DEAR ABBY: My son's father, "Tony," and I dated for two years before our son was born. We split up seven years ago, and it's been on and off most of the time since then. This past year we have been growing closer again, and I asked him what he wants. Tony said he doesn't want a romantic relationship with anyone right now because he is working on his anger issues. He's a former combat Marine, and he's had these issues for years.

I have been honest about wanting a relationship when he is ready, but I'm really confused with the mixed messages he sends me. I asked about setting boundaries we both agree on, but Tony says he doesn't need any and that I should do what I feel is right for me. This leaves me feeling I'd be being used if the situation becomes intimate.

I have drawn the boundary at no sex unless we are in a relationship. Tony treats me like a friend and wants to hug or kiss me at times. I feel that because we don't currently want the same relationship, I should move on. What is your advice? -- ON HOLD IN OHIO

DEAR ON HOLD: I am sorry you didn't mention how Tony's anger issues manifest themselves. If they are so severe that he acts out, he does need professional help. You have wisely postponed having (more) sex with him without some kind of commitment, which he's unwilling to make.

From what you have written, your son's father isn't interested in more than a friendly relationship with you so he can have one with his son. While I admire that, I do NOT think you should plan on a future with him, or you could end up waiting forever.

DEAR ABBY: My spouse and I have been happily married for 31 years. However, we have a strained relationship with our daughter "Willa." Although we don't like her pothead/never-held-a-job boyfriend of four years, we've tried to accept him. We even paid for a family vacation and included him.

I'll admit we were hard on Willa growing up, but we always said she could live at home while going to school. She's a hard worker, and we have told her how proud we are of her accomplishments. She's going to school, works two jobs and has never needed anything from us.

We see our daughter only on special occasions. We did family therapy to help our relationship, but she stopped going when the boyfriend came into the picture. My question is: How can I have a good relationship with my daughter? -- MISSING IT IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR MISSING IT: You created a daughter who is self-reliant, hardworking and independent, and who likely distanced herself from you because you were so "hard" on her while she was growing up. I don't know whether I should congratulate you or commiserate with you, but as far as having a close relationship with your daughter, that ship may have sailed -- unless you can convince Willa to get back into family therapy with you.

DEAR ABBY: How do I handle an elderly aunt who has a gambling problem? I live in a town with casinos. She lives in another state four hours away. She calls me often to ask to stay with me, and if I am traveling, she asks to use my house, etc.

A year ago, she called me to help her get excluded from gambling in the state where she lives because she was out of control. She can no longer gamble where she lives, cannot afford a hotel to go to towns with a casino and sees me as her gambling getaway.

I have explained that I have a roommate, and my place is small. I have no interest in someone who spends hours at a craps table coming into my home (I'm health conscious), and I flat out cannot accommodate her as a guest. She won't give up! Is my only option to end communication with her? -- NOT BETTING ON HER

DEAR NOT BETTING: Screening her calls is one option. The other is to keep repeating your mantra that you cannot accommodate her because you have a roommate and your place is too small. Then encourage her to find another hobby. If you do, she may stop asking you and look for another enabler.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in middle school and part of a large friend group. I have one friend, "Kaleigh," who completely changed last year because of the influence of another girl. Kaleigh started saying inappropriate things and talking only about boys. She never did that before she became "best friends" with the other girl. It has ruined both of their reputations.

I can't decide if I should confront them and, if I did, what to say. I don't want either of them to be mad at me. We have had arguments before, and it ends up bad for the group when anyone gets into an argument with them. They also frequently get into arguments with each other, and somehow the whole group gets involved.

This has been going on for a year, and it has put a strain on the group. I don't know if I can handle more of this. I am not sure they will be easy to reason with if I confront them. What should I do? -- MORE DRAMA IN TENNESSEE

DEAR MORE DRAMA: You stated that you are part of a large friend group. You can't "save" or change Kaleigh, and telling her she is ruining her reputation may come across as jealousy. Rather than confront them, start concentrating on friendships with other girls in the group. One thing I have realized over the years is you can never have enough friends.

DEAR READERS: Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and no Thanksgiving would be complete without sharing the traditional prayer penned by my dear late mother:

Oh, Heavenly Father,

We thank Thee for food and remember the hungry.

We thank Thee for health and remember the sick.

We thank Thee for friends and remember the friendless.

We thank Thee for freedom and remember the enslaved.

May these remembrances stir us to service.

That Thy gifts to us may be used for others.

Amen.

Have a happy and safe celebration, everyone! -- Love, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I've been with my husband for 10 years. For a long time, I didn't decorate our house because I didn't want to spend the money. But for the last few years, I've spent many hours poring over Pinterest. I LOVE interior decorating and know exactly how I want each room of the house to look.

The problem is my husband. I once tried to buy a new shower curtain. It was a huge debacle because he didn't like the one I'd chosen. Abby, I have done my homework. How do I convince my husband to give me free rein in decorating? I'm afraid every paint color and every piece of furniture is going to be an argument, and I'm so discouraged I don't even try.

We've had the same curtains, bedding and dining room table for years, and our house is very ugly. Should I just start making changes without consulting him? Should I sit him down and talk to him? Is it fair of me to not take his preferences into account? -- FRUSTRATED CREATIVE

DEAR FRUSTRATED: By all means, discuss this with your husband before making any changes. Under no circumstances should you make any without consulting him. It would be extremely unfair to ignore his opinion. Some compromises will have to be made. The least contentious way to accomplish this would be with the help of a professional decorator who can take both your preferences into account and help you to blend them.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for 16 years, together for 22. He's the love of my life, my sunshine and roses. He's a great husband and an even better father.

You are probably wondering why on earth I'm writing to you. Well, his teeth are disgusting. They are stained, chipped and just gross. He is overcoming some self-esteem issues regarding his weight. He has lost a good bit, and I'm super proud of him, but how do I say, "Great job! But there's still something wrong with you"?

For the record, his weight means nothing to me. I never pushed him to be "slim" or "buff," but rather to be healthy and have enough stamina to keep up with our kids and get off the CPAP machine. Money and the dental expenses aren't an issue, but he would rather spend extra money doing fun things as a family, making memories and having adventures, which is great. I just wish he could have a nice smile while doing it. Advice? -- NOT QUITE PERFECT IN OHIO

DEAR NOT QUITE: Because your husband's teeth are a turn-off, you are going to have to address the problem. Wait until he is at or near his goal weight, then tell him that although you adore him, you would find him more kissable if he would deal with his dental issue. Tell him that putting it off may make the problem more difficult to fix. Your family dentist may be able to help or refer him to a good cosmetic dentist.