DEAR ABBY: I got out of rehab two months ago. While I was there, I met someone. "Annie" lives in Florida, and I live in California. We both are doing great, and I believe we make each other stronger.

Do you think a long-distance relationship can work? I hear it's not possible. She has recently divorced, and so have I. Annie has two children, 15 and 16, and for this reason, she can't leave Florida. I have two kids as well, 11 and 16, and can't leave my state for the same reason. But our kids will go to college in a few years, and I really care for her.

I know how hard it is to find someone. Over the last three years, I've dated 20 women. None of them is anyone I would like to be in a relationship with. Annie is perfect for me. I said we should take it one day at a time. She has flown out here twice to see me, and I'm going to fly to see her next. I know this relationship has its challenges. People tell me that anything is possible and that I should see where it takes us. -- HOPEFUL IN THE DESERT

DEAR HOPEFUL: In three years, Annie's younger child will be 18. Will her children be off to college? It will be seven years before your younger child is considered an adult. Would Annie be able to move to California when she's no longer bound by a custody agreement?

I happen to agree with the folks who tell you that anything is possible. It is the truth -- as long as you and Annie are prepared for a long-distance relationship in the coming years. You both have your sobriety that needs to be maintained, children who need support and relationships with exes that may or may not be problematic. For the foreseeable future, you and Annie should agree to keep your options open and not rule out dating others. If you are meant to be together, it will happen.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married 30 years. Over the last couple of years, a male friend of ours (also married) has taken an interest in my wife. He obviously finds her attractive, as most men do, but I'm trying to figure out what his intentions are.

He comments to me about her and her body, so if he's trying to hide his crush on her, he's not doing a very good job. I know my wife finds him attractive too, although when I mention his name, she shrugs it off and says they're just friends. He has a lovely wife and appears to be a devoted husband and father to his grown children.

I know my wife loves me, but his frequent comments are causing me concern. I don't always show my wife the attention she deserves, so should I step up my game to avoid someone else doing it? Should I be worried that this man's intentions are more than "just friendly" and speak up? -- SUSPICIOUS IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR SUSPICIOUS: You have the right to tell this friend his comments about your wife's body are inappropriate and you want them stopped. You also have the right to become a more attentive husband. I'm sure your wife would appreciate it. I do not think it is necessary to ask this man if his "intentions are more than just friendly." You weren't born yesterday, and you already know the answer is yes.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 17 years to a good man with many great attributes. However, our relationship lacks connection. Every effort at emotional connection is initiated by me (like planning date nights or going out for a walk to have a conversation). I have told him many times I need him to make an effort to initiate. He always agrees, but never follows through.

I have now stopped planning date nights and told him that we won't be going on a date unless he schedules and plans it. (I do not require anything elaborate -- a walk or a simple coffee would suffice.) That was two months ago, and he has made zero effort.

I am lonely and at a loss. What should I do? I have clearly communicated my needs and what I expect from him, and he doesn't seem to care, so I'm not sure where to go from here. -- LONELY IN MINNESOTA

DEAR LONELY: Has it not occurred to you that your husband of 17 years may not have the ability or experience to plan an outing? Assuming the two of you enjoy those walks and dates, and you want to stay married to him, resume taking the initiative and planning your personal time together and show him how it's done. It may not be romantic, but I have heard of men who have far worse flaws.

DEAR ABBY: Do you think it's unreasonable to ask an acquaintance/neighbor to send a quick text before dropping by? This neighbor lives within the same development I do. She is friendly enough, and we occasionally walk our dogs together, but she has a habit of coming by unannounced.

I was out one afternoon and noticed later while viewing my security camera that she had come by and brought with her another woman and the woman's dog. I texted her and let her know that I saw that she had stopped by, and, in the future, I'd prefer she texted me before stopping over. Now she is offended and says she will "never stop over again."

I saw her walk by my house recently and came out to speak to her. When I tried to talk to her, she held up her hand and said, "Don't even speak to me!" I think this is childish and drama-filled. What do you think? -- GROWN-UP IN OHIO

DEAR GROWN-UP: I agree with you. The woman overreacted to your text. This is one of the reasons I believe talking on the phone or face-to-face is a better way to communicate because there's less chance of someone misconstruing a terse message and taking offense. As to her directive that you should not speak to her, take her up on it. Dropping in on someone with no warning is inconsiderate, bordering on rude.

DEAR VETERANS: For your service to our nation, I salute you. My thanks to each of you on this Veterans Day. You personify patriotism, self-sacrifice and dedication to our country. I would also like to recognize your families for the sacrifices they, too, have made while you were serving your country. -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I'm in my early 30s; my husband is 46. We have been married three years. He has a 24-year-old daughter, "Kiki." Kiki has always been spoiled and catered to; she learned how to lie and manipulate during her childhood.

I have tried to help her because I believed his family when they said she's trying to get it together. Kiki has a DUI, and she got evicted when her parents asked her to pay her own rent, rather than having them pay. They give her cars, but she wrecks them and then leaves them on the side of the road.

We have a 3-week-old baby and a mortgage. I don't think his daughter should still be in our budget, but my husband can't say no to giving her money. Kiki is a habitual liar and user. She can't pay for gas because she buys weed and alcohol instead, confident that everyone else will pay when her utilities get shut off.

I don't think it's fair for us to pay her way. Is 24 young enough to still need this much help? My husband is very defensive about it. -- USED IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR USED: Considering this troubled young woman's history, your husband has made a big mistake by fostering her dependence on him. Independence is something she may have to learn in increments. Your husband should sit down with Kiki and explain that he loves her, but she must now find work to support herself, and that he will help -- for a set period of time -- as she adjusts to shouldering responsibility for herself.

If he is still paying her rent, there should be a firm cutoff point. No more cars, because she's a danger on the road. She can use public transportation. And if there are any more problems because of her substance abuse, all bets will be off. The time to draw the line is now.

DEAR ABBY: I am in an online group with neighbors, but I have not been able to get out and meet some newer members in person. One person signs their posts in a language I don't recognize, and I was wondering if there is a polite way to ask them how to pronounce their name and what language it is. There doesn't seem to be a way to broach the subject without seeming negative.

Also, when I hear people in my local store speak another language, I am curious because I am semi-fluent in three languages and interested in learning more, but again, what is a polite way to ask? -- WONDERING IN VIRGINIA

DEAR WONDERING: If you have the slightest concern about asking your neighbors how to pronounce their name and what language it is, then don't do it online. Ask another neighbor or wait until you can meet the person face-to-face.

When you are out and about and hear a language you don't recognize, smile at the people, say that you speak three languages, like the way theirs sounds and ask what it is because you might like to learn it. If the question is asked in a friendly way, most people will answer in the same vein. (I did this at a supermarket recently. The answer was they came from Indonesia and were speaking Malay.)