DEAR ABBY: I've been living with someone for four years. When we started living together, his son "Byron" was incarcerated. Byron is 33 and has been in trouble since he was 15. His dad keeps bailing him out. I used two of my credit cards to help raise the $11,000 bail to get him out of jail. In exchange, Byron agreed to put on a new roof for us and help around the house.

Byron has completed none of the tasks that were asked of him, and his dad keeps helping him anyway. We had to pay Byron's rent at the rehab so he wouldn't be kicked out. This has created a rift between me and my boyfriend, who thinks I'm being selfish and greedy.

Am I wrong for no longer wanting to help financially? We got along great until this happened. -- DOING TIME, TOO, IN ALABAMA

DEAR DOING TIME: Byron is the person he is because his father has enabled him since he was a child. You are neither selfish nor greedy for refusing to give more money. Forgive me if this seems harsh, but unless you want to continue to be emotionally blackmailed by your boyfriend, get out now before you are drained financially.

DEAR ABBY: I have no problem driving at night, but I prefer to stay home rather than go out. Truth be told, I don't like to be out after 4 or 5 p.m. Yes, I miss a lot of social activities, but I don't mind.

The problem is friends and acquaintances who, when they find out I'm not going out at night, instantly offer to pick me up because they are kind and gracious. No matter how many times I explain that it's not the driving, it's that I prefer not to be out at night, it falls on deaf ears.

I know I'm lucky to have sweet friends who volunteer to drive me, but I'm tired of explaining myself. Because I don't want to insult anyone, can you suggest a polite way to turn these folks down? Nothing I've said so far has worked, including saying, "It's not the driving. I don't go out at night." -- HOMEBODY IN FLORIDA

DEAR HOMEBODY: Perhaps you should state your message a little more emphatically by saying, "I don't think you understand. It's not the driving, it's that I am uncomfortable going out after dark. Please don't ask me again because my answer isn't going to change."

DEAR ABBY: My wife's family has a history of breast cancer. She has had several MRIs and biopsies, which have caused a great deal of discomfort and stress. She is now going in for a lumpectomy. I'm beginning to think it may be better to have her breasts removed. I didn't marry her boobs; I married the woman behind them. What do you think? -- PROACTIVE IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR PROACTIVE: I'm sure you love her, but I think you should support your wife emotionally and let this decision be something that's decided between her and her doctors.

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my girlfriend, "Kim," for a year and a half. We are both in our 40s and very independent. Her mother struggles with our relationship because we are two women. She has told Kim our relationship is an embarrassment for her. She didn't know her daughter is a lesbian until we began seeing each other. Kim's mother has said that if I were a man, she would be thrilled. She knows I love her daughter and treat her well, but she can't get over the fact that we are gay.

I am perplexed about what to do. Our relationship is stable, and we are both happy, but this bothers both of us. I don't want Kim to feel torn between her mother and me, especially since we are discussing marriage. Is there anything I can do to ease the tension? -- LOOKING FOR PEACE IN KENTUCKY

DEAR LOOKING: There is little to nothing you can (or should) do to ease Kim's mother's embarrassment. Parents have all sorts of dreams and ambitions where their children are concerned, but in the final analysis, adult children must live their own lives as they see fit.

A longtime, trusted organization called PFLAG exists for the precise purpose of building bridges between LGBTQ individuals and their family members. You can find it at pflag.org. However, until Kim's mother is willing to seek help to adjust to reality, there's nothing you or Kim can do other than let your happy life together be an example.

DEAR ABBY: Two and a half years ago, I purchased a starter motorcycle and allowed someone I considered to be a good friend to ride it around the block. She fell in love with it and expressed that she would love to have it. I made an agreement with her that when I upgraded, I would sell her that bike.

A year later, I was able to purchase the one I wanted. I found out what the trade-in value for my original bike would have been and agreed to sell it to her at that price. I told her then to pay me as she was able, and I signed the title over to her. I did not draw up any bill of sale or contract. I now realize this may have been naive on my part.

Shortly after taking possession, she had an accident and totaled the bike. Her insurance did not pay, and she has hired a lawyer, saying it was the other person's fault. During this time, she has paid not one cent toward the bike, or even acknowledged that she owes me anything for it.

I struggle with confrontation, so I have yet to say anything, but a year and a half later, I think the time has come. I know legally there isn't much I can do, but I would like to say something to her. How can I address this without coming across as being difficult? We have grown apart but are still friendly. -- BIKER CHICK IN TEXAS

DEAR BIKER CHICK: Try this: "It has been a year and a half since I sold you the bike. When do you plan to start paying me what we agreed upon?" It is a legitimate question.

DEAR ABBY: I had my four children by the time I was 24. My oldest is a senior, while my others are a sophomore, eighth grader and a seventh grader. I feel, at times, that I go through a grieving process more now than ever as they are getting older and time is racing by so incredibly fast.

Is it normal to feel sadness and grief over your children growing up, knowing they are going to be gone in a few years? My oldest just joined the military and leaves after her final year of high school. I became a mom at such a young age that it's all I have ever known and dedicated my life to (besides being a wife and health care worker).

Is what I am feeling normal and, if so, does the emotional part of it ever get easier? I pride myself on being the best I can be as a mother and provider, and I am having a hard time -- especially with my oldest -- knowing that I have to let go. -- INVESTED MAMA IN TENNESSEE

DEAR MAMA: People experience "empty nest syndrome" to varying degrees. You are a successful parent, but you are also more than that. You have raised your daughter to (young) adulthood and prepared her for independence. That was your job. She is not dying, you are not losing her and she isn't "disappearing over a sand dune." She now has a chance to use the skills you have taught her to create a successful future.

Dry your tears. Be proud of yourself. Be proud of her. Now that your children are older, explore activities that will enrich your own life. You have earned it.

DEAR ABBY: I recently got engaged, and I am thrilled to be marrying such a wonderful man. We communicate well and have never argued until now. Weddings are expensive, and we agreed on a budget. We will be paying for this on our own. Once we started getting into all the costs, we quickly realized we will have to lower the number of guests or increase the budget.

I am completely against increasing the budget to accommodate family members my fiance hardly talks to. I wanted a small wedding anyway. He feels obligated to invite all his extended family members, and I don't understand it. I love him, but why are we obligated to overextend ourselves for people who won't be a major part of our lives going forward? -- FRUGAL FUTURE BRIDE IN FLORIDA

DEAR FUTURE BRIDE: Be glad you are having this argument with your fiance early in your engagement. I say this because questions about priorities and how money is spent are among the chief reasons marriages break up. Although this may add to the expenses attached to your wedding, it could head off many problems down the road if the two of you get pre-marital counseling. There may be other ways to cut costs rather than shorten the guest list, particularly if your fiance feels his family members might feel slighted if they aren't invited.