DEAR ABBY: I was recently invited for a long weekend at my friend's new home in South Carolina. She has wanted me to come there to visit ever since she purchased it. I offered to come down, but then I sprained my ankle, and it still has not healed.

My friend then told me her daughter and son-in-law will be there with their two young children. She said we can babysit her grandchildren while I'm there when her daughter and son-in-law go out. I told her I don't want to go down there to babysit. I have no children and do not enjoy babysitting. She used to do this to me before she moved. Now she's upset that I won't help her. What should I do? -- NOT INTERESTED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR NOT INTERESTED: What you do is this: Repeat to your manipulative friend that your ankle is still healing, it is difficult to get around and you are unable to chase after young children. Tell her that when you are better you would love to see her place and visit one on one. Then stick to your guns.

DEAR ABBY: I am a male singer and guitarist who has been playing in small local venues most of my life. My new duo partner is a nice person and decent multi-instrumentalist. The problem is that he cannot -- and should not -- sing, though he believes he is a fine vocalist.

His new girlfriend recently confided to me that she feels he shouldn't sing because it is damaging to our joint reputation and to my own as a musician. She doesn't know how to tell him or whether she should. I don't know how to tell him either without risking our partnership, although at this point, any gigs we acquire will be one-offs because of the poor vocal performance that will result.

Over the years, I have failed auditions and learned from constructive criticism. Should I tell him or try to dissolve our duo gently? -- OLD CANADIAN ROCKER

DEAR ROCKER: Your relationship with this partner isn't social; it is business. He is in denial about his limited abilities. Bursting his bubble by enlightening him that his singing is holding you back will not endear you to him. It would be best to dissolve the partnership as kindly as you can and find a replacement.

DEAR ABBY: My parents are starting to get older and have a number of health issues. I am one of three children now in our 40s. My parents got an attorney to write their will and have cut one child out completely. They decided to give another child two-thirds of their estate while leaving me with only one-third. They claim the reason is that my sister will be responsible for their health when and if they get to that point. We aren't talking about lots of money, but I don't know what I should do. -- NOT THE FAVORITE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR NOT THE FAVORITE: What you should do is accept your parents' reasoning, as well as their generosity, and not argue about it. Be grateful, because doing otherwise will get you nowhere.

DEAR ABBY: My son's father, "Tony," and I dated for two years before our son was born. We split up seven years ago, and it's been on and off most of the time since then. This past year we have been growing closer again, and I asked him what he wants. Tony said he doesn't want a romantic relationship with anyone right now because he is working on his anger issues. He's a former combat Marine, and he's had these issues for years.

I have been honest about wanting a relationship when he is ready, but I'm really confused with the mixed messages he sends me. I asked about setting boundaries we both agree on, but Tony says he doesn't need any and that I should do what I feel is right for me. This leaves me feeling I'd be being used if the situation becomes intimate.

I have drawn the boundary at no sex unless we are in a relationship. Tony treats me like a friend and wants to hug or kiss me at times. I feel that because we don't currently want the same relationship, I should move on. What is your advice? -- ON HOLD IN OHIO

DEAR ON HOLD: I am sorry you didn't mention how Tony's anger issues manifest themselves. If they are so severe that he acts out, he does need professional help. You have wisely postponed having (more) sex with him without some kind of commitment, which he's unwilling to make.

From what you have written, your son's father isn't interested in more than a friendly relationship with you so he can have one with his son. While I admire that, I do NOT think you should plan on a future with him, or you could end up waiting forever.

DEAR ABBY: My spouse and I have been happily married for 31 years. However, we have a strained relationship with our daughter "Willa." Although we don't like her pothead/never-held-a-job boyfriend of four years, we've tried to accept him. We even paid for a family vacation and included him.

I'll admit we were hard on Willa growing up, but we always said she could live at home while going to school. She's a hard worker, and we have told her how proud we are of her accomplishments. She's going to school, works two jobs and has never needed anything from us.

We see our daughter only on special occasions. We did family therapy to help our relationship, but she stopped going when the boyfriend came into the picture. My question is: How can I have a good relationship with my daughter? -- MISSING IT IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR MISSING IT: You created a daughter who is self-reliant, hardworking and independent, and who likely distanced herself from you because you were so "hard" on her while she was growing up. I don't know whether I should congratulate you or commiserate with you, but as far as having a close relationship with your daughter, that ship may have sailed -- unless you can convince Willa to get back into family therapy with you.

DEAR ABBY: How do I handle an elderly aunt who has a gambling problem? I live in a town with casinos. She lives in another state four hours away. She calls me often to ask to stay with me, and if I am traveling, she asks to use my house, etc.

A year ago, she called me to help her get excluded from gambling in the state where she lives because she was out of control. She can no longer gamble where she lives, cannot afford a hotel to go to towns with a casino and sees me as her gambling getaway.

I have explained that I have a roommate, and my place is small. I have no interest in someone who spends hours at a craps table coming into my home (I'm health conscious), and I flat out cannot accommodate her as a guest. She won't give up! Is my only option to end communication with her? -- NOT BETTING ON HER

DEAR NOT BETTING: Screening her calls is one option. The other is to keep repeating your mantra that you cannot accommodate her because you have a roommate and your place is too small. Then encourage her to find another hobby. If you do, she may stop asking you and look for another enabler.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in middle school and part of a large friend group. I have one friend, "Kaleigh," who completely changed last year because of the influence of another girl. Kaleigh started saying inappropriate things and talking only about boys. She never did that before she became "best friends" with the other girl. It has ruined both of their reputations.

I can't decide if I should confront them and, if I did, what to say. I don't want either of them to be mad at me. We have had arguments before, and it ends up bad for the group when anyone gets into an argument with them. They also frequently get into arguments with each other, and somehow the whole group gets involved.

This has been going on for a year, and it has put a strain on the group. I don't know if I can handle more of this. I am not sure they will be easy to reason with if I confront them. What should I do? -- MORE DRAMA IN TENNESSEE

DEAR MORE DRAMA: You stated that you are part of a large friend group. You can't "save" or change Kaleigh, and telling her she is ruining her reputation may come across as jealousy. Rather than confront them, start concentrating on friendships with other girls in the group. One thing I have realized over the years is you can never have enough friends.

DEAR READERS: Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and no Thanksgiving would be complete without sharing the traditional prayer penned by my dear late mother:

Oh, Heavenly Father,

We thank Thee for food and remember the hungry.

We thank Thee for health and remember the sick.

We thank Thee for friends and remember the friendless.

We thank Thee for freedom and remember the enslaved.

May these remembrances stir us to service.

That Thy gifts to us may be used for others.

Amen.

Have a happy and safe celebration, everyone! -- Love, ABBY