Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: My son just told me his daughter, age 26, is getting breast enhancement surgery. My question is, how do I address that when next I see her, probably in several months? It's not like commenting on a new hair color or hairdo. Old men commenting on female anatomy, particularly that part, are not looked upon favorably.

As I see it, there are two ways that this goes. One, she mentions it to me -- probably not likely to happen. So, since she got the surgery to make a visible difference, how should I react? Two, she does not mention it. Without an introduction to the subject, I'm not sure I should make any response. Could my silence be perceived as a negative or as a lack of approval? I'd appreciate your help in formulating a response before it becomes necessary. -- COOL GRANDPA IN TEXAS

DEAR GRANDPA: If your granddaughter mentions it -- and she very well may -- tell her she looks terrific. Look her in the eye when you say it. If she does NOT raise the subject, play it cool and keep your lips zipped.

DEAR ABBY: For two years, I've been having an affair with my married neighbor, "Reed." All of a sudden, his stepdaughter broke up with her boyfriend because he cheated on her, and now Reed has broken it off with me -- saying he needs to be a role model to his kids. I'm sorry his daughter is hurting, but if she hadn't broken up with her boyfriend, Reed would still want this between us. Please tell me what I should do to get over him. -- CUT OFF IN FLORIDA

DEAR CUT OFF: Look inward. Examine the reason you started an affair with someone who was unavailable. While it may have been fun in the short term, if you wanted anything more, it was a sad waste of time. When Reed saw the pain his daughter's boyfriend's cheating caused her, I suspect he realized how much his behavior could affect his family. Or, he was tired of sneaking around. By ending this affair, he has done you both a favor. Once you recognize it, you can move on.

DEAR ABBY: Keith and I met online close to a year and a half ago. We live 400 miles apart and have visited each other a couple of times since. I'm a single mom in my mid-30s and live close to family. Keith's around the same age and lives very close to extended family of mine.

I have recently realized that I may be in love with him. I would like to confess my feelings and move to where he is if my feelings are reciprocated. How do I approach this subject? I'm tired of going through the motions. I need something good and constant in my life. I don't want to always wonder "what if?" -- READY TO TAKE A STEP

DEAR READY: Has Keith ever told you that he misses you after these visits? If he has, it would be an indication that your feelings are reciprocated. If he hasn't, start by telling him how much you have enjoyed your visits and that you miss him. How he responds is important because it may open the door to where you want to take your friendship.

DEAR ABBY: I have three kids. One of them, "Jake," is in his early 20s. He has medical issues, so he has always been babied to a certain degree. Jake has struggled with jobs, drugs, friends and places to live. Somehow, he always ends up back with me. I know I'm an enabler. I have kicked him out before, but I never give up on him. I try to be a positive role model because his father has never been in his life.

Due to his past mishaps, Jake has wronged a lot of people who now shun him. I lose quality time with my other kids because they refuse to be around him. I have a soft spot for my "black sheep" because I am the one in my family. I am pretty much the only one who helps him, and in his eyes, I'm the only one who "cares."

But I have finally reached the point where I feel he needs to grow up and stop jumping from job to job, house to house, friend to friend and calling me for help. How do I let him know without making him feel he is not wanted? I love him, but I am done being his enabler. -- REACHED THE POINT IN FLORIDA

DEAR REACHED: Tell Jake before his next crisis that you love him but are done being his enabler. Tell him his persistent problems are self-generated, and from now on he will have to solve them without involving you, which is what adults do, and that you are doing this for his own good. Then stick to it. To do this may require your talking with a therapist because it is almost guaranteed your son will be back trying to enlist your help. But it was your abundance of help that fostered his being in the situation he's in today.

DEAR ABBY: I worked for a supervisor for more than five years who hated me and let me and everyone else know it. She would bring treats for the crew but not for me. During my fifth year of working for her, I just lost it one day. She walked up to me and after some back and forth said, "F--- you!" I said it back to her, loud enough for everyone in the front office to hear.

It was a big mess, but I couldn't hold it in anymore. I'd been picked on and harassed and worked in a hostile work environment. Anyway, that supervisor was ultimately forced to retire, as were some of her favorites.

My problem now is that my ex-supervisor's friends who still work in the office are making it difficult for me not to curse them out as they are making snide remarks. I was told that if I had any more outbursts, I would be terminated immediately. I've even been to therapy. I don't know what else to do. Please help. -- PERSECUTED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR PERSECUTED: If you haven't already done so, start documenting those snide remarks. Then present them to the front office management or HR and point out that although the original abusers are gone, there are still employees creating a hostile work environment. If it isn't corrected, talk with an attorney. At the same time you are doing that, keep your eyes open for another job.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 29, and my boyfriend is 36. We met on a dating site and were together for three years. He broke up with me two months ago because he didn't think he could marry me. (We weren't engaged.) He says I'm the love of his life, soulmate and his dream come true, and I feel the same, but he has commitment issues.

When I met him, I was in the process of getting divorced and ending an abusive marriage. He was the best boyfriend, and, to us, our relationship was perfect. But his commitment issues gave him doubt that I'm the one he's supposed to be with.

I truly believe that God put him in my life. Something told me he was The One. How can I get him to see that we are meant to be and not to give up on the best relationship both of us have ever had? -- TRUE SOULMATE IN GEORGIA

DEAR SOULMATE: I love your sales pitch, but the person who has to buy it is him, and he's not in the market for a permanent attachment. Believe me, I sympathize, but both partners have to believe the other is "The One," and the urge to commit appears to be definitely one-sided here.

Remember, you met this man as you were getting out of an abusive relationship. He was kind; you pounced. It would be interesting to know if you received any kind of counseling after that prior relationship, because you may need some now to make sure you don't repeat an unhealthy pattern.

DEAR ABBY: I was fortunate to learn an uncommon hobby from my grandmother. Because I am the only grandchild who continued the hobby, I inherited her tools. I mainly keep in touch with my extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins) through social media, and, because of that, I post my work from time to time. They have expressed happiness that someone is continuing the hobby, so I want to continue sharing.

My problem is that several friends constantly nag me to sell them my items. I work full time, have a large family and volunteer at my kids' schools, so I have little time to devote to my hobby. Each item takes many hours to complete, and I don't want to sell them. Also, if I priced them appropriately for the time it takes to produce, the items would be costly.

I have told these friends repeatedly that I do this purely as a hobby, yet they continue to bombard my posts with demands that I sell to them. I don't want to "unfriend" these people. They are my friends and in other respects are wonderful. How can I get my message across to them? -- CRAFTY IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR CRAFTY: Tell your friends you are complimented that they would like to buy your creations, but after spending the amount of time you do creating them, they become like your "children." Point out that you would no more sell them than one of your kids, and they are not and never will be for sale. Say it with a smile, or a smile emoji. But do not relent. If the requests keep coming, limit with whom you share these images (i.e., only relatives).