DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the proper action when a guest accidentally breaks an item, other than apologizing and offering to replace it?

What does a guest do if the item is of great sentimental value, but of little or no monetary value? A replacement item will not have the same sentimental value as the original. How about if the item’s monetary value is higher than what the guest can afford? Or if the item is part of a set: Does the guest just buy a replacement for the broken item, or an entire new set? Will cash work (tacky, true, but the item may have been bought overseas and not available locally)?

What does a host do when presented with the replacement item? Is a simple “thank you” all that is needed?

These are not theoretical questions: I have broken a fine bone china mug out of a set of six mugs, each with a different design. My hostess did not inherit this set, but it is antique, and, like most everything in her house, there is a story about how and when she bought it.

I want to do the proper thing; I have apologized profusely and offered to replace it. She has laughed it off and said not to worry about it.

GENTLE READER: Clumsy guests should do the maximum amount of groveling -- and make reasonable attempts at replacing broken items -- without themselves becoming the nuisance. You do not wish to be a friend, Miss Manners warns, whom hosts are willing to chuck, if only to get you to stop harassing them.

Gracious hosts need only thank their destructive guests for their efforts and do their best to reassure them that for anything less valuable than a statue, it was old and they were looking to get rid of it anyway.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Each Christmas, we host a party for friends and neighbors. This year, our neighbors brought along their adult daughter and her partner, who were visiting from out of state.

They arrived intoxicated and were very loud and obnoxious, making rude comments to other guests. Some of our invited guests left early as a result, as did her parents. We’re uncertain about how to address this problem without alienating our neighbors.

We certainly don’t want a repeat performance next year! What is the appropriate way to handle party guests who behave in a rude or disorderly manner?

GENTLE READER: When even their own parents give up on them and go home, it is a problem indeed.

Miss Manners suggests that next year, you enlist their help: “Your children seemed to have such a wonderful time at our party, but in our quiet neighborhood, we feel ill-equipped to keep up with them. Perhaps they would be happier with a livelier set.”

With unrelated misbehaving adults, you may say the same, omitting -- if heavily insinuating -- the part about being children.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Would you enlighten us as to when children’s tables are appropriate?

My brother and I are 17 and 15, and we were required to eat a holiday meal in a separate room with the host couple’s 7-year-old son. We have never shown our relatives anything but good table manners, and are always respectful and reserved as guests. This arrangement insulted us, but was it a breach of etiquette?

GENTLE READER: Hosts faced with limited room at the dining room table are forced to make a cut-off age for the children’s table -- and Miss Manners is guessing that in this case, it was 18.

The good news is that this is a problem that you will soon age out of -- at which point Miss Manners will good-naturedly entertain your complaints about the boring adults, and your desire to return to the children’s table so that you can gossip about them.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: At family gatherings, everyone prepares several dishes for a buffet-style meal. My sister-in-law will visually assess what I put on my dinner plate. She then verbally calls me out in front of everyone if she feels I did not take enough of (or any) of the food she prepared.

At one gathering, she told me I have to try what she made and I cannot leave her house until I do. How do I respond to such controlling behavior in front of all the relatives and guests?

GENTLE READER: “Thank you, I am full. I wasn’t planning on spending the night, but if you are insisting, perhaps I can have it for breakfast.” And then hope that this public response garners laughs, and not an invitation.

Miss Manners further recommends that in a less heated moment, you suggest that if your sister-in-law feels that it is so important for her guests to eat only what she cooks, then she should not be giving potluck dinners.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I sent a floral delivery to my sister-in-law for Christmas. She responded to my husband (as she always does) by text, saying, “Thank you for thinking of me, the floral tree is pathetic! Demand your money back. Picture to follow.”

The photo was never sent. Since it is too late for us to fix it, I would rather not know that my thoughtfulness failed. How does one respond to that?

GENTLE READER: While your sister-in-law was brusque and failed to follow through, Miss Manners does not condemn the sentiment. If there is, as you say, something to be done about it, she would think you would want to know if a present was sent damaged. You could have responded, “I am so sorry it did not please you. If you can send us that picture, we will be sure to get in touch with the florist and ask for a replacement, on the grounds that it was not up to their usual standard.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My neighborhood grocery store has recently begun featuring a guitar-playing singer during busier shopping times. His makeshift stage is just by the door, so one is in his field of vision upon entering and exiting the store, as well as while browsing the produce.

While the songs aren’t offensive, loud or bothersome in any way, I find the whole arrangement awkward and generally try to avoid eye contact. Am I being rude? How should one respond to a live entertainer when shopping for necessaries?

GENTLE READER: Placing a performer in such a situation is one of many thoughtless ideas that occur to modern employers with alarming regularity. Miss Manners’ sympathy is with the musician, whose predicament is worse than yours.

But as these people have agreed to do this -- and are presumably being paid -- your own responsibilities are limited to a brief acknowledgment in passing, and refraining from dumping mayonnaise on their instruments.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My spouse and I were invited to dinner at the house of a couple with whom we are very close. Another couple, whom we didn’t know well, was actually cooking the dinner.

Before dinner, I made some remarks about how hungry I was and couldn’t wait to eat. When we sat down for dinner, I was three bites into my dressing when I discovered a hair in the food. I discreetly removed it from my mouth with my napkin, but was repulsed and couldn’t eat any more.

My hosts kept asking why I wasn’t eating when I had just recently proclaimed how hungry I was. I responded by saying I was full or I had had enough.

On our way home, my spouse asked me why I had stopped eating. When I told him, he was upset that I continued to let him eat the food, knowing what I had found.

If the food had been prepared by our friends, I could’ve been honest with them about what I found and even laughed it off. Since the food was prepared by the couple we didn’t know, I did not say anything. Was I in a no-win situation?

GENTLE READER: More than one, as your husband will attest. Miss Manners hopes that your husband will accept your apology and come to see the humor of the situation.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the polite response when served more than one can eat?

I visited my son, who had cooked a nice meal. Without prompting or asking, he served me and my guest what I consider to be huge portions of food. Neither of us were able to eat all we were served.

My son says that not to eat it all was wasteful and rude. I consider serving someone more than they can eat to be wasteful and rude.

GENTLE READER: Hosts, even sons, who attempt to force-feed their guests must be dealt with firmly. Protest -- and, if your host persists, continue to protest -- that while the food is excellent, you simply cannot eat another bite. Entering into specifics (“I ate a big lunch,”; ”I’m allergic to eggplant,”; ”It’s too fattening”) only invites an argument -- just as eating the overgenerous portion only invites seconds.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)