DEAR ABBY: My daughter, "Virginia," age 27, lives with her boyfriend, "Ray," on the East Coast and teaches kindergarten. Last month, she confided that she had caught him cheating. She saw texts on his phone. When she confronted him, Ray immediately confessed and was very apologetic, but he also kept the woman's number in his phone.

Ray will soon be moving to another state, and her job will end in about three weeks. Virginia is seriously considering going with him and has also mentioned marriage. Her mother and I are divorced due to her mother's infidelity, but we agree that we will counsel her not to stay with him. Although he took responsibility, cheating is destructive in any serious relationship.

I have gone back and forth with Virginia via email, but sometimes she stops communicating. I haven't been harsh, but I did ask her why Ray would keep the other woman's number unless he wanted to remain in contact with her.

Can you think of anything else a worried dad can do to help the situation? Obviously, Virginia can ignore parental advice and do what she wants. I am also wondering what I can say to Ray when I see him next. I neither want to give him a pass nor condemn him as a monster. -- STRONG DAD IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR DAD: Talk with your daughter, face-to-face if possible. Tell her that, as an adult, she can do what she wants, but as a caring parent, you cannot stay silent. Remind her that Ray kept the other woman's number, which means he intends at some point to contact her. Explain that, to you, this means he is less committed to your daughter than he should be.

As to what you might say to Virginia's boyfriend, tell him you are disgusted by his selfishness and dishonesty, and he doesn't deserve your daughter. If you have any more thoughts on the subject you would like to share, feel free to air them.

DEAR ABBY: What would you say about a man who offered his wife's siblings an all-expense-paid trip to Paris, knowing that his wife could not consider going on such a trip because of mobility issues?

Full disclosure: The husband and wife have been to Paris in the past (when the wife's health was OK), but the husband feels the need to go again and has no one else to accompany him. His wife will be left home alone to fend for herself. Somehow, this whole deal leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Please set me straight. -- HOMEBODY IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR HOMEBODY: People with physical disabilities travel internationally all the time. If the husband has the money to take his wife's siblings on an all-expense paid trip to Paris, surely he could afford to take his wife and a caregiver with him on that trip down memory lane. That way, she would be looked after and still be able to enjoy the trip to the degree that she's able. Has no one suggested it besides me?

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have three grown children, all of whom still live at home. I had always thought that once they graduated from college and got good jobs, they should start paying rent. Because my husband had to pay rent when he still lived at home, he said he would never do that to his kids.

Our oldest, "Samantha," is now 31. She has a well-paying job and drives an expensive car. She does barely anything around the house but does buy her own food and toiletries.

The other two help tremendously around the house, often without being asked. Samantha will sometimes do something, but I have to ask multiple times, and usually weeks go by before it gets done. She can't afford to move out because she has large student loan debt. Plus, why would she move when she lives rent-free and comes and goes as she pleases? Even her dog lives here for free.

My husband and I have had many discussions about this, at my prompting, and it just leads to us arguing and me feeling resentful toward him. I couldn't enforce anything without his backing because, apparently, my opinion doesn't matter, so I just stay mad and wonder why I am even here. How can I make him realize how wrong he is and finally stop our daughter from walking all over us? -- FRUSTRATED IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR FRUSTRATED: Disagreements over child-rearing have destroyed marriages. Children should never be allowed to come between parents, which seems to have happened in your case. That your husband makes you feel your opinion doesn't matter is terrible. Does this disrespect spill over to aspects of your relationship other than this disagreement? At 31 (!) and gainfully employed, your daughter should have started shouldering some responsibility for herself years ago. Discuss this with a licensed mental health professional, and you may learn to become more assertive.

DEAR ABBY: I am in a relationship with a lovely man. He respects me, appreciates me and accepts me (flaws and all), and we get along really well. He's the other half of me.

Things are wonderful, except that he's been having really terrible breath lately, like a bad tooth or something. I've always been the quiet, shy type, never mentioning things that bother me (my kids' father abused me for several years), and I feel uncomfortable speaking up. But Abby, his bad breath drives me nuts. When he tries to kiss me, I give him a few pecks but feel repulsed at the unpleasant odor.

How do I address this tactfully and respectfully? I don't want to embarrass him. How do I bring this up? -- PUT OFF IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR PUT OFF: Bring this up not as a criticism, but because you love and care about him. Do it not for yourself but for him. He may be having a problem with his teeth, his gums or his digestive system. For the sake of his general health, he should be checked out, first with his dentist and possibly later with his doctor.

DEAR ABBY: Some time ago, you printed a letter from a grandmother who said she was changing her will because neither her adult children nor her grandchildren ever wrote her thank-you notes when she sent a gift. I had taught my son the importance of writing thank-you notes, but he wasn't doing a very good job of completing the process. I cut out the letter from your column and sent it to him.

Boy, what a difference it made. He was recently married, and many people have told me what heartfelt thank-you notes they received in a timely manner and how much they were appreciated. He recently had a birthday, and every person who wished him well got a written thank-you.

Abby, please continue to remind your readers about the importance of thankfulness and kindness and what that means to others. Entitlement has gotten way out of hand. Handwritten thank-you notes are NOT old-fashioned. They lift the giver's heart. Thank you. -- TAMARA IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR TAMARA: The subject of thank-you notes is one of the most common complaints I receive from readers. Some people put off writing them because they have difficulty expressing themselves via the written word, don't know what to say or are afraid they'll say the wrong thing.

I advise readers to have a notebook handy when they open gifts and jot down the first words that come to mind when they see what's inside. For some reason, they mistakenly believe a thank-you must be long and flowery when, in fact, short and to the point is more effective. Do they like the color? The style? Is the gift something they've been wanting? Write it down and use it for inspiration!

My Letters booklet contains samples of thank-you notes for birthday gifts, shower gifts, wedding gifts and those that arrive at holiday time. It can be ordered by sending your name and mailing address plus a check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby Letters Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price. You will find it also contains sample letters of congratulations as well as for difficult subjects, such as the loss of a parent, spouse or a child. Many readers have told me my booklet has served as a valuable tool in teaching their children basic good manners.

DEAR ABBY: I am elderly and stuck in a miserable marriage. The romance is long gone. We live as roommates. If I were to die tomorrow, I don't think anyone would miss me. I'm partially disabled, and it is difficult for me to get out on my own. Must I accept life as it is, or should I kick his butt out? -- HOPELESS IN TEXAS

DEAR HOPELESS: If you are financially dependent upon your husband or need his help for personal needs, I do not recommend "kicking his butt out." Contact your nearest senior center and ask what activities are offered in your community, including transportation for seniors or people with disabilities. If you do, you may be pleasantly surprised to discover you are not as isolated as you think.