DEAR ABBY: I had a five-year relationship with a man. We broke up because he was unfaithful. Even though I'm willing to forgive and still have feelings for him, my kids don't like this man and don't want me to reconnect with him. My children say that if I do, they no longer want to have a relationship with me.

Their ultimatum doesn't seem fair. I'm afraid I won't fall in love again, and I don't want to be alone later in life. Should I respect my kids' wishes and forgo a relationship with him, or should I seek outside guidance and counseling to see if we can try to be a family, like we had planned originally? I really feel he's the love of my life. No one's perfect. I'm willing to give it another chance, but I want my kids to accept him. I don't know how or if they ever will. What should I do? -- LEANING TOWARD IT IN TEXAS

DEAR LEANING: Fear is the absolute worst reason for a couple to reunite. Your relationship didn't work out because he is a cheater. What makes you think this time would be different? There are worse things than being older and alone. There is no guarantee you wouldn't meet someone and fall in love.

Your children dislike this man for a reason. You ask if you should seek outside guidance and counseling. Speaking as the first person you have asked, I'm all in favor of it. Your doctor can refer you to someone qualified.

DEAR ABBY: I have warm memories of Christmas from when I was a child. I didn't start disliking it until I was married to my second husband. My parents grew old, and we celebrated their last Christmas together. They passed several years ago. After that, I really disliked the season and all the crap that went with it. I have tried to like it over the last few years, and did all the holiday stuff. I sent out cards, baked cookies, decorated, bought presents -- even went to church.

Last Christmas Eve, I just "snapped." I couldn't take it anymore. I took down most of the decorations because I could no longer look at them. I'm not well, and my boyfriend has been sick off and on. He likes Christmas, so I will put some stuff back up for him, not for myself. Why do I dislike Christmas so much? It's such a pain in the butt. Maybe you can help me understand my feelings. -- SCROOGE IN INDIANA

DEAR SCROOGE: Your change in attitude may have been caused by two things. The first would be that, in your mind, Christmas is linked to the loss of your parents and to a chapter of your life that is now closed. The other might have been caused by the incessant hype and merchandising surrounding Christmas that starts right after Halloween. It may be time to scale back and ask your boyfriend to help by celebrating the meaning of Christmas, instead of the trappings. Helping someone -- or a family -- less fortunate comes to mind.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter was diagnosed with a disease. Soon after, she decided to marry a man she'd met. I'm not fond of the guy, and I find it difficult to have a relationship with him. They moved to another state, and I asked that she not bring him to this house. However, every chance she gets, she brings him, and he acts as if this is his house. Right now, I'm in counseling to help me find a solution to this issue.

My daughter is also in counseling and claims it is partially due to me. She'll be having surgery soon, and I have decided not to stay in their home because I'd feel like a hypocrite. I have decided to stay in a hotel and come to their home only to help her. Am I wrong for handling the situation this way?

I don't want to upset my daughter, and I'm sorry our relationship has become so complicated. She is a person who has to control everything. Having a conversation with her is out of the question because it leads to a shouting match and a great deal of disrespect on her part. I tend to shut down and withdraw. What should I do? -- CAUTIOUS IN TEXAS

DEAR CAUTIOUS: I'm pleased to know that you are in counseling. Please discuss with your counselor how to be gracious to your son-in-law when your daughter brings him along when she visits you. (She may have little choice.) For the sake of your sanity, keep those visits short.

Your idea of staying in a hotel when you go to help your daughter after surgery is a logical one. It will give you quiet time to recover from the pressure of caring for her as well as your exposure to her husband. There should be no need for a shouting match; it is important that your daughter's recovery be as stress-free as possible.

As to her being controlling, it may be time to ask yourself where that tendency may have come from.

DEAR ABBY: A close person in my life complains about money yet spends money on frivolous things. They have rooms full of decorations, dishes, plants, flowers and lanterns, and have done extensive planting in their garden, which, to some, is a waste of money. They buy groceries they don't eat, and then complain about throwing food away.

An example: They bought Oreos, which they hate, so now the cookies sit in the cupboard. At some point, it will become "someone's" fault, but maybe not the correct person's. I guess they're only happy when they are alone, buying decorations? -- NOT MANAGING IN THE EAST

DEAR NOT MANAGING: People shop (and sometimes overshop) for many reasons, including boredom, depression and compulsive behavior. If the person you are writing about is spending their own money, I see no reason why you should be writing to me. However, if it is your money, perhaps the "close person" needs to be put on a budget.

DEAR READERS: Time flies! Daylight saving time ends at 2 a.m. Sunday for most folks. Don't forget to turn your clocks back one hour at bedtime tonight. While you're at it, be sure to put fresh batteries in your carbon monoxide and smoke detectors. -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I have been divorced from my ex-husband, "Paul," for 20 years. I never remarried. The divorce was mostly my fault because I was unfaithful. We never tried to save our marriage. He immediately started dating and remarried 18 months later. We have remained friends due to having four children and now grandchildren. I get along with his wife as well.

During the pandemic, I, along with a grown child, moved across the country. Paul and his wife followed us. We live about an hour apart. As it worked out, three of our four kids have also moved to be near us. Over the last two years, I have realized that I miss Paul and have hopes of us being together again. (He does not know this.) I have never disrespected his marriage or his current wife in any way.

They have a unique relationship because they often spend time apart and travel to see their families without each other. I think they also occasionally vacation separately. I know this isn't necessarily a measure of their love or commitment, but my gut tells me it's not the marriage they want people to believe it is.

My gut also tells me he may feel the same way I do. I often think he wishes he had done more to help save our marriage. Should I tell him how I feel? I'm happy in my life, but I don't want to regret not speaking up if there's a chance we could reunite and be the family I know God intended us to be. Any advice? -- REGRETFUL IN ALABAMA

DEAR REGRETFUL: My goodness, you are certainly having a self-serving conversation with the God you should have spoken to before you committed adultery and blew up your marriage. While it may seem unusual to you, many couples visit their families separately, and some even take short vacations if their spouses aren't interested.

Do yourself a favor and look for romance elsewhere. Your ex and his wife might greatly appreciate it if you did. Please consider it before possibly embarrassing yourself.

DEAR ABBY: My husband got into a disagreement with our next-door neighbor and no longer acknowledges him or speaks to him when we see him outside. Our neighbor still says hello to me and my special-needs daughter, but my husband doesn't want me to respond. He says it is "standing by my man." Is my husband right or wrong? I will follow your advice in this situation. -- GOOD NEIGHBOR IN OHIO

DEAR NEIGHBOR: I wish you had mentioned how serious the disagreement between your husband and this neighbor was. That he wants to involve you in this mess doesn't seem very "manly" to me. Do you want to be used as ammunition? If the answer is no, and you would prefer to keep relations friendly (if only for the sake of your special-needs daughter), then tell your husband to fight his own battle and leave you out of it.