DEAR ABBY: I recently married an old high school flame after 30 years apart. Since we are both in our 50s, we wanted a low-key ceremony -- no wedding, no fuss, just us, madly in love and doing our thing. My older sister, the only person we told, begged me to be included -- "At least let me sign as witness. At least let me bring a cake. At least let me do flowers." We took her with us to the courthouse, and she took many pictures, which will be cherished.

The problem started after the courthouse ceremony when she insisted we go celebrate. Although we had made other plans, we agreed. Well, one bar turned into her taking charge, getting way too drunk, demanding we do this and that, and going to another place. We shut her down and returned to the hotel to eat the cake we didn't ask for.

She drank more, was too drunk to drive, then passed out for six hours. When she finally came to, she was "so embarrassed" and left. So, instead of the magical day (and night) we had planned, we fell asleep because we had early plans the next day. Problem is, I cannot forgive her. I don't even want to see her. How can I get past this? -- UNHAPPY BRIDE IN FLORIDA

DEAR BRIDE: OK, your sister has a drinking problem. If this was the first time you noticed, I can understand why the situation became out of control. If it wasn't, then "get past this" by recognizing your part in what happened. After the ceremony, when your sister wanted to go "celebrate," you and your husband should have told her that what she was proposing wasn't what you had planned, and parted ways.

DEAR ABBY: I have had a friend for many years. We're from the same hometown and enjoyed getting together weekly for Saturday morning breakfasts and long chats about our highlights and sometimes our lows. We considered each other best friends.

Several years ago, she found a boyfriend (also a retired person), and since then, she no longer makes time for our get-togethers. It has been two years since she could make it for a meal or a glass of wine or a quick drop-by chat. Now when we do talk on the phone, it's limited to a "How are you? I am fine" kind of conversation.

Although I continue sending cards and dropping off a holiday gift like we used to, there's barely any acknowledgment. I no longer feel inclined to keep up one-sided, frustrating phone contacts. Must I just let it all go, fade into the distance and be satisfied that this has run its course? -- LEFT BEHIND IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR LEFT BEHIND: Your friend's life has moved in a different direction. Because she is now devoting her energy to the relationship she has with her boyfriend, the answer to your question is yes.

DEAR ABBY: A few years ago, we were invited to my cousin's eldest daughter's wedding. Although my cousin and I are close, I barely know the daughter. We were invited only because my cousin wanted me there. The wedding was out of town, which necessitated a motel stay, meals and gas, in addition to a generous cash gift. The cash gift was what the couple had requested, since they had been living together and didn't need household items.

Our check was cashed two days after the wedding, but we never got a thank-you. Three months later, I ran into the bride's mother and asked how the happy couple was doing. I also mentioned that we never received an acknowledgment of our gift. She responded that her daughter had been busy and "apparently she didn't have the time" to send thank-yous.

Two years later, the same scenario unfolded when daughter No. 2 got married, and the mother offered the same exact excuse for her daughter's poor manners. We have now received a "save the date" card for daughter No. 3. I'm curious -- what would you do? -- UNTHANKED IN INDIANA

DEAR UNTHANKED: If I felt close to the daughter, I would attend the wedding. I would give her a gift, recognizing that it probably would not be acknowledged because the girls were never taught the social graces. But I wouldn't preemptively penalize daughter No. 3 for the sin of omission committed by her sisters.

DEAR ABBY: My first marriage lasted 31 years. He was a nice man but a lousy husband. He died after a long illness. A year later, I started dating, met another man and fell in love. We dated for a year before he proposed marriage. Two months before the wedding, I called it off because he lacked communication skills and was pretty selfish. His comment was, "We talk at the dinner table. What more do you want?" The next day, I told him it was over.

Other than that one issue, we got along well. He spoiled me. We traveled together, and he bought me beautiful jewelry. But he would send endless texts and never reply to mine. He didn't return voicemails I left for him either. When I returned the engagement rings and some jewelry to him, he told me to keep it.

I have asked him to leave me alone and stop contacting me. He still texts me about how much he misses me, but he does nothing to fix this. I'm trying to move on, but every time I hear from him, it's painful. I miss him. How can I let go of the hope that he will one day change? -- UNENGAGED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR UNENGAGED: You and this man may have enjoyed each other, but you don't seem to speak the same language. It's time you accepted that he isn't going to change. If you can't accept him and his flaws, assuage the pain of hearing from him by blocking his texts while you look for a better communicator.

DEAR ABBY: I recently realized that my sister-in-law has been kissing my boyfriend on the mouth every time she greets him. We all live in the same town and get together for dinners and events often. I love my SIL and don't believe she would ever do anything to hurt me or my brother. Our families and my mom are all close.

This all came to light after a recent dinner where my brother noticed this kiss (and a cheek rub) and questioned her. My boyfriend told me about it and doesn't think it's a big deal. He says it would be rude to present his cheek instead. I told him I'm not comfortable with this, and that it wouldn't be rude to implement a boundary.

I'm trying not to make this into a major issue, but I'm angry at both my SIL and my boyfriend for not telling me about this sooner. I feel betrayed, and now I'm feeling suspicious. I have toyed with asking her to stop, but it seems kind of juvenile and insecure to mention it to her. Please give me your honest, unbiased take. -- TAKEN ABACK IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR TAKEN ABACK: Because this bothers you so much that you would write to me about it, say something about it to your sister-in-law. Tell her it may be innocent, but the idea of anyone other than you kissing your boyfriend on the mouth makes you uncomfortable, which is why you are asking her to stop. Your feelings are your feelings, and you needn't apologize for them.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 12, and I am dating a boy from my class. I know what you're thinking, but no, we have not had sex or kissed, and he is not pressuring me to. My problem is something else -- TEXTING! He texts me every morning and chats all day. He often texts in the middle of an activity like going to the beach or flying a kite, and actually apologizes for going into the water and stopping the texting.

I can't spend that much time in contact because I have other things in my life. While I really like him, I don't want to spend this much time texting ANYONE. Plus, our conversations are getting boring because neither of us has anything more to say.

Abby, I feel guilty for not being able to keep up the conversations. He has an active social life, so it's not like he's depending on me for entertainment. He's a really nice guy. There's just this texting issue. What should I do? -- TOO MUCH CONTACT IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR TOO MUCH: Be completely honest with the boy. Tell him you think he's a really nice guy and you like him, but that you have things you need to be doing other than constantly texting. (It's the truth.) Then give him some times when you would welcome his texts. This is called creating boundaries, and starting at your age, it's really good practice.