DEAR ABBY: My best friend of 40 years, "Savannah," has been in a bad marriage for 20 of those. Her husband has cheated on her repeatedly. He can't keep a job, and he emotionally abuses her and her daughter. Now that she's finally fed up, he refuses to leave the house.

Despite how bad his behavior has been, Savannah is doing nothing to move the divorce forward. She continues paying for his travel and includes him in family get-togethers in what she calls a "sacrifice," made at her daughter's request.

It has been incredibly difficult to be supportive, hear about how harmful this has been, support her when she says she's getting out, and then hear that for one reason or another he's still there. When I challenge her and suggest she's making excuses for not progressing with the divorce, she becomes defensive and shuts down the conversation.

Over the last two years, she has taken to calling me twice a day, and becomes frustrated if I don't answer. I have asked her to stop telling me stories about her husband's behavior -- which usually lasts a week or two. I am at my wits' end about how to be a good friend without taking on the stress of her horrible situation and feeling generally overwhelmed by her outreach. What can I do to help her, but also prevent our friendship from imploding? -- WEARY FRIEND IN MICHIGAN

DEAR WEARY FRIEND: What you may need to do is accept that one of the reasons Savannah's dysfunctional marriage has lasted as long as it has is because she wants it to. She doesn't need to move forward because she has you to dump on when the pressure becomes too great.

It may be time to stop focusing on what you can do to help Savannah and concentrate on what you need to do to help yourself. If that means stepping back and letting her find solutions to her problems without your help, don't feel guilty for doing it.

DEAR ABBY: For years, a group of us former co-workers has been going out to dinner once a month. My daughter is part of the group and is also the youngest. Lately, she has been dismissed and ignored by two members of our group (there are six of us).

Being her mother, I am hurt by how they have treated her. She has stopped going out with us, but I'm uncertain if I should also stop. They have been nothing but nice to me. I'm lost on what to do anymore -- to go, or not to go? -- HURT IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR HURT: Have you asked these two former co-workers why they made your daughter feel unwelcome? Their behavior was rude. Have you asked the two who were welcoming what they think about all of this? Perhaps you (and your daughter) would feel more comfortable socializing with only them. That said, I do not think you should drop out of the group if you enjoy their company.

DEAR ABBY: A month ago, my 7-year-old son was struck by a vehicle while riding his bike in a crosswalk. He's fine now. His injuries were minor, although it was frightening. Police and paramedics responded quickly, and I took my son to the hospital to have him fully checked.

Later that day, a police officer came by our house with a new bike for our son, purchased by the driver of the vehicle. He gave us a paper with the driver's insurance information and said something to the effect of, "Her address is on there too, if you want to thank her for the new bike. That was really nice of them." I was shocked that he would say that.

I guess it was a nice gesture, but she hit my son with a car! The driver admitted to having been distracted. At the scene, she said she thought she had hit a dog. I could go on, but suffice it to say the driver was 100% at fault.

I put the new bike away in the garage. My son saw it there and wanted to ride it. I held out until our insurance claim was accepted, and we went for a ride today. The new bike is not as good as his old one, but he was excited about it because it is a different color. I'm so grateful that he is doing well and isn't afraid of biking again. My question is, do I have to write that thank-you note? If so, can you please give me the words? -- BICYCLE MOMMY IN WASHINGTON

DEAR MOMMY: I can think of a few choice words, but no rule of etiquette demands you thank the woman for the bicycle that was destroyed because of her inattentiveness.

DEAR ABBY: I have a group of friends I've known for 40 years. As time has passed, we have grown apart politically. This wasn't a problem until recently. Whenever we get together now, they shout at me about my political choices. At first, I tried to defend my position, but I was shouted down. Then I explained that I didn't want to talk politics, that I respect their right to have a different opinion and to please respect mine. That works only temporarily. The next time we meet, it's the same. It's like they think if they all talk at once, they can convince me. They can't, and I have no desire to convince them.

It has reached the point that I'm no longer comfortable in their company, and, evidently, they're not in mine, since they are now meeting without me. I can make new friends, but 40 years is a long time, and I miss them. Is there nothing more I can do short of pretending I agree with them, which I won't do? -- ISSUES APART IN NEW YORK

DEAR ISSUES APART: Just as there is nothing more that your old friends can do to convince you, the reverse is also true. You have now reached a stalemate. Politics aside, these friends are shouting at you and disrespecting your wishes. For your own sake, it may be time to step back and cultivate friends who are more tolerant than these folks appear to be.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 64-year-old guy. I am single and have two daughters and four grandkids. A young woman ("Sarah"), who is my daughter's age, and I have been hiking buddies for the past five years. I treat her like my third daughter and a family member. Sarah is married, and her husband does not enjoy hiking. Her husband and my daughters accept our friendship and are happy that I found a person I can hike with.

I have been dating a lady ("Toni") who is close to my age. Six months ago, I suggested we should spend our lives together. My daughters and Sarah were happy for me. Toni rejected my proposal, citing that I must have some kind of romantic relationship with Sarah.

When I mentioned it to Sarah, she distanced from me. I think she thinks she may have interfered with my relationship with Toni. We're still friends but not like before. Should I talk to Sarah and ask why she distanced from me? I feel depressed about this and have some remorse. I should not have told her what Toni said. -- HIKER IN COLORADO

DEAR HIKER: I don't think you did anything wrong by telling Sarah what Toni implied. You have a right to ask any question you wish of your hiking buddy. You won't know why your warm five-year relationship with her cooled unless you ask.

What I would like to know is whether you are still dating Toni after she rejected your proposal. If the answer is yes, do you plan to continue, knowing you have no future with her unless you find a male hiking buddy?

DEAR ABBY: I have had a friend who has been in my life and part of my group of friends' lives since high school. Years and years later, she has become increasingly negative toward all of us for no reason. Her husband is dying now, and we don't know how to handle it.

She has ghosted all of us because she's so full of hatred and negativity. We had decades of fun and memories, but she wants nothing to do with us. How do we handle the death of her husband? She says we are all phonies, which is all in her head. -- PERPLEXED IN OHIO

DEAR PERPLEXED: How long has this woman been becoming "negative"? There may be a reason why she has changed. Her husband is sick and he's not going to get better. If she loves him and feels any responsibility to him at all, she's directing all of her energies in that direction.

The way to handle this would be for you longtime friends to step forward. Tell her you care. Volunteer to help in any way she will allow, and do not isolate her any more than she has isolated herself. If you haven't done that, I can see why she might have said she thought you were phonies.