DEAR ABBY: I recently realized that my sister-in-law has been kissing my boyfriend on the mouth every time she greets him. We all live in the same town and get together for dinners and events often. I love my SIL and don't believe she would ever do anything to hurt me or my brother. Our families and my mom are all close.

This all came to light after a recent dinner where my brother noticed this kiss (and a cheek rub) and questioned her. My boyfriend told me about it and doesn't think it's a big deal. He says it would be rude to present his cheek instead. I told him I'm not comfortable with this, and that it wouldn't be rude to implement a boundary.

I'm trying not to make this into a major issue, but I'm angry at both my SIL and my boyfriend for not telling me about this sooner. I feel betrayed, and now I'm feeling suspicious. I have toyed with asking her to stop, but it seems kind of juvenile and insecure to mention it to her. Please give me your honest, unbiased take. -- TAKEN ABACK IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR TAKEN ABACK: Because this bothers you so much that you would write to me about it, say something about it to your sister-in-law. Tell her it may be innocent, but the idea of anyone other than you kissing your boyfriend on the mouth makes you uncomfortable, which is why you are asking her to stop. Your feelings are your feelings, and you needn't apologize for them.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 12, and I am dating a boy from my class. I know what you're thinking, but no, we have not had sex or kissed, and he is not pressuring me to. My problem is something else -- TEXTING! He texts me every morning and chats all day. He often texts in the middle of an activity like going to the beach or flying a kite, and actually apologizes for going into the water and stopping the texting.

I can't spend that much time in contact because I have other things in my life. While I really like him, I don't want to spend this much time texting ANYONE. Plus, our conversations are getting boring because neither of us has anything more to say.

Abby, I feel guilty for not being able to keep up the conversations. He has an active social life, so it's not like he's depending on me for entertainment. He's a really nice guy. There's just this texting issue. What should I do? -- TOO MUCH CONTACT IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR TOO MUCH: Be completely honest with the boy. Tell him you think he's a really nice guy and you like him, but that you have things you need to be doing other than constantly texting. (It's the truth.) Then give him some times when you would welcome his texts. This is called creating boundaries, and starting at your age, it's really good practice.

DEAR ABBY: My younger sister and I were close growing up. We didn't have many friends, but we were always willing to play games and have fun with each other. At one point, my sister said she wanted to marry me when we grew up. I didn't think much of it because we were still kids, and I figured she didn't know there were different types of love.

As we grew older, we did make our own friends, and today I'm engaged to my longtime girlfriend. My sister and my fiancee got along great during the years we were still just "boyfriend and girlfriend," but after we announced our engagement, my sister became hostile.

As it turns out, my sister took her intention to marry me seriously, and even as we got older and she understood the difference between familial and romantic love, she carried a torch for me well into her teens.

I would like my little sister to be part of the wedding because of how important she's been to me, but she stubbornly insists on "winning me back" from my fiancee. Is there a way to explain the reality of this situation, or are our sibling bonds done for good? -- TERRIFIED SIBLING IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR TERRIFIED: Your sister is in need of the services of a mental health professional to rid herself of her fixation on you. She should not be part of your wedding because her presence under the circumstances could be disruptive. If she attends at all, someone should be assigned to remove her if she becomes disruptive. Perhaps your sibling bond can be reestablished later, but don't bank on it.

DEAR ABBY: I am dating a man I'll call Lionel. He's living with me temporarily (and paying half the rent) while I get back on my feet because I was recently laid off.

Lionel was previously in an 18-year relationship that ended three years ago when his ex threw him out. She still asks him to pay for things, including an $1,800 credit card bill she ran up. He tells me he's "obliged" to do it, which makes me suspect he's still in love with her. Although Lionel claims he loves me, he still does things like this for her. I'm not sure what to think, and I'm no longer sure I should be with him. Am I wrong for being upset? -- PERPLEXED IN NEVADA

DEAR PERPLEXED: Lionel seems to be a generous person. If he is living with you to ease your financial burden since the layoff, I think you should be grateful. I don't know why he feels obligated to pay off his ex's credit card bill, and you didn't mention the reason.

Calmly discuss this with him before deciding whether this is worth ending the relationship over. If it's a one-time thing, let it slide at least until you find another job. However, if he is forever tied to the woman, find another roommate.

DEAR ABBY: I am a middle-aged slender woman born into a family of women who have always struggled with weight. Ever since I can remember, I have been subjected to nasty jibes and microaggressions regarding my weight.

My siblings have always kept a close eye on my waistline for clues that I could be gaining. They have also bullied and excluded me, and I have long suspected the reason has something to do with my weight. Depending on my lifestyle and the season, my weight fluctuates by about 10 pounds.

When traveling family members visit, I always hear, "You're so skinny! I'm so jealous!" Or, if I have put on a few pounds, "You look really healthy!" None of the other women in my family are on the receiving end of these unwelcome comments, and I feel objectified and embarrassed by all this.

I am more than a body. I'm a kind and caring human being who just wants to be accepted and respected by family members I love, despite their annoying comments. How can I get them to stop seeing me as a body and start seeing me as the caring human being I am? I want those comments to stop. -- THIN IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR THIN: It may be time to approach these relatives head-on and say something like this:

"For years I have watched you struggle unsuccessfully with your weight. Frankly, it has made me feel guilty for being thin. It's possible that I was born with a higher metabolism than the rest of you, which is not my fault. In all this time, I have never commented about your weight. So please, from now on, quit commenting about mine, because I find it embarrassing for all of us."

DEAR ABBY: My husband hates my special needs sister. He allowed her to come on one short vacation but said she was awful, annoying and a bad influence on the kids. She doesn't curse or do anything inappropriate. She is lazy and obese, but the kids love her and asked for her to come. He also screams at me if she calls, which she does sometimes because I'm her legal guardian and manage her funds. He wants me to stop doing it and turn her over completely to the state.

I love my sister, and it breaks my heart that he hates her, doesn't want her to visit once a year for a few days and accuses me of not caring about his feelings or listening to him. He's under a lot of stress and just hates having her around him. Must I cut ties with my sister to make him happy? -- PULLED IN TWO IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR PULLED: It appears you married a selfish, unsupportive, controlling man who lacks empathy for people with disabilities. I hope you won't cave in to his demands and desert your sister who needs you. He has no right to berate you for fulfilling a family obligation. If he can't stand having her visit, perhaps he should take a small vacation during the few days she's with you. Draw the line and insist upon it before he swallows you up entirely.