Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: My partner and I have been together more than five years now. He has two adult children. I learned two days ago that I am pregnant. At 43 years old, I didn't think a child was in my future. But now that I'm pregnant, I couldn't be happier. I'm cautiously excited because I am unsure what my partner's reaction is going to be. I haven't shared with him that I'm expecting. How quickly do I need to tell him? -- PREGNANT PAUSE IN NEW YORK

DEAR PREGNANT: Tell your partner NOW, so you both can begin planning how to integrate this new little person into your household. If his reaction is positive, it will be the beginning of a happy journey. If his reaction is negative, and because babies are expensive, discuss what it may mean financially, which will enable you to prepare for raising the baby on your own with financial support from him.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 17 and will be turning 18 in six months. I can't wait to move out. My mother and I have a hard relationship. We argue every day. She's an addict, and it's sometimes difficult to talk to her. I feel like nothing I do will ever be good enough for her. I feel like I am walking on eggshells. I plan on moving out as soon as possible, but I need help dealing with these last few months with her. I feel like I am barely holding on. Please give me some advice. -- TORTURED TEEN IN INDIANA

DEAR TEEN: I am sorry for the stressful situation in which you find yourself. You certainly should extricate yourself as soon as you can. Are there other relatives who might be willing to have you stay with them until you graduate from high school and find a job? If there are, that would be ideal. If there aren't, start talking with a trusted teacher or counselor at school and explain what is happening because there may be resources in your community for young people from troubled homes.

DEAR ABBY: I am a retired man who, unfortunately, got caught up in an internet inheritance scam and lost all my money. I'm now broke and in debt. This is the worst thing that could have happened to me. I had to file for bankruptcy (Chapter 13).

Fortunately, my house is paid for, but I could lose my truck (my only means of transportation) if I can't keep up with my bankruptcy payments. I have medical issues and take a lot of medication, so I have to get to my doctors' appointments. The bankruptcy payments are high, and I'm afraid I won't be able to afford them soon. I was enjoying my retirement, and now I have nothing. I don't know what to do. What can you suggest? -- DETOURED IN WISCONSIN

DEAR DETOURED: I am sorry for your predicament. It may be possible to lower your Chapter 13 bankruptcy payments. If you can't afford to hire an attorney, contact the Legal Aid Society or a pro bono lawyer and ask for help. The laws can vary from state to state, and an attorney may be able to help you. I wish you success.

DEAR ABBY: My godchildren and I were always very close. They consider me literally their second mom. Until now, we were blessed with great communication. The oldest always sent me a warm Mother's Day greeting and called me often.

About a year ago, she started ignoring all of my overtures. Her younger sister, who is also grown with children, commented on how odd it was, but now she's doing it too. She said she thought it was terrible, but now she no longer returns phone calls. Once in a while, she'll send a loving text, but she says she is busy.

My godson, the one I am closest to, has no problems like this. When I ask if he thinks something is wrong with my girls or if their feelings toward me have changed, he says they are probably busy. When I ask the younger one if something is wrong, she always says, "No, love you, Mama! Been busy." But she no longer initiates contact. The older girl now ignores me completely. I don't know what to do. My grown godchildren are like my own. Please help. -- SAD GODMOTHER IN FLORIDA

DEAR GODMOTHER: You are taking the silence as rejection, which is a mistake. Your godchildren are no longer children. They are adults with adult responsibilities, including children, spouses and careers that fill their time. Your godson and younger goddaughter have told you why they're not in contact as often as they used to be. It's time to back off. Fill your time with other pursuits, such as activities you enjoy, time with contemporaries and volunteering your spare time to causes you feel are worthwhile.

DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law is living with us, and she and my husband are very good friends. They are a lot alike. They're outgoing and they're huggers and they talk a lot. I feel like a third wheel most of the time, but I occupy myself by reading in another part of the house or going out.

Everything seems to be going quite well, except that before bedtime, they embrace and give each other a quick kiss on the lips. I find it disgusting. I have told my husband how I feel about it, and he says, "It's my mom." I tell him, "I never even hugged my dad, let alone kissed him on the lips." I think I'm tired of her living with us. Do you think it's normal for them to be kissing? -- PUT OFF IN OREGON

DEAR PUT OFF: Whether I think it is appropriate for your husband's mother to kiss him on the mouth is irrelevant. I assume this is something she has done since he was a child, and therefore it is normal for them. Your relationship with your father has nothing to do with it. There is something wrong if you feel like a third wheel most of the time. It isn't healthy, and it will continue until you have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband about it.

DEAR ABBY: At 63, I am the youngest sister of four siblings. We grew up in the turmoil of Dad's alcoholism and hoarding, as well as physical and emotional abuse from both our parents.

One of my sisters, "June," was sexually assaulted by my brother. She's 71 now and hasn't worked since she was in her early 30s. She supports herself on Social Security and a pension from her ex-husband. Her ex-husband recently passed away, and the pension stopped. She now expects my sister and me to pay her rent because she's "too old to be working anymore."

Abby, June is perfectly capable of getting a part-time job. She refuses to apply for anything despite my telling her I will pay her rent for only two more months. My other sister, "Lisa," is guilting me by saying "we don't want to see her on the street."

I'm about to retire after working 48 years. I worked two jobs until I was 52. I'm extremely angry about the situation. Although I can afford it, I don't feel it should be my responsibility because June won't make any effort to help herself. Advice? -- SIBLING DRAMA IN NEW YORK

DEAR SIBLING DRAMA: Schedule a family discussion for yourself and your two sisters. At that time, tell them you are willing to help June and, IF she gets a part-time job, you would be willing to pay part of her rent IF Lisa will split the cost with you. Do this only if both your sisters are willing to make it a joint effort.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I always host every holiday. During each holiday before we eat, we say a Catholic mealtime prayer because we are religious. However, recently, my husband's nieces and nephews, who are in their early 20s, stopped participating in the prayer. I am OK with that, but they talk and mock our prayer while we are praying.

How can we handle this? Our children noticed how inappropriate they were. I understand if they don't want to participate, but shouldn't they sit quietly and respect us? I am against them coming into our home, mocking our religion and then putting out their hand for a gift. Thanks for any words of wisdom. -- FAITHFUL HOSTESS IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR HOSTESS: Wow. Your husband's nieces' and nephews' behavior is beyond rude. If they don't wish to join you in the pre-meal prayer, they absolutely should be respectful and sit quietly until you are finished. When it happens again, the first words out of your husband's mouth after "Amen" should be to tell them that what they're doing is rude and not appreciated. However, if he can't bring himself to do that, the ball will be in your court.

DEAR READERS: At sundown, the first night of Passover begins. This major Jewish holiday celebrates the most momentous event in Jewish history -- the liberation of the Jewish people from slavery in Egypt. Happy Passover to my readers who observe this important holiday. -- LOVE, ABBY