DEAR MISS MANNERS: Two years ago, I neglected to give my brother and sister-in-law a wedding gift.

We live in a very remote location, and it’s difficult and expensive for us to leave our home base. So when we traveled for his wedding, we tacked on several weeks of travel around the country to see all our family and friends. During this trip, our main credit card came up for renewal and we misplaced the new cards. The bank said replacements would have to be sent to our home address, no exceptions.

This was OK, since we had backups. But then, the day before the wedding, we were victims of identity theft. Our remaining funds (bank accounts and associated cards) were frozen.

We had planned to buy the gift that day. (I know, I know!) Obviously we couldn’t. Dealing with the identity theft and the near-total lack of money, thousands of miles from home and weeks away from our return plane tickets, was pretty rough.

By the time we tried to buy my brother a gift again, we could no longer access his registry. We kept meaning to figure out an alternative ... and we just didn’t.

My brother and I have never talked about it. My husband and I have since had a short, pleasant visit with him and his wife, so I don’t think they’re holding a grudge. But I feel terrible! We never told them about our money situation, because at first we didn’t want to bother them, and then later it sounded too ridiculous and far-fetched to share.

What do we do now? Do we bring it up? Let it go, since they don’t seem mad? Send an anniversary gift? That seems kind of creepy. They’re planning on starting a family soon -- should we send something extra special for the baby and call it good? Or do we just bury this forever?

GENTLE READER: Two years ago seems long enough for this to have become a funny story. Since everyone here has behaved well -- and not harbored resentments or made demands -- why not surprise the couple with an impromptu present?

Particularly now that they have settled into their home and you are familiar with their tastes, it will be that much more meaningful than if it had been just an item checked off their registry.

The added advantage, Miss Manners notes, is that future family harmony may be secured. The omission can now no longer be brought up 20 years later in an unrelated squabble.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I are expecting our third child. It so happens that my OB’s office and our children’s pediatrician are in the same building.

This building has a handful of spots reserved for expecting mothers. I parked there while taking my son to his doctor, but my husband felt like those spots are to be used by OB patients. I feel like pregnant is pregnant, and those spots are open to any expecting women, regardless of which doctor you are visiting.

GENTLE READER: Anyone who follows a pregnant woman into a doctor’s office to confirm that she is there only for the most obvious reasons forfeits the high ground, as well as the parking spot. Otherwise, Miss Manners agrees with you that you are entitled to it for the duration of your pregnancy.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A dear friend of mine recently became engaged after 12 years of dating. This is a second wedding for both parties, and both are well over 50 years old and established.

The groom has been unemployed for years, and the bride-to-be makes close to six figures. Regardless of their financial situation, neither could afford to have a large wedding, so they started planning a small, intimate event.

Flash-forward a few weeks. Suddenly, 70 invitations go out in the mail, people are being asked to provide tables, tablecloths, food, labor, decorations, flowers from their gardens, music, photography, transportation for her mother ... you get the picture. The last straw was when a call came to “man a table at the wedding to replenish supplies and keep the punch bowl full.”

Miss Manners, the guests of this wedding love and adore the bride and wish her nothing but the best, but how do we tell her that enough is enough?

In addition to throwing her a shower, assisting in throwing the wedding, and providing the setup and cleanup, she is expecting gifts. I love this woman, but am sick of feeling used and abused.

I’m tired of feeling guilty for saying no, and don’t want to offend her, but I’m at a loss and feeling very resentful.

GENTLE READER: Your friend is running an event-planning operation -- with no pay for her workers. As she is a good friend, Miss Manners suggests that you take her aside and tell her that her guests will be more at ease enjoying less-expensive fare than being asked to provide it. And then point her in the direction of the nearest dollar store and task-assistance app.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I were hosting a small dinner party that included his 91-year-old father, whom we spend every day with, as well as a handful of other guests.

There were two separate conversations being held at the table when my husband openly shushed a guest and me, because he wanted to hear his dad’s conversation better. Our guest and I were caught off guard, but then politely stopped talking. Of course, she was never able to finish her story after that.

After our guests left, I told my husband that he was rude to shush us, but he felt that because his dad is 91, we shouldn’t have been talking, but instead just listening to his dad speak. Who was rude -- my husband, or our guest and I?

GENTLE READER: How loud were you speaking? Had your husband asked you and your dinner partner politely if you could speak more quietly, Miss Manners would have been more willing to take his side.

However, it is a reasonable expectation that at dinner parties of more than three people, multiple conversations may take place. If your husband’s requirement is that only his father should speak whenever he is present, then the occasions should be limited to smaller audiences. Or ones that exclusively involve speeches and toasts.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I often enjoy bike rides, and, for various reasons, I tend to stop a lot while riding. I’m an introverted and private person. The problem: Often when I stop and get off my bicycle, another bicyclist comes along and stops to ask -- or, rather, demands to know -- ”Are you OK?”

Each time I’ve been asked, there has been absolutely nothing about the situation that suggests that I am NOT all right. I am standing there, intact (not prone on the ground, not seated, not scraped and wounded, not looking upset or as if I just fell); my bike is intact; I am often on the phone; and what’s more, I tend to be turned away from the approaching cyclist, to attempt to dissuade them from stopping and interrogating me.

Yet, apparently, none of these things have proved useful to discourage this questioning. When I’ve voiced these concerns with those who’ve stopped to inquire about my state, these conversations have not gone well. Admittedly, I’ve been testy and sarcastic in my replies, which reflects my annoyance. I’ve explained that I have a mouth and two hands, and could very well call or signal for help if I needed it. Yet, such replies seem to always result in the other rider snapping at me that I’m quite rude, and insisting I should be grateful that they offered to help. These scuffles do not make either my ride or theirs more pleasant.

I could simply reply “yes, I’m OK,” but to do that would be to support their practice of rather inappropriately and invasively (as I experience it) interrogating any stopped person, which I am reluctant to do.

If I say nothing at all, I am treated to a hail of insults as they ride off. If I try to explain why I don’t appreciate being commanded to reply to an invasive question/interrogation, I’m again likely to be treated to a series of insults, but there’s the off chance I might be able to illuminate someone.

Then again, perhaps it’s futile to think I can have any impact at all, particularly if my reply evidences any of the annoyance that I feel. Do you have any words of wisdom?

GENTLE READER: Hesitant though she now is to offer help, Miss Manners reminds herself that you asked.

Very well. As irritating as you find people’s unsolicited solicitousness, discouraging people from showing concern for others is bad policy. Snapping at people makes the world a less pleasant place and, what may mean more to you, prolongs the encounter. Grit your teeth, repeat, “Thanks, I’m fine,” and go back to your phone.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How long should you wait after you have been engaged to announce the wedding date?

GENTLE READER: Long enough to make sure neither you nor your betrothed will have a change of mind, but not so long that your would-be guests have booked conflicting vacations.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)