DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together for 18 years. Everyone we know thinks we are married, but we never got it on paper. He has always been less empathetic than I would like, and there's a lot of stuff I either had to accept or move on. He never buys me gifts (no matter how much I've told him it bothers me), and it has been a struggle for him to even hug me when I'm sad.

These last few years have been harder than usual. I have blown up like a freaking balloon from emotional eating, and our relationship is falling apart. We haven't had sex in six months (who knows when before that), and it's taken a toll on me. I keep wondering if it's me.

He used to at least give me massages, and I'd feel closeness through that intimacy, but now it feels like we are strangers. I know we have a lot of stressful stuff going on, but where's the love? How do I talk to him about this? -- STRANGER IN LOVE

DEAR STRANGER: Choose a time when you and your partner are calm and as stress-free as possible. Open the conversation by saying you don't think HE is happy and ask him why. Couples don't "not get around" to getting married. There are usually explanations for it. Those reasons should have been dealt with years ago.

Once he's done expressing what he thinks about your relationship, it will be time to tell him how lonely, isolated and unhappy you have become. If you are both willing to work on making it better, you have a chance for a better future with him. However, if he runs true to form, then it is time to cut your losses before you starve to death from lack of affection, which is likely the reason for all of your emotional eating.

DEAR ABBY: My ex-girlfriend just can't get a clue. She continues trying to get me back and even goes so far as to stalk me. I blocked her phone number, but it has become exhausting. How do I tell her I don't love her anymore and really no longer even like her? I can't stand her, her family or her friends. She gaslit me for years. Our entire relationship was built on a lie. I'm so much happier without her in my life, but she just won't go away. Any advice on how to deal with this crazy person would be great. -- SO OVER HER IN FLORIDA

DEAR SO OVER HER: Continue to avoid your ex, and if you see her, do not acknowledge her. If she approaches you, tell her you are done and to leave you alone. Do not respond to her calls, emails or texts, and if she mails you anything, write "return to sender" on the package or envelope.

Tell your friends that she is stalking you and her behavior is creepy, and then continue dating and resume your social life. If she acts out or damages your property, report her to the authorities. The most effective way to get rid of her is to resume the life you had before you met her and don't look back.

DEAR ABBY: My wife's nephew is getting divorced. The process seems to be amicable; there was no cheating or abuse. They have two children. Even though the soon-to-be-ex, "Michelle," has always been welcoming and nice, my wife's family has circled the wagons. They no longer talk to her and have made clear I can't either. I don't think that's right.

Michelle has done nothing wrong and has been cordial to us. My wife says to stay out of it and never contact her. I think that's immature. I realize my thoughts don't matter. However, I'm thinking about contacting Michelle to say I feel bad about being in that position and apologize.

I think if I did, I'd feel better about myself, and she'd know that everyone doesn't hate her. Should something happen to my wife's nephew, I would have some basis for connection to the children. What do you think? -- NAVIGATING CHANGE IN ILLINOIS

DEAR NAVIGATING: I think you are more mature than your wife's family. You are an adult, and you should do what you feel is right.

DEAR ABBY: My father left our family when I was in sixth grade. Because he had cheated on our mom numerous times, he was removed from his ministry and went into education. I tried to resolve my feelings with him, but he would never admit his faults. When I finally asked him to tell me the truth, he refused.

I am now in my 60s and still angry at him. I have a wonderful wife and two beautiful kids he has never met. Before he dies, I'd like to tell him how I feel about him and ask him one more time to tell the truth. Is this worth the effort? He is 92, so I don't have much time. -- ANGRY STILL IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR ANGRY: Your efforts will be better spent if you meet with your father and tell him you forgive him for his transgressions. Do this not for him but for yourself, to free you from the burden of anger you have carried for all these years -- and will continue to carry after his demise.

DEAR ABBY: How does one approach, by phone, email or in person, a couple -- close friends of many years -- whose husband is slipping into dementia? Do we acknowledge and commiserate, pretend nothing is amiss, stop communicating and seeing them? Or ... what, exactly?

The profound tragedy is that the husband has been an intellectual and executive giant of immense quality, with abundant gifts and skills. Watching this slow-motion tragedy unfold is agonizing. Not knowing what to say or do compounds the pain. -- DELIVERING PAINFUL NEWS

DEAR DELIVERING: Social isolation is a killer. People in the early to middle stages of dementia are capable of being social. What you should continue to do is be the friend to this couple that you always have been and take your guidance from the wife. She will appreciate your kindness and support during this difficult time.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I (we're both male) have been together since 2007. We moved to Arizona in 2010. Most of our family lives in the Midwest. We have been visiting our families as often as possible, at least every other year. Our son-in-law refuses to let us stay the night in his home when we visit. His excuse is, he doesn't want to have to explain to his two daughters why we sleep in the same bed. (The daughters are 6 and 8.)

My husband and I no longer feel comfortable around our son-in-law, and we told our daughter we feel it would be best to skip this year's visit. She offered to put us up in a hotel. We declined the offer and said we have other friends we can visit. Our daughter then offered to come and visit us with our granddaughters. We also declined that offer.

Are we doing the right thing? We feel the son-in-law is using his daughters as an excuse for his own homophobic feelings toward us. -- UNWELCOME IN THE WEST

DEAR UNWELCOME: I see nothing positive to be gained by punishing your daughter and your 6- and 8-year-old grandchildren, who have offered viable alternatives, because their father is uncomfortable with your sexual orientation. Let your daughter visit and bring the children. Foster a strong relationship with all of them. If you succeed, your narrow-minded son-in-law may find himself increasingly marginalized.

DEAR ABBY: In the past, I always disliked my appearance. I have been obese most of my 70 years but am now within 20 pounds of my ideal weight. My problem is, I have met someone I like very much and could see spending the rest of my life with. However, she is obese, and it bothers me greatly. How can I effectively communicate my desire that she lose 30 to 50 pounds without being offensive? -- FINALLY SLIM IN FLORIDA

DEAR FINALLY SLIM: Approaching someone and saying you want them to lose 30 to 50 pounds would be like touching the third rail. You can, however, as you get to know this person better, model your healthy lifestyle and encourage her by setting an example. If she picks up on it, she may be the lady for you.

DEAR ABBY: About six months ago, I began arranging a group dinner for the wives of my husband's poker buddies. It started out great. However, a new wife to the group has instigated praying in the restaurant, along with holding hands as we pray.

This is not my style nor is it for a few others. We feel held hostage to her request and aren't sure how to put a stop to this display. I'm very private about the spiritual side of my life. Another member of the group is agnostic. Please advise me on a tactful way to address this dear woman. -- UNCOMFORTABLE IN THE WEST

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: I'm glad to help. Address this privately. Explain to the woman that not everyone in the group is comfortable displaying their religiosity in public, and some may prefer to do their worshiping privately. If necessary, remind her that silent prayer is just as effective as praying aloud.