DEAR ABBY: I think the world of "Celia," my best friend of 25 years. She has been there for me through many major ups and downs in my life. She is beautiful inside and out, well-educated and works hard.

Celia has been in a five-year relationship with an old friend I'll call "Vince." I think he is a nice guy, but not for her. He has no desire to do better in life, doesn't provide for her and lives off her money. Vince barely works, and his time is spent out and about enjoying himself while Celia works two, sometimes three, jobs.

Now Celia's physical health is suffering, and so is her mental health. Vince has a kid who sometimes stays over, and when they run out of money, Celia asks me to help cover them. She sees nothing wrong in this and wants to have a child of her own with him.

I have had many talks with Celia, but they go nowhere. I've helped with money a few times and she always pays me back. But recently, after she asked me for money for food for the three of them, I learned they went to the movies instead. Now I feel used. This is just not OK. I no longer want to give her money to cover a grown man's responsibility. I'm not sure how to tell her I can no longer help out with money. -- STRAINED FRIENDSHIP

DEAR STRAINED: Celia may be well-educated, but it appears she has serious self-esteem issues, little common sense and a parasite for a boyfriend. That she would consider having a child with Vince, a man who can't support himself or the child he already has, is coconuts! Tell your beautiful friend that while you care for her, you will no longer subsidize the three of them, and using your money to pay for movie tickets was the last straw. Then don't relent.

DEAR ABBY: I taught tennis lessons at a private club for 41 years. Then came the pandemic. I was furloughed and not asked to return to work. I wasn't given the usual parting acknowledgement that previous employees received -- no goodbyes, no thank yous.

In the successive years, I have asked for a free membership as a gift for my years of service. So far, the answer is "no." Is my request valid? Should I continue asking? -- SERVING FAIRNESS IN ILLINOIS

DEAR SERVING: You didn't mention how many times you have asked for the membership as a gift for your years of service, but if it has been more than once, stop asking because it isn't going to happen. A furlough is defined as a temporary layoff for a specified period of time. Employees retain their jobs and benefits but do not get paid during that period. If this is what your separation from that private club was called, it may be time to speak to an attorney about how you were treated.

DEAR ABBY: My spouse and I (both women) have been together for 25 years. For half of them, we lived in the Middle East. We met while working as health care expatriates. My spouse is from South Africa and was raised very differently than I was.

When we finally returned to the U.S., we bought a house in a southern state where two of my brothers live. Over time, my spouse let me know she didn't want them to stay in our house when they came to visit. She preferred they stay in a hotel. She said she was disgusted that they might not shower before bed, and that our cats would be disturbed by their presence. I told her I thought her comments were rude, and I reminded her that sheets are always washed after visitors leave.

This has caused a lot of conflict in our relationship, and I'm not sure I can go on alienating and hurting my family by not welcoming them in my home. I love my spouse, but I love my family and friends too, and I want them to feel welcome. I am torn about what to do. -- PULLED IN TWO

DEAR PULLED: I don't know what your spouse has against having your brothers as houseguests, but her "reasons" for wanting them to stay in a hotel are excuses rather than reasons. As you stated, the sheets are washed and changed after guests leave. And cats are adaptable creatures. An alternative might be for your spouse to leave when your relatives come to visit, or for you to visit them instead.

DEAR ABBY: My sister passed away 11 months ago, just one month after a diagnosis of ovarian cancer. I loved her and miss her dearly. She told her husband and me that she wanted me to have specific belongings and her annuity that was in her name, but she did not have a will.

My brother-in-law has not given me anything that she requested be given to me. I haven't asked why, but I feel if I don't ask, he'll never give me an explanation. I realize that since she didn't have a will, he's not legally obligated to give me anything. It's really about trust, honesty and fulfilling her spoken wishes, but I guess he doesn't view it that way. I feel totally disrespected. Should I never ask him why and distance myself from him? -- DISAPPOINTED IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR DISAPPOINTED: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your sister. By ignoring her wishes, her husband isn't disrespecting you, he is disrespecting her. It's a shame your sister didn't have her wishes in writing, but she didn't, and you will have to accept it. Since you feel you need answers, ask him why he hasn't followed through on what your sister wanted. Depending upon his answer, decide whether to distance yourself then.

TO MY READERS: I wish you all a joyous, meaningful, healthy and safe Christmas. Merry Christmas, everyone! -- LOVE, ABBY

TO MY READERS: The eight days of the Jewish holiday of Hanukkah begin at sundown. Happy Hanukkah, everyone, and a joyous Festival of Lights to all of us! -- "LATKAS" OF LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: Six months ago, I began seeing a man I like very much but don't want to be intimate with. We are in our "young" 70s, and both of us were widowed two years ago after 50-year marriages. We agreed early on that neither of us will remarry.

We are affectionate, and he'll occasionally kiss my cheek, nape of my neck or forehead. We hug. That's as much as I want. I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings, but I'm worried he may want more intimacy, which I am not willing to give. What advice do you have for me? -- LIMITED IN INDIANA

DEAR LIMITED: Because you are sure you don't want an intimate relationship with this man and are being given signals that he may want more from you, talk frankly with him about it. You are both mature people, and it's the only fair way to handle a situation like this. You may find, to your relief, that you are misreading his intentions. If you aren't, he needs to know he's barking up the wrong tree.

DEAR ABBY: My father dated someone for several years. She broke up with him around five years ago. She's a pleasant person, so we stay in touch via Christmas cards. Recently, she texted me that she was sending me a box of mementos, including pictures from their relationship. I was away on business, so I didn't have a chance to respond.

The shoebox arrived this morning, and I just received a text from her asking if I had received it. Honestly, I feel this was inappropriate because the relationship was between my father and her. I believe she should have sent the items to him instead. How should I respond? -- ONLY THE SON IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR ONLY THE SON: Respond by telling the woman the box arrived. She may have sent it to you because she wanted no more direct contact with your father. Call your dad, tell him his ex-girlfriend sent the mementos to you, ask if he wants them or would prefer you dispose of them and then follow his guidance.

DEAR ABBY: I have been happily single for most of my life, and I treasure the friendship and company of my other women friends. My question concerns a situation that happens frequently when one of them starts dating or marries. They seem to feel I should enjoy the company of BOTH of them together from then on. My response has been to refuse any invitations, but it feels rude and impolite. I would appreciate your advice, and thank you! -- SINGLE LADY IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR SINGLE LADY: Running away isn't the answer. Instead of cutting off these women without explanation when they become involved in a romantic relationship, it would make more sense to point out to them that women (and men) communicate differently when members of the opposite sex are present. It's the truth. Couples don't have to be joined at the hip 100% of the time, and, in fact, it's healthier for their relationship when they sometimes socialize as individuals.