DEAR ABBY: My parents got into an argument because my father saw my mother looking at an old photo of herself from when she was younger. (It had been sent by her cousin via text.) In it, she was sitting next to "an ex-boyfriend or friend." My father thought it was disrespectful, but my mother didn't agree.

Mom thought it was trivial for him to get upset since she was only 18 or 19 and the photo was taken 45 years ago. It was way before my mother had even met my father. Later, she mentioned to Dad that she remembered seeing an old picture of him and his ex-wife dressed up for a concert. He denied it, and she didn't get upset.

She told me later she doesn't regret receiving the picture because she no longer has romantic feelings for my father. You see, my parents are not legally married; they are just roommates splitting the bills together. I don't know how to feel about this. I don't want to be involved, but they both have come to me separately expressing their feelings about it. What are your thoughts? -- IN THE MIDDLE IN TEXAS

DEAR IN THE MIDDLE: I suspect that your father was less upset about the arrival of that 45-year-old photo than he is about the fact that your mother no longer has romantic feelings for him. I also think you should stay out of this and no longer allow yourself to be put in the middle, which is what your parents are trying to do.

DEAR ABBY: An old friend of 50 years has recently been diagnosed with early Alzheimer's. She's still conducting her life as usual, driving and taking care of her banking, etc. However, she has lost her filter and talks to me about my figure ("Your thighs are shockingly thin"), and also my health ("Are you going to die? My mother had a cough like that, and she died"). I am struggling to control my anger at her presumptuousness and holding myself back from some very apt and mean comebacks. I don't seem to be able to let this go. I don't want to abandon her during this time (I took care of my husband with dementia for 17 years), but at the same time, I don't need to spend weeks spinning after her insensitive and cruel comments. Any ideas? -- INSULTED IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR INSULTED: If your friend is still well enough to "conduct her life as usual," she is also well enough to be told that you don't appreciate her comments. You don't have to jump down her throat, but do tell her that if they don't stop, she will be seeing less of you. When her Alzheimer's worsens, you may have to repeat it or redirect the conversation away from you.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter has been married to her high school sweetheart for 15 years. Their marriage has been rocky from the start due to her husband's "God" complex. He's a spoiled brat and a compulsive liar. He has not only caused mayhem in his own family but has nearly destroyed ours. He was extremely disrespectful to his late parents, and shortly after their deaths his bullying began being directed at us. Unfortunately, I have been the primary target.

As a career businesswoman, I've always been able to respectfully stand my ground. Because he cannot control me like he does everyone else, he degrades, ridicules and belittles me, hurling nasty language and offensive behavior at me at every opportunity. I have tried everything humanly possible to get along with him. I've been a kind, loving mother-in-law and grandmother to his children. My daughter can't protect me, nor can my husband. I'm at the point of being willing to sacrifice my relationship with my daughter and grandchildren to get away from this monster. Counseling has given me tools to protect myself emotionally, but in the real-time situation they are not helpful. Any thoughts, Abby? -- BROKEN-HEARTED IN NEW ENGLAND

DEAR BROKEN-HEARTED: Your son-in-law is an elder abuser and probably a misogynist. The example he sets for your grandchildren is abominable, and they shouldn't grow up thinking it is normal behavior. Perhaps it's time you model the behavior your daughter should follow and separate yourself entirely from her husband. See her one-on-one, if at all. If you would like a relationship with your grandchildren, leave it up to her to make sure it happens. In the meantime, if you have a will, talk to a lawyer about changing it to ensure her husband cannot gain control of your assets.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter-in-law is scheduled for surgery in a few weeks. She will need to take a leave of absence from her teaching job. When she put in her request to the principal, he wanted to know what kind of surgery she was having. At first, she told him it was personal and she would prefer not to say, but he continued to harass her until she told him. She was embarrassed because it's a female-related procedure. I told her what he did was unprofessional and it's possibly illegal (HIPAA) for him to ask such a question. In her contract, she's allowed to take an LOA for personal reasons. How do you think she should have handled this situation? -- LEAVE OF ABSENCE IN THE EAST

DEAR LOA: I think your daughter-in-law handled the grilling as best she could. But understand that the principal had no right to pry into her medical needs. What he did was ethically and morally wrong. If he wanted a note from her doctor explaining her need for time off for surgery, he could have requested it. The details of the procedure were none of his business. If she is suffering emotional distress because of his harassment, she should consult a lawyer.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 47-year-old male who is 20 days from being divorced. For the past three months, I have been dating a woman I've known for 26 years. We love each other and plan to be married. We have great times when we are together but struggle on the phone or with texting. I'm not sure why this is, but she says it's because we need to be together all the time.

We generally see one another on weekends. She says she has a tough time and cries a lot when I'm not around. My question is, is this normal? If I don't see her for two days, she gushes that she "missed me so much," whereas I miss her, but it's not a big deal to me. We aren't married now so I'm not in that frame of mind until we are. What can we do? -- NAVIGATING LOVE IN FLORIDA

DEAR NAVIGATING: What your lady friend is telling you may seem like a protestation of devotion, but it could instead be a red flag. Her discomfort at being apart could eventually become smothering. She's obviously emotionally needy. Although you have discussed marriage, PLEASE be sure the two of you have premarital counseling before proposing anything more than a warm friendship.

DEAR ABBY: I have been a little sad lately. The reason is that my best friend is acting weird. It makes me wonder if our friendship is slowly going away. Throughout our friendship, we have always jokingly made fun of each other. Lately, it seems that anything I say makes it awkward, and she hasn't been wanting to talk to me as often or acting the same way she did before. I'm afraid we are not going to be friends much longer, which scares me. How do I fix our friendship without asking for it upfront and without being weird? -- HER BESTIE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR BESTIE: You may be scared, but the only way you may be able to repair your friendship is to tell her how you are feeling. Because you sense she is distancing herself, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain by being honest. A way to start the conversation would be to ask if you may have offended her in some way with your jokes because, if you did, they weren't intended to be hurtful.

DEAR ABBY: How does one overcome a fear of heights? I have had it from the time I was a little girl. There was a bridge I had to cross walking home from school. I had to look down at my feet to cross it.

I recently purchased a condominium on the 16th floor in a high-rise building. I love the view, but I'm too afraid to walk out on my balcony. How do I overcome this? -- UP HIGH IN GEORGIA

DEAR UP HIGH: You are far from the only person who has a fear of heights. Consider installing some waist-high plants in front of the patio railing. This may allow you to enjoy your view without your knees wobbling. If you try this, do not look directly down. (I speak from experience.)