DEAR ABBY: I've been in a relationship with a man for the last five years. "Julian" came into my life after my husband passed. He is 65; I'm 45. Julian has two grown daughters, 36 and 27. The older one and I get along famously.

Amber is somewhat immature. She has two small kids, and she's her dad's perfect, precious, can-do-no-wrong daughter. The unvarnished truth is that Amber is a snotty, judgmental woman who thinks she's better than everyone. Because Julian wasn't there while she was growing up, his guilt makes it especially hard for him to see her for who she is.

Amber and I do not care for each other, and the cracks are starting to show. She is becoming a bone of contention in the relationship because I cannot stand how she uses guilt to manipulate her dad. He was always a caring father and a good provider, if not always there physically.

I am at my wits' end. She is driving a wedge into an otherwise good relationship. When I try speaking with Julian, he will hear nothing against her. I get that it's his kid, but I am sick of her. The worst part is when she plays it off like she is innocent and perfect. Any advice? -- HAD IT IN THE WEST

DEAR HAD IT: Yes, I do have some. As you stated, in Julian's eyes, his "little girl" is perfect and precious. You are not going to win this battle, so start backing off and find a new direction -- or a new boyfriend. Please accept my sympathy.

DEAR ABBY: After I retired and moved to a beach town, I invited my brother and sister-in-law to visit. They said they had a really good time, set up a tentative return visit and seemed appreciative. I'm used to living alone, so having people always around was uncomfortable for me. They are retired but work part time.

One of my brother's jobs is with the company of a friend of mine where he had done some work in the past. I reconnected them, and my brother really enjoys it. But now he's pressuring me to invite that friend and his wife to come here and stay at my place.

I think it's out of line for anyone to suggest I invite anyone else to stay here. I wouldn't have invited my brother and sister-in-law except that he's family. (He actually gets on my nerves when I'm around him for long.) I ignored his suggestion and will continue unless he brings it up again. Is a nonresponse acceptable? -- HESITANT HOST IN TEXAS

DEAR HOST: A nonresponse is a strong "hint" that someone is not receptive to a request or a suggestion. If your brother raises the subject again, however, you will have to make it plain that you are not open to having anyone outside your immediate family stay in your home with you.

DEAR READERS: Welcome to 2025. A New Year has arrived; the last one is safely behind us. As always, this New Year brings with it our hopes for a new beginning.

Today presents an opportunity to discard destructive old habits for healthy new ones, and with that in mind, I will share Dear Abby's often-requested list of New Year's Resolutions -- which were adapted by my late mother, Pauline Phillips, from the original credo of Al-Anon:

JUST FOR TODAY: I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once. I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will decide to be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things that I can correct and accept those I cannot.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. I will not be a mental loafer.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, and I'll not speak ill of others. I will improve my appearance, speak softly and not interrupt when someone else is talking. Just for today, I will refrain from improving anybody but myself.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will do something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll quit. And I will get off the couch and take a brisk walk, even if it's only around the block.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will gather the courage to do what is right and take responsibility for my own actions.

And now, Dear Readers, allow me to share an item that was sent to me by L.J. Bhatia, a reader from New Delhi, India:

DEAR ABBY: This year, no resolutions, only some guidelines. The Holy Vedas say, "Man has subjected himself to thousands of self-inflicted bondages. Wisdom comes to a man who lives according to the true eternal laws of nature."

The prayer of St. Francis (of which there are several versions) contains a powerful message:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

And where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

To be understood, as to understand;

To be loved, as to love;

For it is in giving that we receive,

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

And so, Dear Readers, may 2025 bring with it good health, peace and joy to all of us. -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I am a widow of two decades who has raised a family in an old historic home in a small island town. In the course of renovating and maintaining the home, a father-and-son electrician team have been like family.

During the past year or so, the dad, who is in his late 70s (older than I am) has started making unwanted romantic overtures in the form of suggestive or lovey-dovey texts, emails, phone calls, invitations to lunch or cocktails and professions of having harbored "secret fantasies" while working for me throughout the years. What's even worse is that his romantic partner of decades is in a mid-range stage of dementia.

I find this annoying and insulting, and I have politely discouraged or tried to deflect his overtures with humor. Fortunately, he does not live on the island, but if he sees my car in town, he begs me to meet up for a "quick hug."

Electricians of his caliber are rare, and I really can't afford to lose him. His moonlighting rates have always been a "friends and family" deal. His son has taken a job with a big outfit and is rarely available. How do I pull the plug on the dad's amorous advances, without him blowing a fuse? -- EXTINGUISHED IN MAINE

DEAR EXTINGUISHED: Tell this man in plain English that you think he is a terrific friend, but you are morally opposed to involving yourself romantically with anyone whose partner is ill. He needs to hear it.

DEAR ABBY: My mom and two sisters constantly complain about their physical ailments. None of them has been evaluated or diagnosed by a physician. They have tried repeatedly to treat themselves with outdated advice and cure-alls that aren't backed by scientific information.

I have tried to express to them the importance of proper nutrition and resistance training, since building and keeping muscle is so important as we age. Abby, I'm no expert, but I have transformed my body and my life with those simple rules. My mom and sisters are so defensive and dismissive of my advice, I've all but given up trying to talk to them.

If they won't at least try something new to feel better, how can I deal with their constant complaining? Do I keep suggesting the same things to them? Do I ignore their complaints? -- FAMILY HELPER IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR HELPER: Because trying to guide your mother and your sisters toward a healthier lifestyle hasn't worked and has become a source of frustration for you, stop trying to help. They have tuned you out, and your efforts are wasted. A step in the right direction would be to ignore their complaints and change the subject rather than give them advice they won't follow.

DEAR READERS: Oh, how quickly the past year has flown! I wish you all a happy, healthy and successful 2025. I join you tonight in toasting a New Year that will be filled with hope for all of us. If you are celebrating tonight, please take measures to protect not only your own health but also the safety of others. Happy New Year, everyone! -- LOVE, ABBY