DEAR MISS MANNERS: Since relocating two years ago, I walk two blocks to the same local coffee shop to order a morning coffee and latte for my wife and me. As I’m a recognized regular patron, I’ve come to know nearly every member of the staff. I always greet them with a warm hello, and they respond in kind -- that is, except for one curmudgeon of a cashier.

I know he knows I’m a regular, because he knows our drink order by heart, as well as my name. But for whatever reason, he has never once even attempted to be cordial. When I greet him with a friendly, “Good morning!” he responds with a gruff “The usual?” No smile, no greeting, no mention of my name ... nothing. He just fills my order, takes my payment and that’s it.

Should I bring up his curt behavior with the store manager, who is always friendly to me? Or should I simply accept that this is his normal demeanor? I know it’s a small thing, but it’s really starting to rub me the wrong way.

GENTLE READER: And your cheeriness may be rubbing him the wrong way. Yet Miss Manners does not want you to change.

You don’t even have to accept the idea that he will never change. People have different temperaments, and sometimes the steady administration of cheer can make an eventual difference.

But the worst thing you could do is to get him in trouble by reporting him. He is doing his job, and it is presumptuous of you to believe that you should be able to control his mood. Besides, it would only show him that your show of goodwill was a mask.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I received an invitation to an acquaintance’s 60th birthday, and we were shocked to see that “monetary gifts only” were requested. She is single and throwing this party for herself, so the fact that a grown woman is very plainly asking for money is very off-putting (particularly when the event doesn’t include dinner and has a cash bar).

While we will not be attending, it did prompt a debate with what etiquette would call for in this situation. For adult birthday or dinner parties, we usually bring a nice bottle of wine, or the like, as a thank-you to the host. But it feels ridiculous to bring an envelope containing cash as if this were a party for a 16-year-old.

What would proper etiquette be in this case? Either show up with cash, or decline to attend?

GENTLE READER: Yes, that is your choice. You should understand that you were not invited to a party, but to a fundraiser. The rules are different.

For a birthday party, you would choose to bring a present -- although for an adult birthday, it is not strictly necessary, and many such celebrants try to discourage their guests from doing so. (The simplest way to do that is not to announce the birthday on the invitation, but only at the party itself, thus enabling the guests to protest that they wish they had known so they could have brought something.)

But for a fundraiser, it is understood that attendance indicates a willingness to support the cause. So only go -- and give -- if you believe that helping support this acquaintance is a good use of your charitable funds.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: On several occasions, I have met someone new at a party or an event, and in the middle of a pleasant conversation, had that person look me right in the eye, smile and say with regret how heavy they are and how much they need to lose weight.

I am an overweight woman, and although I try every day to eat right and stay fit, I do struggle with it. Invariably, this new acquaintance is someone much thinner than I. I am perplexed at how to respond, so I usually just stare expressionlessly and try to change the subject.

Of course I can’t agree with them, because it isn’t true. I suspect they want me to say that they don’t need to lose any weight at all, and that certainly I am the one who must lose weight.

However, this is so obvious that it doesn’t seem necessary to even say it, and I don’t want to discuss my weight or theirs. It strikes me as being very rude to tell a heavy person that you yourself want to lose weight, especially when speaking to someone who is perhaps twice your size. What do you suggest as an appropriate response?

GENTLE READER: “Oh dear, I am sorry to hear you say that about yourself. My experience is that people can be healthy and attractive at all different sizes.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a teacher looking for a polite way to respond when people tell me that “it must be nice,” in reference to not working and receiving pay for July and August.

The fact that two months of our salary is held back to preclude filing for unemployment is lost on most people. Similarly, people also say that teachers work a half-day. Most schools have teachers on site for seven hours, with less than an hour for lunch. I am contractually “at work” for seven hours. Most jobs are eight. And no one wants to think about the hours spent at home working.

I’ve tried to be polite and explain. I’ve been snippy. I’ve just rolled with it. After 28 years, it is enough. What comment might get through to people?

GENTLE READER: “Oh, I’m not sure you understand how the teacher’s day and school year work. So tell me, do you actually get to pick when you have lunch and go on vacation? That must be heaven!”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am familiar with the attempts to come up with an agreed-upon word that English speakers can use as a gender-neutral, third-person singular pronoun, and I had wondered whether people are also trying to come up with a gender-neutral title and term of address.

When I was sending a comment to one of my senators via his website, I noticed Mx. was one of the prefix (title) options. (According to an online dictionary, it is pronounced “mix.”) Is Mx. sufficiently codified, or do you have an alternative that you recommend instead?

I know that Ms. is the title to use if you know you are addressing a woman but don’t know if she prefers another title. Is it correct to use Mx. if you are addressing someone whose gender you do not know? For example, is it acceptable to address an envelope to Mx. Pat Smith? Or is it better to omit the title?

Is Mx. also the gender-neutral term of address, equivalent to “sir” and “ma’am”? If not, what is?

Ms. happens to be my preferred title, and I remember when it came into everyday use. Your explanation of the proper use of Mx. (or whatever the codified term turns out to be) may help it to be adopted more quickly and easily than Ms. was.

GENTLE READER: Having lost the battle with the pronoun “they” -- she is absolutely in favor of its neutrality, just not its confusing grammatical ramifications -- Miss Manners is going to be brave enough to try again, and proclaim her endorsement of Mx., or perhaps just M., as the French have sometimes done. It can be used in formal business settings and written correspondence where first names may or may not be needed.

However, she does not recommend addressing anyone, of any gender, face to face, as Mmmmmm.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a foreign-born American who came to this country decades ago and who speaks English with only a slight accent. Although I am proud of my heritage, the United States has long been my home, and I am a full-fledged citizen of this country.

I have begun working as a customer service representative dealing with a number of people by phone, and although I love my job, my accent has led to a number of awkward situations.

Occasionally, people will politely ask where I was born and I will tell them, then steer them back to the matter at hand. Other times, however, some will assume that I am speaking to them from a foreign country, which I am not, and make nationalistic remarks that are disturbing. Even worse is when I’m blatantly told that they’d prefer to speak to another representative “who is an American,” though that is my nationality.

I understand that “the customer is always right,” but how do I do my job and reply to impolite remarks that question my background and abilities, particularly when I’m generally speaking better English than the person that I am talking to?

GENTLE READER: “I am so sorry, it sounded as if you said you thought that I was not American? I could not quite understand your English.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)