see if I might run into her. Do you think I'm crazy to want to have just one conversation with Sasha? -- BITTERSWEET IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR BITTERSWEET: It has been 40 years since your whirlwind romance with Sasha. What was a whirlwind romance for you may have been a fling for her. She should have told you from the beginning that she was married, but she didn't, which leads me to think she didn't love you. People who love each other try to protect each other. Which leads me to your question. No, I don't think you are insane, but I do think it's time you stopped trying to revisit the past.

TO MY READERS: Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, begins at sundown. During this 24-hour period, observant Jewish people fast, engage in reflection and prayer and formally repent for any sin that might have been committed during the previous Hebrew year. To all of you who observe -- may your fast be a meaningful one. -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I own a lake cabin and enjoy hosting friends and relatives. Even though I don't have a pet myself, I like animals and don't mind if people ask to bring their dogs, because the ground floor is linoleum that's easy to clean when the inevitable sand and water get tracked in.

Last year, I invited my niece and her husband to spend the weekend, and they showed up with their large, long-haired dog. Even though they hadn't asked in advance, I didn't have a problem with it until it was time to go to bed. They brought their dog to bed with them in the upstairs guest room. I was so surprised I didn't know what to say.

Dogs have never gone upstairs before, much less rolled around in the bed. They have either slept downstairs on their own, or their owners brought crates or had the dogs sleep in their cars. After the couple left, I had to deep-clean the room to remove the dog hair, including dusting, vacuuming (it is carpeted) and washing all the bed linens (comforter, shams, throws, etc.). I usually just spiff up the room and change the sheets in preparation for the next visitors.

Abby, this couple is coming to the cabin again, and I assume they still have the dog. Should I broach the subject, after setting a precedent during their last visit, or resign myself to the extra cleaning? My relationship with this niece is cordial but slightly strained due to some past family history, so what's more important -- relationships or a clean room? -- CABIN HOST IN MINNESOTA

DEAR HOST: They are both important. You can clean up a room, but you can't repair a severed relationship as easily. That said, avoid this dilemma in the future by explaining your house rules to your niece BEFORE she, her husband and her dog come to the cabin again. Ideally, it should have been done when you and your niece discussed her visiting a second time.

DEAR ABBY: A friendship of 40 years has fallen apart because he refuses to stand up for himself to his wife. She has dominated him throughout their many decades of marriage. Like any narcissist, she managed to isolate him from his family and move him to remote places where he knew no one. Now she is terminally ill and refusing to allow him to move where his family could help him care for her.

His family and I feel the same. Like any narcissist, she has also turned him against me. Along the way, they have made terrible and troubling financial decisions. It is too painful to watch, so I've withdrawn from the friendship rather than support these bad decisions. Was that the right thing to do? -- FORMER FRIEND IN IOWA

DEAR FORMER FRIEND: Yes, it was the right thing to do. Because your friend's wife still controls who may be in contact with her husband, even in her weakened condition, you had little choice but to step back. Once she passes, offer support to him. He is going to need it.

DEAR ABBY: My 18-year-old stepdaughter has decided to date another female. She has dated boys in the past, but that's not the issue. We have nothing against the LGBTQ community. (My husband's brother is gay.) My issue is, should my stepdaughter spend time with her girlfriend in her bedroom with the door closed?

If this were a boy, my husband would certainly have an issue with it -- fear of sexual activity leading to getting pregnant. We are both old school about that but have embraced her new relationship. But we definitely don't want our house to be the hook-up point. It makes us uncomfortable. How should we handle this? -- OPEN DOOR IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR OPEN DOOR: Handle this the same way you would if you were writing about the young woman having a boyfriend. Tell her you are uncomfortable with sexual activity going on in your home and prefer that if she entertains her girlfriend in her bedroom, she must leave the door open.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I recently moved to a smaller town from a big city to be closer to our new grandbaby. This town is populated with a large number of older single women and, since day one, they have been drawn in droves to my husband, who is a very good-looking older man.

These women behave as if I am not even there. They move very close to us while we are shopping and flirt with him. I have had to physically insert myself between one of them and my husband on several occasions. Not only is this annoying while it's happening, but I'm having a hard time making friends. More than one female friend has developed an unhealthy crush on him, so I no longer trust other women. What do I do? -- JUST THE WIFE IN VERMONT

DEAR WIFE: You are going to have to decide to what degree you trust your husband not to stray, and concentrate your efforts on making friends with other couples. It would also be nice if your husband could remind these women that he's married and that you're right there.

DEAR ABBY: My wife went on vacation with her best friend. While they were there, they visited a nudist resort. She admitted she took off her bathing suit and went swimming. Her friend also did.

I was fuming to think she would undress in front of strangers. I feel betrayed. It makes me sick to my stomach to think she did this to me. Am I wrong to be anxious and mad about the situation? -- DRESSED IN MAINE

DEAR DRESSED: I would have to know more about the clothing optional resort your wife and her friend visited. The nudist lifestyle is not a swinging singles weekend. It is often enjoyed by entire families, and the atmosphere is healthy. Please get off the defensive and ask your wife to tell you more about her "adventure," which may have been no more than innocent fun and had nothing to do with you. You do not "own" her body, just her heart -- if you are lucky.