DEAR ABBY: I've been with my husband for 10 years. For a long time, I didn't decorate our house because I didn't want to spend the money. But for the last few years, I've spent many hours poring over Pinterest. I LOVE interior decorating and know exactly how I want each room of the house to look.

The problem is my husband. I once tried to buy a new shower curtain. It was a huge debacle because he didn't like the one I'd chosen. Abby, I have done my homework. How do I convince my husband to give me free rein in decorating? I'm afraid every paint color and every piece of furniture is going to be an argument, and I'm so discouraged I don't even try.

We've had the same curtains, bedding and dining room table for years, and our house is very ugly. Should I just start making changes without consulting him? Should I sit him down and talk to him? Is it fair of me to not take his preferences into account? -- FRUSTRATED CREATIVE

DEAR FRUSTRATED: By all means, discuss this with your husband before making any changes. Under no circumstances should you make any without consulting him. It would be extremely unfair to ignore his opinion. Some compromises will have to be made. The least contentious way to accomplish this would be with the help of a professional decorator who can take both your preferences into account and help you to blend them.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for 16 years, together for 22. He's the love of my life, my sunshine and roses. He's a great husband and an even better father.

You are probably wondering why on earth I'm writing to you. Well, his teeth are disgusting. They are stained, chipped and just gross. He is overcoming some self-esteem issues regarding his weight. He has lost a good bit, and I'm super proud of him, but how do I say, "Great job! But there's still something wrong with you"?

For the record, his weight means nothing to me. I never pushed him to be "slim" or "buff," but rather to be healthy and have enough stamina to keep up with our kids and get off the CPAP machine. Money and the dental expenses aren't an issue, but he would rather spend extra money doing fun things as a family, making memories and having adventures, which is great. I just wish he could have a nice smile while doing it. Advice? -- NOT QUITE PERFECT IN OHIO

DEAR NOT QUITE: Because your husband's teeth are a turn-off, you are going to have to address the problem. Wait until he is at or near his goal weight, then tell him that although you adore him, you would find him more kissable if he would deal with his dental issue. Tell him that putting it off may make the problem more difficult to fix. Your family dentist may be able to help or refer him to a good cosmetic dentist.

DEAR ABBY: I have had a falling out with my sister over her 13-year-old son, my nephew. He is generally a happy child, with everything a boy could want in moderation. My sister is separated from his father. She has primary custody, but they do have a co-parenting relationship.

My nephew respects and obeys his father, but he treats my sister like crap. He yells at her and his grandmother, constantly talks back, etc. When he tried it on me, I put him in his place with some choice words. My sister took offense, and we argued over it. I think he needs clear consequences for disrespecting adults. Instead, my sister makes excuses for why he behaves this way -- "He didn't sleep well last night. He's upset about X-Y-Z," etc.

I know I'm armchair parenting, but I cannot stand to see this child yell at my sister or elderly mother, and I will not tolerate that behavior toward me. We end up arguing every time I try to talk to her about it. I have stopped spending time with them because of it. Advice, please. -- OLD-SCHOOL AUNTIE

DEAR AUNTIE: Your nephew may act out because he is entering his turbulent teens, and this is a phase. It could also be that his mother has yet to make him suffer the consequences for his disrespectful behavior toward you and his grandmother.

Since your sister and her ex are co-parenting, they should both be talking to their son about "respect." His grandmother also has a tongue, and she shouldn't tolerate her grandson's bad behavior, either. Personally, I would handle it by avoiding the kid until he straightens up, which may take forever.

DEAR ABBY: A dear friend of 12 years recently lost her beloved dog (who she called her third child) to old age. She chose to put the dog down because of health problems and has been racked with guilt ever since.

I lost my 19-year-old son 10 years ago to suicide. This has been the worst decade of my life, and I grieve for him every day. My friend has been equating the death of her pet to the death of my son, which has caused a major rift in our relationship. It is not only insulting but also beyond hurtful to me to hear that the passing of a pet is as painful and tragic as the loss of my son.

I have told her time and time again there is no comparing the loss of a human child to the loss of a canine "child," yet she continues to disagree. How should I deal with her and this situation? Your advice would be greatly appreciated. -- GRIEVING MOM IN THE SOUTH

DEAR GRIEVING MOM: I will cut your friend some slack because she's in pain right now, but she's deluded. The pain of sending a beloved pet across the Rainbow Bridge and that of losing a child are not comparable, and for her to have said it -- not only once but to harp on it -- is ridiculous. The best way to deal with this woman would be to distance yourself until she regains some perspective.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I are in our 80s, married for 61 years. We are financially well-off and have few medical issues. As we approach our departure from this Earth, we've created the necessary legal documents to distribute our assets. So, what's the problem? My spouse is a "collector." We have several wonderful china settings, sterling silver and beautiful linens. At one time, we set a beautiful table.

Today, old age has caught up with us. Most of those invitees are gone. But my spouse and I are living like we did 50 years ago, and it's getting on my nerves. Nobody wants our stuff! It's time to divest ourselves of possessions that somebody else might have an interest in and get them off our hands. My spouse refuses to part with anything. There's always an excuse to keep the clutter.

I saw this in my parents decades ago. If it came in the front door, it didn't go out again. Why are people so addicted to things, and what can be done to alleviate my anxiety? -- READY TO LET GO IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR READY: Consider this: Every piece of china and crystal, every pattern of silverware and all the accessories that people used to think were necessary to create a beautiful home (and life), have treasured memories attached. Where you see clutter, your wife sees the happy years spent acquiring it and entertaining.

Because these items are no longer being used, they could be boxed up "just in case" they are needed again. Photograph them so you have a record of what they are, and discuss with your wife possibly donating them to a charity thrift store. While you are correct that young people today aren't as avid about formal entertaining as members of your generation were, there are still people around who recognize quality and value who might be interested in having some of it.

As to your anxiety, discuss this with your doctor and, if necessary, ask for a referral to a therapist for some counseling.

DEAR ABBY: I have a wonderful, intelligent 19-year-old daughter. She's a junior in college in another city. She has always been extremely thin. We have taken her to doctors to address this. They discovered a vitamin deficiency and suggested she eat more nutritious foods with vitamins prescribed.

My question is, is it OK to push foods on her after her barely eaten meals? She gets full immediately and doesn't always take her vitamins. I don't want her to distance herself from me by insisting she eat more. -- MOTHERING MOTHER IN TEXAS

DEAR MOTHER: I do not recommend that you "push" foods on your daughter. If you do, it may cause her to rebel. I do, however, think it might be a good idea for you to do some research about eating disorders, because your daughter may have one.