DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been friends with another couple for 15 years. We would see each other once or twice a week, alternating between each other's home and occasionally out to dinner, where we took turns paying the bill.
Advertisement
Three years ago, we bought our dream home, and since then, our friends have stopped inviting us over to theirs. We have invited them countless times as we enjoy their company, but they have stopped reciprocating. They are also less likely to pick up the tab when we go out.
Once, we went three months without seeing each other. I wanted to see how long it would be until they reached out. They never did, so I relented and invited them over. They happily accepted the invite, and we had the good time we always do.
We spare no expense on food, alcohol and desserts when they come over, which we are happy to do, but this has become extremely inequitable. It's not a matter of money -- they earn the same amount as we do.
We have fun together, but I'm seriously starting to resent them for not making an effort toward our friendship. I am starting to wonder if maybe they aren't really good friends and I should just give up, which really saddens me. Have you any advice? -- MOVED OUT OF FRIENDSHIP
DEAR MOVED: You stated that for more than a decade you and this couple lived in homes that were similar, until you moved away and upgraded your lifestyle. Has it never occurred to you that the reason these friends no longer invite you to their home may be because they are embarrassed about the comparison? They could also be jealous.
Consider telling them you always enjoyed visiting them and would like to do it again. Then cross your fingers and hope they'll take you up on it. You stated that this couple has the same amount of income that you have, but it is unwise to count other people's money.