Mail delivery used to be a sport for the whole family. The dog was excited to see the mailman (as he was likely to be then), even if the mailman was not excited to see the dog. The baby loved to rip up the packaging and stomp on the foam bubbles. That left Miss Manners time to read her letters in peace, an activity she finds both enjoyable and enlightening.

But then the children grew up, and so did the technology. Since the mail started arriving electronically, Miss Manners' Gentle Readers have deluged her with complaints that their friends and relations never put down their cellular telephones.

They are constantly checking for emergencies. Unless they had left children at home in possession of matchbooks, the potential emergencies are always described as work-related. And perhaps they are. Miss Manners does not peek at other people's screens.

But putting aside the increasingly flabby definition of "emergencies," she recognizes a valid concern. The volume of work-related mail has increased enormously from the days of typewriters and mimeograph machines, and employees on the receiving end also have complaints. They are constantly on call, and they are aware that their personal relationships are being harmed.

The standard explanation is that greater email volume is an unavoidable consequence of an increase in the speed and complexity of business. That this garners sympathy for their heavy responsibilities may have caused them to overlook an equally plausible explanation:

Business people are becoming windy. Many are still too struck by the technology itself to stop and think about how to use it politely. And social media have taught them to think of self-editing as a vice rather than a courtesy.

So there is all that mail in the inbox and someone has to read it, and alongside the announcements of free cake in the lunchroom, there may be real emergencies.

Miss Manners recognizes that it is probably futile to suggest that not every aspect of one's job is of Lifesaving Importance. Or that having a sense of perspective about our work can improve our ability to do that work. Or that every business consultant's dictum to Think Outside the Box requires time to think.

But she asks that bosses and workers alike stop hurling accusations of insufficient dedication at workers who do not respond at noon on a Sunday to every thought that passes through a co-worker's head. Employees may be intimidated into responding even if the boss had no other intent than to clear out his own inbox.

She asks everyone to acknowledge that employees -- and bosses, too -- are entitled to some time away from the office. Someone should actually read all those emails from Human Resources about how much they care about Their People. Just not during family dinner.

If there must be after-hours communication, the technology itself may be used to distinguish the pressing from the vital-but-less-time-sensitive. Company policy could, for example, dictate that agreed-upon categories of emergencies are handled by telephone or text rather than email.

What matters is that everyone, including bosses, take time away from those devices to think about the contents of the correspondence -- and the welfare of the correspondents.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: People pressed for time in the morning do all manner of things in their cars on the way to work: They eat breakfast, pluck their eyebrows, floss and apply makeup. While visible to their fellow commuters, they seem to think themselves in an isolation field.

I, on the other hand, walk to work, and not unlike the commuters above, I like to make productive use of the 15 minutes by shaving with an electric razor as I go. My wife tells me this is totally socially unacceptable. It seems, oddly, to be an issue one does not find addressed in etiquette references. What's the buzz?

GENTLE READER: Other than the one coming from your electric razor? (Miss Manners feels sure that you intended to set her up for this punch line and is ashamed of herself for taking the bait. She is further under the impression that you are being cheeky with the question, but will nevertheless attempt to take it seriously.)

Although dangerous, sometimes unlawful and always unsavory, grooming in a moving vehicle is not necessarily a breach of etiquette. There is an illusion of privacy when one is behind closed doors, even if there are glass windows that shatter it. After all, inadvisable as it may be, people do personal things in their homes behind open shades all the time.

Walking down the street, however, is completely public, and shaving is therefore not permitted there. Further, having been in the path of many a pedestrian distracted by a cellular device, Miss Manners shudders at the consequences of being in that of an oncoming shaver.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am throwing a camping party for up to 18 of my close friends (all between 20-30 years old) packed into three campsites. When a friend who has a 2-year-old accepted my invitation, I told her I'd be happy to get an additional campsite for her family, as the larger rowdy group wouldn't be very kid-friendly. I anticipate a lot of late nights and sleeping in until way past sunrise.

She got so mad at me she's not even coming anymore!

I really thought I was trying my best to accommodate a baby at an event that is certainly not kid-friendly. Was there another way I should have handled it? Or is it OK to hold my ground and not force my other friends to share a site with only three or four tents, packed in with a cranky toddler?

GENTLE READER: Are you absolutely certain that your friend intended to bring the presumably cranky toddler? Or was her acceptance of your invitation immediately met with your offer to banish her to another campsite, away from all social activity?

Even if it was clear that the whole family planned to attend, Miss Manners suspects that it was the implication that no one would want to be within three camps of her that offended your friend.

Perhaps two years of dirty looks and assumptions of noise and bad behavior as she has attempted to go about her life with the socially inconvenient addition of a toddler triggered her reaction. You could have discussed the problem from the angle of not wanting a boisterous crowd to upset an innocent child who would not be able to get much sleep.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Now that same-sex marriage has been declared legal in my state, my son and his fiance are planning their wedding. They have chosen black and white as their colors. Is it appropriate to request that their guests also dress in black and white?

GENTLE READER: It has always been appropriate for gentlemen, whether bridegrooms or guests, to wear black and white at a wedding. Miss Manners reminds you, however, that it has never been appropriate to attempt dictating color schemes to the ladies.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Sometimes I see patrons in a store or restaurant peer at the service employee's name tag and say something like, "Hello there ... Tiffany ... how are you today?" It always comes out with this forced conviviality, as if to say, "Look, everyone! I'm a good, egalitarian person treating the lowly server as a person. Isn't that great of me?"

I think it actually says, "You have such a menial job that you're forced to wear a stupid name tag, so I know your name and feel free to use it even though I don't know you -- but you don't know my name because I'm a higher-class person and get to dress the way I want."

I think name tags are just so you know whom to refer to if needed, as in, "I think Tiffany is our server. Could you ask her to bring the check?"

Am I right to see this as presumptuous behavior?

GENTLE READER: The presumption in the greeting you mention is not in using Tiffany's name, but in asking the waitress how she is "doing," a question about her mood or life that is not relevant to the business at hand.

Miss Manners has no objection to using a form of address that has been supplied by the addressee, even if, in this case, it may technically have been Tiffany's boss who chose the form. She does wish the form supplied was more formal, as she agrees with you that first names in this context are an invitation to mistreatment.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My fiance and I are having a cupcake tree instead of serving sliced wedding cake at our wedding, which will be held at our church, with all of the church members and their families invited.

A couple hundred cupcakes are about as expensive as the typical wedding cake, and are ordered with the number of attenders in mind, but there is typically no server and guests can take one when they desire.

On a typical Sunday after church, there are snacks served after the service. We have a group of children who are often unmonitored at this time who think nothing of swarming the snack table the minute the dish of cookies, coffee cake, etc., is set out. They grab multiples of the snack -- often as many as they can carry, and many times come back for more, regardless of whether everyone else has had a chance to have some.

This is usually accepted and nothing is expressed openly against it, although occasionally I will hear an adult mumble unhappily about there being nothing left for the adults by the time they reach the table.

I would like to prevent this happening at my wedding. Is it acceptable to put a small sign in front of the cupcake tree asking guests to please take one? If not, how should I handle this with grace?

GENTLE READER: It would have to be an impressive sign to separate even reasonably well-behaved children from unattended sweets, particularly when there is a contrary tradition.

Miss Manners advises a more active intervention, in this case a caterer or family member who is willing to slip out before the service is concluded to gently advise the children that this time, we will be waiting for the adults to go first. Or just place the tree on a high table, out of the children's reach.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)