DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have lived in a country home for the past 25 years. When we moved here, our only neighbors were wild turkeys, deer and raccoons. Behind our house were 20 acres of woods, which extended into a cornfield. We were isolated and loved it.

Since then, a housing development has slowly been built around us. Last fall, a couple built a house behind us. Their rear deck is within 20 feet of our property line. The back of their house has large bedroom windows. They cut down all of the beautiful, mature trees from their lot.

I have always had a dusk-to-dawn sensor light at the rear of my house for security reasons and to dissuade raccoons. Now this couple is complaining that because their house is so close to my property line and the trees (which acted as a privacy barrier) are gone, my security light of 25 years is shining into their bedroom windows and disturbing them. They want me to get rid of it.

Of course, my attitude is that we and that light have been here for 25 years. They saw our house and property lines before they chose to build there and remove all their trees. I am not inclined to accommodate them, but I'm open to suggestions from you. -- BRIGHT GUY IN OHIO

DEAR BRIGHT GUY: I do have one. Explain to these new neighbors that your security light was installed to discourage trespassers and wild animals. Then suggest they install blackout curtains or shutters in their bedroom windows to prevent unwanted light from seeping in. If that doesn't solve the problem, and there is a governing body for your growing neighborhood, ask that the matter be mediated.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have two children and work opposite evening shifts so that one of us is home with the kids at all times. Recently, my best friend from high school surprised me with concert tickets to our favorite band, but the concert is on a night I'm supposed to be with the kids.

I don't have any friends or family around to babysit the children, so I asked my boyfriend if he would take the night off so that I can go to this concert. He told me the only way he would do that is if I reimburse him for his missed wages (approximately $300). Do you think it's fair to charge me to watch his own children? -- CONFUSED IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR CONFUSED: Should you reimburse your boyfriend for the wages he will miss if he takes off work so you can attend that concert? If his employer doesn't provide for personal time off, he will be out the money, and since you are the one altering your agreed-upon arrangement, you should reimburse him. What the two of you need to work out in the future is some form of plan so your children will be taken care of in the (hopefully unlikely) event that something should happen to both of you at the same time.

DEAR ABBY: As my parents have aged, my father has been misremembering things or making wrong assumptions. It has increasingly gotten on my mom's nerves (she has also become more impatient and snappy lately), and she has been yelling at him in response. Sometimes, he responds back, but usually he doesn't.

My sister snapped at them, saying she is tired of their bickering, so they don't do that around her as often anymore. But anytime I have gotten upset about it or tried to suggest to them how to resolve things, Mom gets upset with me. My mental health isn't the best right now, so continuing to do that doesn't seem like a good idea, but I'm at a loss about what to do. Any thoughts? -- UNCERTAIN IN IOWA

DEAR UNCERTAIN: Before this situation grows worse, please understand that it may be necessary for both of your parents to have physical and neurological examinations. If you can arrange for that, please do. The changes you describe in your father may be signs of dementia, and your mother may be stressed to the point that she can no longer deal with him without losing it.

DEAR ABBY: My 13-year-old son was getting off the school bus. His friend was in front of him. My son thought it would be funny to take his friend's water bottle out of his backpack and drop it on the pavement. A few days later, my son got sent to the principal's office, not because he was in trouble but because the parents had called the school to complain about their son's scuffed water bottle and wanted it replaced. They asked for $23.

I wrote a check and was tempted to add a snarky comment, but I didn't. Yes, my son should keep his hands to himself, but the water bottle is still functional. My son apologized. Am I living my life wrong, or is it OK that they just invoiced me like that? -- UNSURE IN ILLINOIS

DEAR UNSURE: Your son may have been trying to be funny when he damaged another student's property, but the boy's parents didn't see the humor in it. The bottle wasn't the disposable kind, and the parents were not out of line to expect to be reimbursed for your son damaging it. Perhaps he can reimburse you.

DEAR ABBY: Our family is already picking out items they want after my wife and I pass. They bring the subject up at every gathering. They have even started marking the items they want. My wife and I are 67 and 68. We are healthy and don't plan on dying for a while. This is starting to upset us both. How to shut them up is my question. -- ANNOYED IN TEXAS

DEAR ANNOYED: Your family gatherings remind me of a pack of slavering wolves surrounding their potential prey. Here's how to shut them up: At the next gathering, tell your kin that if they keep this up, when you and your wife depart this earthly plane, all of your possessions will be going to charity.

DEAR ABBY: I had a friend, "Mylene," for many years. We swapped dog-sitting to offset the cost for each other. I helped her when she was sick and broke her foot. I walked her dog whenever she needed me. If a funeral, wedding or family emergency came up, I was always there for her.

An aunt of mine in another state passed away. I would have had to drive there, but her daughter was making the funeral arrangements while in the hospital herself. The funeral was delayed until the next week because my aunt's body had to be shipped to another state for the funeral.

When I told Mylene, she said she'd keep my dog, but when the date changed, she said she couldn't do it. "I have to work," she said. Abby, her dog stays at home while she works, so why is there a problem? I reminded her of everything that I have done to help her out when she needed it, but she didn't want to help me. (This was two days before I was to travel for the funeral.)

I have tried many times to apologize to Mylene, but she refuses to make amends with me. All she does is send emojis, which I find disgusting. Can't she call and talk to me like a grown adult to straighten this out? I paid her several times to help her, and this is what I get? What do you think about this? -- DISAPPOINTED IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR DISAPPOINTED: You have done plenty for Mylene, but the time to remind her wasn't when she said she couldn't take care of your dog. (Is this why you "have tried many times to apologize"?) Mylene may have sent emojis instead of calling because you embarrassed her. When we do favors for others, we shouldn't do them with the expectation that we will be paid back. What do I think about this? I think you should find another dog-sitter immediately.

DEAR ABBY: Our daughter and her family live an hour from us. We are both in fair health. Our daughter got a late start on marriage and children. Their girls are 10 and 8. The little one is sweet and shy, but the 10-year-old is a nightmare to be around. She's very smart but also manipulative. She lies, cheats and steals. She is rude and seems to always do exactly the opposite of what an adult tells her to do. If her parents see her being sassy or ugly, they will put her in timeout for 10 minutes, but nothing ever changes.

None of their neighbors wants this child at their home. To make matters worse, she has begun early puberty. We can't stand being around this 10-year-old because it wears us out. We love our daughter and would like to have a good relationship with the whole family. Please advise on how we could help or what we should do. -- EXHAUSTED GRANDPARENTS IN OHIO

DEAR GRANDPARENTS: A 10-minute timeout is not enough discipline for a 10-year-old's consistent bad behavior. Without further intervention, that girl is headed for big trouble. Please suggest to your daughter that she consult a child psychologist about how to get her obviously troubled daughter heading in the right direction before things become worse.